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Pull Ups for elderly Mum

15 replies

Fushia123 · 25/02/2026 17:04

Our lovely mum is 90 and has was diagnosed with dementia last year. She is cared for by my two sisters and I and we have 3 hours paid care each week. She lives in her own home but needs lots of daily help with everything. We take her out as often as possible.
Over the past few months, her continence has declined and she is having many accidents daily. We have seen the continence nurse who suggested much bigger and thicker pads, and a regular timetable for going to the toilet. We have tried both of these things and when we are there it’s relatively OK but she can’t manage when by herself and has a huge amount of wet clothes to be washed daily. She is also reluctant to be ‘advised’ to go to the toilet too - her way of trying to be independent. It makes taking her to her regular groups, and even coming out to our houses much more difficult than it’s ever been. Regular showers are also a problem and she smells on some days.
I think it would be worth trying pull ups but am at a loss about where to start to look for suitable ones and also who would pay as her Attends pads are presently paid for. I’d be most grateful to any wise mumsnetters who know more to advise me. Thank you.

OP posts:
thesandwich · 25/02/2026 17:09

can I suggest you ask for this to be moved to the elderly parent board? Lots of knowledge there. Could you ask the continence nurse what else they can provide?
is she getting all the financial support she is entitled to- discount in co7ncil tax, attendance allowance etc?

Fushia123 · 25/02/2026 17:14

Thanks for your reply. Yes, I’ve posted in there too. Yes, she has both of those.

OP posts:
24Dogcuddler · 25/02/2026 17:16

A good site to use is incontinence choice. They sell everything she would need. Pads for the bed are good or you can use puppy pads.

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MsSmartShoes · 25/02/2026 17:18

My grandma finds the Lidl ones to be good value and not horribly bulky. Her mobility isn’t great (in a wheelchair for anything out of her room) and she can manage them by herself.

MsSmartShoes · 25/02/2026 17:19

Also - sitting on a towel helps protect furniture- try and choose colours to match the fabric.

Kevinbaconsrealwife · 25/02/2026 17:23

my elderly dad went through pretty much the same thing through the course of last year…we use the viracare range , super plus and the size range is good too….we also used puppy pads underneath a towel in his bed and fave chair….it makes a huge difference just washing one or 2 towels instead of layers of bedding etc…..bless you….really feel for you….dads in a lovely care home now bless him xx

Sprig1 · 25/02/2026 17:32

I am only here to say that I initially thought this was about your elderly Mum doing pull ups! That would be very impressive.

Rocknrollstar · 25/02/2026 17:44

DM wore Tena. Social Services sent us one pack of 30 per month. We had to pay for the rest. We bought special pads to go on top of the sheet in her bed. Are you claiming attendance allowance?

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 25/02/2026 17:50

My DM used to wear Tena pull ups but now wears the Aldi version. They are a fraction of the price and are just as good.

Lightuptheroom · 25/02/2026 19:14

My dad had sheets similar to puppy pads (they're often called Kylies) which cuts down on anything going on the furniture and they're washable. Other than that you can ask for a reassessment or ask the inconvenience service to pay towards different pads and you pay the 'top up' my dad also used to wear almost like mesh pants (he had an indwelling catheter as well) which seemed to keep everything in place and reduced leaking.

AnneBoleynsNecklace · 25/02/2026 21:59

My dm preferred the Sainsbury own make ones.

Pekkala · 25/02/2026 22:12

Aldi Sana - around £4 a pack

unsync · 25/02/2026 22:34

Just wanted to say be aware of any changes in behaviour. Incontinence can make elderly women in particular prone to UTIs.

Fushia123 · 26/02/2026 09:39

Thank you everyone for your advice. I will share your ideas with my sisters and hopefully improve things.
Do you think that meds for dementia can make incontinence worse?

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