This is going to be long so I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to read it 😆 the news today about the failings in maternity services doesn’t surprise me one bit, there are some horrific stories out there and mine are tame in comparison but they are also my experience that I wanted to share.
First baby I was 24 years old. Normal vaginal delivery, it all went smoothly as far as births go apart from going on for 18 hours, I had a trainee midwife and she was lovely, the senior midwife, not so much. She was clearly very agitated and snappy with not just her colleagues but myself also. I was frightened, didn’t know what was happening, was stuck on the bed with monitors strapped to my bump and just needed to get off the bloody bed. I was begging for an epidural, sobbing, it was in my birth plan which my husband was telling the senior midwife and was repeatedly told it was too late. I was only 6cm at this point but wanted to throw myself out the window.
Eventually I got the epidural, and I always remember why, I felt an insane pressure and being relatively young and inexperienced I thought this meant I had to push, I told my midwife this who then said, push then, obviously nothing happened and when I next had my cervix checked it was swollen, the senior midwife was called in who stated “well she’ll have to have one now won’t she” in a really pissed off tone of voice. She really made me feel so stupid.
One midwife on the ward wasn’t much nicer, she told me off for picking my baby up. Again, felt stupid and just couldn’t wait to go home.
My second birth was the same hospital, I was 32 and I had a planned c section, baby came a week early so it was an emergency section but everyone was so lovely, I wasn’t pushed into a vaginal delivery, they just did it. All the midwife’s on the ward were really nice ladies.
My third baby I was 34, different hospital and was advised to have another section due to a small gap between the babies and risk of uterine rupture. Baby came early again and this was when I was really not listened too. I asked at every midwife appointment what would happen if the baby came earlier than expected again, will I still have a c section or will I be pushed/made to delivery vaginally, I was reassured every time that that would not be the case, just turn up at the hospital the minute you start having contractions and you will have the c section as planned.
I got to the hospital about 7pm on the Sunday evening after contracting for a couple of hours, I was in triage and waiting for a surgeon to arrive. My contractions were all over the place, every 5 mins, 20 mins, 10 mins, back to 20 etc but each time they were more and more painful. When doctor arrived she told me she wouldn’t be delivering my baby that night because it was only her there, and if an emergency came in she wouldn’t be able to tend to it, which I understood. So the plan was to be admitted to the ward, and wait for the other doctors to arrive for the morning shift and then I’d be taken to theatre, things really ramped up over the next couple of hours, contractions were coming thick and fast, I was all alone on this ward with nobody else there and only checked on when I pressed the buzzer, I was petrified the baby was going to come whilst dh was sleeping in his car in the car park (they told him he couldn’t stay) they called the surgeon down to see me as i was making such a fuss, she put me on a monitor, babies heart rate dropped twice whilst having contractions, so again Im calling the buzzer, was told if it happens one more time they’ll take me into surgery, luckily it didn’t happen again. It’s now about 7pm in the morning and I’m still just freaking out in agony, had no sleep obviously and just in a right state wanting it all to stop. A new senior midwife had taken over the shift and she was evil, she refused to check me, I had a thread going on here and everyone had said I needed to demand to be checked, which I was so proud of myself for, I remember saying it was my body and my right to have my cervix checked if I thought I needed to, she was telling me I have to wait for a doctor before I can check you, wtf why?! In the end I threatened to make a formal complaint and she finally checked me, guess what ? I’m 7cm and in established labour (no shit) I was then asked by her if I was really sure I wanted a c section and just try a normal birth. I stood my ground, said no thank you I want to do what’s been planned the whole time. Suddenly within the next ten mins i’m gowned up and a surgeon is there, these doctors appeared pretty bloody fast that I’d been waiting over 14 hours for ! She was now telling me if when I get into theatre they find the baby is too far down the birth canal they will have to assist me giving birth. I was furious as the baby wouldn’t have been so far down the birth canal if I hadn’t been ignored all night and I really didn’t want that kind of intervention!
It’s not over yet, when I get into there I’m literally about to have the spinal when I’m told I have to wait again as an emergency has come in, I just wanted to die at this point, the pain and exhaustion was too much, I spent another 2 hours in the next room basically trying to cross my legs 😆 oh I also had to have my bladder manually drained which was just another perk!! The only good part was the pethidine when I was finally given something other than cocodamol. I finally had my baby via c section and I just blocked it all out.
But It was a really horrible experience, (I know some women have had much much worse) it really bothered me for a while afterwards, I was not listened to at all, I wasn’t treated with any dignity, just like I was a pain in their arse basically ! Why are we made to feel like we are dramatising ? Being annoying ? Putting it on ?
Does anyone else want to share their stories?