If you home educate, do you think parents those who send their children to school are misguided?

[mistyhills]

Just interested. We go to a weekly outdoor forest playgroup and it is run by someone who home educates so a lot of families who go are home educated. I always wonder if they think I’m a really bad parent for sending mine to school!

No absolutely not, but for me it wasn’t a choice as much as a necessity (MH reasons) I don’t think one is superior to the other, we are all just doing the best we can to meet our kids needs.

Is it OK for non-home-ed to participate (not a snarky comment, would like to join in but don't want to overstep).

Some will. I had a lady tell me I should take my dd out of school because it was wasting her time she could be playing the violin … go figure, my dd managed to get grade 8 violin, attend school (mostly, another story), piano, clarinet, singing … she’s autistic and needed the structure of school even in its adapted form plus she drove me crazy!!!

Not at all, many children thrive in a school environment and if yours is one of those that’s fantastic. My DD is out of school at the moment, I’d dearly love her to be able go and participate with her peers but that’s not possible for her just now. Why would you think it’s a failure to send your child to school?

No, I had one child who thrived at school, and one who it had a very detrimental effect on (both autistic, with different additional needs). It very much depends on the child, the family and the school.

No. You do what works for you, we do what works for us.

@Jellycatspyjamas i suppose I think it’s a bit different if the child isn’t coping in school but if a family make an active choice to home educate I suppose the assumption is that it is better if done by an enthusiastic parent, which I am not!

I have 2 ND kids and we are permanently on the cusp of homeschooling as they struggle daily. I would obviously love it if they didn't and am a bit jealous of parents whose kids thrive or even cope well in school 🤷‍♀️

Of course I wouldn't change my 2 for the world but school just isn't a good fit for them... Everyone is different. No judgement.

No I think they are lucky their kids can access mainstream! Three of mine couldn’t so had to be home educated. It’s hard.

No.
In the kindest way possible, I don’t give a shiny shit what other people with their kids (neglect / abuse notwithstanding ofc).

I had one totally ‘natural’ water birth, breastfed, baby-wore, coslept and now home educate.
I also had one elective section, use loads of screen time, eat UPFs and vaccinate.

Home education is just one facet of my various parenting choices.

Ime there are a few home ed families like that, but not very many - usually those who chose home ed as a lifestyle and never started school rather than those who left it through trauma, interestingly.

There are lots of home ed families with one child at school and one home ed, or who have gone in and out of the education system trying to find a good fit - home ed primary and re-joining school at secondary is also very common.

I'd say that if you don't seem to have any interest in your child's education and/or general wellbeing beyond the legal minimum of meeting basic needs then you will get judged, but I don't think that would be unique to home ed parents, school parents would judge that too! And because you are at a forest school you are already obviously doing more than just feeding/clothing them and assuming school will cover everything else.

I seem to be being bombarded on Facebook with quite extreme pro home schooling and unschooling posts calling schools "child prisons" and similar.

It's refreshing on here to see that many home schoolers are more open minded about other people's choices.

I think that’s what I worry about @GreenBananaSmoothie , given that as far as I know they are home educating through active choice rather than special needs or similar.

Thanks @BestZebbie - I do try but always feel I could do more.

I always wonder if they think I’m a really bad parent for sending mine to school!

If you want to be a good parent, you need to stop giving a shit about what other think of your perfectly normal parental choices.

That's how I feel too. But I am also grateful that home ed is an option.

We home ed and I would never negatively judge someone for sending their child to school. Home education is just another parenting choice and we will all have slightly different choices for our families. I don't see it any differently from people choosing different types of school (private, state etc). What is right for one family, isn't necessarily right for another.

I don’t think home education is automatically the better choice. Some kids will thrive at home, others really benefit from the structure, peer relationships and experiences that school brings that can’t easily be replicated at home.

I think the best parent is the one who is responsive to their child’s needs, whatever those needs may be.

I’m not HEing out of choice and wouldn’t judge you at all.
Through HE I have got to know others, bizarrely mostly ex teachers, who feel that school is the very devil for most children. I have similar strong views for ND children but at the same time I wish my son was happy and thriving in school!

Not really… maybe a little in that a lot of people think that it’s the only way and definitely the best way and somehow by attending school all children will come out of it well with good qualifications (despite a good chunk of kids obviously not coming out with 5 A*-C or equivalent) .

DD1 couldn’t go to school, if we tried it would be a disaster but I get the impression that an awful lot of people think if she just went to school she’d have learned XYZ but we know from her nursery experience that she’d be too stressed to take anything in even if she wanted to. DS knew more “academically” by the ages we pull DD out despite him never having been taught AND having much less interested in being taught and a speech delay making it much harder to back and forth. Were extreme end of things though I’m aware.

I do wish we could do school in some capacity but not like mainstream state school. I don’t think it’s all good or all bad.

Perhaps you didn’t mean this aggressively but it came over this way.

I don’t ’give a shit’, especially, but it’s something I’ve wondered from time to time and since I can’t really ask them, I asked here. If I really gave a shit I probably wouldn’t go in the first place, would I?

It’s interesting (and sad ) how May on this thread would like to send their children to school but can’t

But why are you even thinking about what parents who make different choices think of you?

Do you feel the same about the clothes you dress your DC in, the haircuts you give them, the toys they play with, the books they read?

Plus, what difference will the answers make anyway since they won't be from the particular parents you're talking about?

@Naws , if you don’t like the thread just move on (or if you really feel it breaks TGs in some way report it, although I’m lost on what grounds.)

@mistyhillsi large chunk of my anger with the gov plans for “improving” the send crisis is that no part of the plan includes making or accessing more schools that would actually suit my kids. Shoving them in an “inclusion” class in a giant school with many demands/transitions won’t work. A small flexible childled school part time probably would. They happily go to a forest school, I’d like if they had a roof and were taught to read and more numeracy because I have plenty in my plate already but alas I have to be content with it just giving me a bit a of breathing room to keep spinning all the plates

Why do you think I don't like the thread?

I think it's you who doesn't like my replies.

Are you just looking for an echo chamber?

Are there Children who can manage in school homeschooled? I thought it was a choice made out of necessity.