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I feel so lonely and lost

5 replies

Primrose76 · 24/02/2026 19:29

Single for 6 years, no kids. Very little family, one member I'm close to but they live far away. A few friends but all busy with their partners and young families. Live alone.
I feel like I just exist and have done for years. I'm currently part time at work due to surgery a month ago and I dont know what to do on my days off. Yes probably depressed but have had 20 years of nhs and private medications and none of it has helped long term. I just feel so lonely and like my life is pointless.

OP posts:
Sally333 · 24/02/2026 19:32

Sorry you’re feeling this way. Is there any interests you have or groups you could join to get yourself out there? Everyone finds it difficult, even those with partners/kids struggle to find some me time. Go easy on yourself & find something you like to do & channel your energy into that. Spring is coming so the evenings are getting longer for getting out & walking/exercising etc if you are able after your surgery. Hope you’re recovering ok & be kind to yourself ❤️

misssunshine4040 · 24/02/2026 19:34

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I have been there too.
Would you be able to do some volunteer work on your day off? Nothing demanding or even every week but that’s a good way of meeting new people and doing something rewarding.

Could you start a hobby ? What sort of things do you enjoy? Could you study part time so you can learn something new and gain new skills?

Please hang in there, it gets better but you have to go looking for the answers and put yourself out there and try stuff x

24Dogcuddler · 24/02/2026 19:35

I’m sorry you are feeling like this. You are bound to feel worse after surgery. The weather has been pretty vile too.
Spring is on the way. Will you be able to get out and about more? Any hobbies or interests where you might meet people.
Could you offer to babysit for friends? Change of scene?
Hope you start to feel a bit more positive soon.

suki1964 · 24/02/2026 20:00

This is going to sound so twee and awful, but it worked for me

I stopped dwelling what I had missing from my life and started filling it with stuff I wanted to do

The wonderful thing about being single is - no one to please but yourself

So I went out for Sunday lunch - alone . Was daunting the first few times but then smart phones became the norm and a flick through face book between courses helped

I started going to the cinema , esp to see NTL productions , I could pick what I wanted to watch, and really emerge myself

I am a solitary person , I loved being single ( now married ) and I miss the solitude ( Ive coping mechanisms in place for having to live as a couple ) of being single

It is hard taking that first step to socialising as a single , but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. I also learned to smile and talk to everyone I met - a check out operator - good morning, how are you today? Been busy? Idle chit chat BUT eventually you get to know names, you get a hiya how's you today, you get waved at in the street , the bus driver - everyone I come across I say hello how's things or similar , and you do get chit chat back

You have days off from work - get out there - use them. Try something different , have a look on the community forums for your area and see what's happening. Knit and natter? so what you cant knit, buy a pair of needles or a hook and a ball of yarn and turn up - you are there for the natter - someone will teach you how to knit . Dont fancy a C25K ? have a look at where the local walks are - usually a gentle 5k and coffee and cake

There's a load of lonely people out there , those that want to change it get out there and join in whatever is available . I never knew I would become a serious walker when I decided to make up numbers to help a charity by doing a fun run , now I hike mountains and am planning a Camino

Book a spa weekend , or a day spa . Take a bus or train to a different town , walk in and buy coffee, go into a restaurant and order and eat a meal. Go to a bar and enjoy a cocktail . Go to a table quiz, to an open mic - There's just so much out there , you just need to grab the bull by the horns and get out there and try it

I do have medicated severe anxiety but it's worse with the less interaction I have with other people. I force myself sometimes as I know when Im beginning to isolate and withdraw and I know how low that takes me

greenrabbit100 · 24/02/2026 21:39

I agree with @suki1964. I’m single, no DC, in my 50s it’s not how I imagined life would be when I was younger. But it’s fine, it’s more than fine. I do as Suki has suggested and have done for years now. I work out what I want to do, what I want to see in life and do it, with or without friends. The more you do the bolder you get and the happier you feel.

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