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Teen gobshittery

4 replies

Teenthree · 26/02/2026 19:42

I am a single parent. My ex sees our sons in school hols and that’s the extent of his involvement. It’s all on me.

They are 16, 15, 15. Outwardly polite and well behaved to other people, but same as their Dad, ASD - Asperger’s type and a good splash of demand avoidance. They are massive, eat tons and tons, whiff a bit unless prompted and loathe change.

Im in the trenches with them all at the moment. Hormones, boundaries, that sort of thing. My weapon of choice is the router, which is currently in the boot of my sister’s car. This is after a series of rows with the younger two, who have separately insulted me in every possible way this week, whilst simultaneously trying to tap me up for cash and lifts.

They also spot when one has kicked off, and the others will too - like fighting against a common enemy!

im so tired of fighting. If you have come out of the other side of this, tell me what your best tips are! The disrespect is awful, I hate it. But in other ways they’re good, do a lot of their own care/laundry/cooking and get themselves to school. But everything is a battle. Do I just have to keep going until their brains click out of arsehole mode or is there another way?

All advice gratefully received!

OP posts:
Disposableusername374 · 26/02/2026 19:46

I’m learning with devices it has to be everything; consoles, laptops, phones…homework done at table on laptop under direct supervision. Mine will just drift onto something else otherwise. Clear guidelines on how to earn things back.

I’m praying personal hygiene improves when mine discovers girls…

Teenthree · 26/02/2026 21:48

It feels like a constant battle. One admittedly takes grooming as he calls it, very seriously. The other two, not so much.

It’s the rudeness I find so hard.

OP posts:
Endofyear · 26/02/2026 23:06

I think you're right to come down hard on disrespect and rudeness, it's the one thing that used to make my blood boil when mine were teens! I would remind them that I did a lot to make their lives easier - money, lifts, paying for phone, having their friends over, buying new football boots etc etc - and that I don't HAVE to do those things and would not be doing them for anyone who is rude or disrespectful to me. Always said in a calm manner, no shouting but saying it like you mean it - and be prepared to follow through. It does sink in. I would also walk away and refuse to engage until they spoke to me politely.

Parenting teens is a lot more negotiation and less laying down the law, it's a big adjustment! Remember the aim is for them to be given the chance to make decisions, but also make mistakes and learn from them. They won't always get it right but they do come out the other side and become likeable again!

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Pixiedust49 · 26/02/2026 23:08

My once delightful polite daughter is now rude, arrogant and disrespectful. It breaks my heart.

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