Facial Asymmetry & Microsoft Teams

[TheMostHolySunflower]

I know I have a degree of facial asymmetry, I'd say slightly more so than most people. I don't consider myself particularly ugly though and am generally happy with my appearance in the mirror or on photos. However, when I'm on teams and watch the recording back (something I have to do as part of my job, I don't watch recordings off my own back!!) , one eye looks significantly lower than the other. The image is not mirrored, but will be how other people see me.

Does that mean that because I usually look at myself in the mirror, my mirror image is better looking than the reality? Is Teams exaggerating it? Is it all in my head?

It's something that really bugs me, because I feel confident most of the time until I see my own face on Teams specifically. Anyone else?

Me! I had never noticed until Teams, now I am very conscious of the fact that I definitely have an asymmetrical face and one looks better than the other.

Is it the angle of the camera exaggerating the difference? Looking down into a laptop camera isn't a flattering approach for anyone!

There's an option in camera settings to flip the image horizontally - not sure what it defaults to but it could be you're seeing your face flipped the opposite way to a mirror. Try toggling it the other way and see if that helps.

I have a squinty eye (as does my sister 😂) which is more obvious when tired and the bridge of my nose leans one way. I accidentally noticed it on shared screen YEARS ago when we all mainly worked remotely at Covid.

your question is - should I feel others see me differently than I think I’m seen? No.

why do I say this? Well I’ve lived it 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ A girl I had worked closely with who was in tech procurement (I’m a tech lawyer in the same business) literally walked past me in the foyer after 2 years of working together and being on calls every day! And NO I don’t do greasy bun hair and a hoody over zoom due to my role. When I said her name and stopped her, she just couldn’t hide her SHOCK at seeing me in person and she was such a down to earth girl she kept saying how pretty I am and how I didn’t look how she expected, without being very subtle. (I’m not some stunner by the way, but I know I of give off “classy clean dark haired smart girl” Amal Clooney, Catherine Zeta Jones vibes 😂)

Anyway - don’t feel ugly or start using the darn beauty filter. Some people look great in photos and grim in real life - can’t have it all! 💗💗💗💗💗

You usually only see yourself in a mirror, and so you're just used to it. It isn't any deeper than that.

If it's any consolation, everyone else on the teams call will undoubtedly be looking at themselves more than they are looking at you, and thinking "Christ, do I really look like that?"
I have to flip my image so I don't freak myself out about how I 'really' look to everyone else.

Thanks everyone 🙏🏻 I flip my image too, but when you watch recordings back then it presents it the other way!

I think lighting has played a part, one side of my face is rounder and the other more angular but the light situation (which I can't change too much due to limited desk space for a lamp) seems to put the angular side in more shadow so it seems to exaggerate the differences! I was also super tired yesterday so wasn't looking my best, plus tired brain is more negative. I do wonder whether seeing yourself so often on Teams isn't great for mental health..!

There were news articles during Covid about how looking at our own faces all day is depressing.
I love it when customers don’t turn the video on as it means I don’t have to and don’t have to look at myself.
Also if I’m leading a meeting I always share a slide, even if it’s not particularly relevant, so my face is only small!
It’s not your face OP, it’s the same for everyone.

And this is why I refuse to have my camera on if people want this form of communication.
It is like staring at yourself in the hairdresser’s mirror for ages but worse.

This! Never see yourself as other people do - it makes for a terrible shock. I always use the mirror image toggle.

I noticed myself pulling an expression yesterday in a long meeting that reduced my forhead wrinkles - maybe that’s a good thing?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think a lot of it will be that your brain is super-tuned-in to the differences from what is normal to you. You don't have an aesthetically pleasing side and a less aesthetically pleasing side, it's just what your brain is expecting vs what it's not. It's highly evolved to look for subtle indicators of differences - friend or foe, one of us or one of them.

Our work policy is cameras on for all meetings 😐but sometimes if one participant's internet is bad, we all turn the cameras off and I definitely feel more relaxed!

Along those lines, my theory is that your brain is probably used to “correcting” some asymmetry. So if it’s used to seeing your left eye lower, it will kind of autocorrect it so it sees both eyes more aligned. So when you flip, the “autocorrection” goes the other way, ie it will take the already higher right eye and try to make it even higher!

No idea if that’s really the case, just something I thought of after my first cataract surgery. Everything looked a lot bluer in the newly corrected eye. The ophthalmologist explained my brain had been correcting the yellowness from the cataract for so long that it needed a bit of time to adapt and stop adding a blue tinge to everything in that eye.

I had a frozen half of a face for a bit (Lyme disease) and I’m really aware of the asymmetry it’s left behind although it’s not really there in the mirror. I’ve found that nice glasses ( don’t need a prescription but quite light sensitive eyes so anti glare helps/ is a good excuse). A strong lip colour. I think it gives people something to focus on that is not the slight wonkiness of my face.