School trip abroad for hapless 13yo DS- help!

[Acunningruse]

13 yo DS is academically gifted but struggles hugely with executive function (awaiting assessment for autism/ADHD). He goes on a school trip abroad in a month and we had the parents meeting yesterday which brought home the enormity of it.

What can we do to help him cope? Have visions of him losing all his money and possessions on the first day 🙈

The last abroad trip I went on I had my groups money in my safe and they came to me every breakfast for the money they wanted that day.

Does he want to go on this trip?

My DS 16yrs (autism diagnosed) is in Transition Yr in Ireland and there are a lot of school trips available covering a variety of interests, but he refuses to go on them. He’s managed the 1 day Barista training course so far.

We’re planning a family trip to the UK in April to enable him to do his second week’s work experience but he refuses to travel without being accompanied, so I’m flying there with him but leaving him in the capable hands of his oldest brother once we arrive.

I never went on any school trips either as I didn’t fancy being stuck with the other kids from class so I can’t say I blame him.

What kind of trip is it? Where are they staying - hotel or other? How are they travelling? I'd be tempted to ask for a meeting or phone call with the Trip Leader to discuss your concerns.

As a ADHD mother he will become. Write everything down, prepare him to ask a teacher for help if needed and I bet he will cope and come back feeling proud of himself.

Put some sort of identifier on his suitcase - a coloured ribbon tied round the handle works well. So many look much the same.

First of all, I know you will prepare him fully and he will rise to the occasion so don’t over worry. I’ve take many secondary school ski trips abroad and kids of all abilities have done marvelously well and have enjoyed the responsibility. Has he chosen a room mate, if the teachers are sorting rooms then make contact and ask for a supportive/understanding friend. Pack a simple spare wash kit and tell him to leave it in his bag (or put it in an integral pouch if there is one in suitcase) as I’ve lost count of number of kids with lost toothbrush etc. For a week long trip then some parents would pack clothes in sets in clear labeled bags - this worked well for skiing as quick and easy to identify clean clothes. Pack a dirty laundry bag which hopefully will get used. A few favourite snacks particularly if not easy to buy where he is going. If going to a YH or similar then make sure he can put a duvet cover on, sounds mad but it’s not an easy thing if never done it before. A laminated list of all valuable kit you send with him and be sure to attach this to inside of his case along with a marker pen; he must be there when you are packing his kit too as this will give him the first good view of everything going into his bag. A spare water bottle if he has space as these are easy to loose especially if a full on busy trip. Definitely touch base with trip leader and discuss any concerns and confirm they will be looking after passports. I’m sure he will have a lovely time.

They do. And have photo copies.

Two of my children the teachers, both go on school trips every year. They will know your child, they will know what additional needs they have and the best way to help them. Don’t worry your child will be fine.

My son has ASD and DCD. He’s in year 9 now and we’ve done 3 school trips abroad.

I really second tbe zip lock bags suggestion. We’ve done this with DS each time. We did one for each day with all his clothes including pants, socks , snack bar and money for the day in an envelope marked up so he’s had a small amount of euros incase he loses his card. Marked the bag with day 1, day 2 etc and made sure that DS put the stuff in the bags himself so he knew where everything was. That way there’s only a small amount of stuff loose each day.

Told him to put dirty stuff each day back into the zip lock which mainly he did!

We also made sure he had the bare minimum with him to avoid overwhelm with a small room and lots of kids stuff and that his bag had a red tag on so he could find it easily in the sea of black sports bags!

When he turned 13 we put Apple Pay on his phone.

Each time he’s taken all his coach journey stuff in a small rucksack with cards, snacks etc and a small pencil case with his charger etc in. But he’s taken a small cross body bag each time as well with just wallet and phone in so on the journeys could leave the rucksack in the bus and just take phone and wallet with him to service stations etc plus then for days out he had the option.

We also put his reusable water bottle in his bag for refilling each day but gave him a 1 litre plastic disposable water for the journey out so he didn’t lose his water bottle before he even got there.

He's done great every time and it’s done wonders for his confidence.

I hope your DS has a fab time!

These are the bags we used
40 Pcs Ziplock Bags, 20 * 16 Inch... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CMTT3JC8?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Don’t over pack, choice is overwhelming.
My ds didn’t wear half what he brought away and neither did his NT brothers.
The teachers will manage all the transitions and arrangements so don’t worry about that, he will follow the pack. A jacket with lots of pockets for phone, cash, earphones/plugs.
(I wouldn’t do ziplock bags for a 13 yr old unless necessary)

Agree

AirTags are the apple brand ones but there are various others which link to other phones.
One other thing, talk through with your DS where he will keep various items in the accom. Work on the basis that it’s going to be dorm style with bunks and they’ll be having to squish their bags under the bottom bunk. So, for example, if he’s in the top bunk, where will he put his phone so it’s accessible but safe? Where will he keep his wash bag? Remind him to hang up his towel & coat and that sort of thing

Rather than a bag maybe give him a money belt type thing to carry stuff around during the day so he will wear it all the time and not put it down somewhere?

I packed pants and socks in clear packing cubes, tshirt in another etc. Plus a big plastic bag for dirty clothes.
Minimal things to take with them.
I would ask the teachers about what they can do to help given his challenges.
Agree definitely don’t let him know you are anxious.
He will be ok. It’s a good learning experience for them.

Will the school not keep all passports together? I doubt pupils that age will be left in charge of them.

When my DC with ASN has gone on a trip I've had meetings with the class teacher in advance to discuss potential issues and solutions. That, along with the good advice you've had here, should help prepare your DS and put your mind at rest.

He will be fine. Send as little in value things as possible, a money belt might be worth it if he’ll wear it, ask if you can hand in money to a teacher if you are really concerned. Passports usually are held by the teacher. Consider a cheap camera rather than a phone - many schools prefer they don’t have phones. School are experienced in managing trips, he isn’t the first to be like he is (we just didn’t used to give it names other than chaotic or scatty). My dd always chose to hang out with the staff to be honest, she got particularly lucky on a trip to London as her favourite teacher came who was getting married and let dd go shopping with her for wedding shoes rather than the 3 hours free time all the students had to spend in Covent Garden (dd was able to repay her kindness by playing at her wedding, dd is a musician)