Do you know your personal relationship pattern?

[ClawsandEffect]

Mine is 10 years. I experience a longer than usual honeymoon phase (between 3 & 5 years). Then I start to lose the urge to initiate sex. Then get into a sexual rut. Start over focusing on work (I think as a distraction). It's all downhill from there really. By the time I hit 10 years in the relationship, I should really walk away. I never do. Should know better really. 10 years is all I can manage.

It's always me that has to end the relationship though. No matter how shit it's become.

How old are you, unless you are at least 50 you have not had time to establish a pattern, and three is statistically negible as a pattern anyway.

It's definitely a pattern. So much so, that in my last relationship, about a year in, I thought... if this one dies a death at the 10 year mark, I'm not doing it again. Recognising that I clearly can't maintain a relationship past 10 years EVEN if I stay in it for longer.

Not sure how many 10 year relationships any one person could tolerate in a lifetime? They'd have to have a lot more stamina than me, that's for sure!

Maybe it us about expectations, compromise and accepting that it is useful to grow and adapt with the relationship as it progresses.

Find someone I liked, found interesting, had a lot of fun with and loved when I was 20. Carry on with that for (so far)40 years. The order is significant!

Not personal, but a work one. It will be ok until year 7, then I'm done.

But @Orangepate is right about your numbers being likely to be far too small to establish anything so definite as a ‘pattern’ of ten year relationships. How many of these have you had?

Three. Same pattern. Sort of 7 year itch, but 10 years instead.

Maybe the relationships are just unfulfilling because of basic incompatibilities that the honeymoon period eclipsed, or they're just not that great partners once they've got comfy and complacent? I don't know why it just has to be a "you" problem.

No, and I'm not too sure why it matters?

Sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I don't think I have a relationship pattern.

How long they lasted, how I felt, depended on how compatible we were and general life circumstances.

Been with DH for over twenty years now.

Longest relationship prior to him was about two years.