School trip abroad for hapless 13yo DS- help!

[Acunningruse]

13 yo DS is academically gifted but struggles hugely with executive function (awaiting assessment for autism/ADHD). He goes on a school trip abroad in a month and we had the parents meeting yesterday which brought home the enormity of it.

What can we do to help him cope? Have visions of him losing all his money and possessions on the first day 🙈

Get him a bag - phone and money in there. Always have it on you.

Get the hotel address, and put it in his phone. Put a printout in his wallet.

If there is a contact number for school, get that in his phone - school have a "trip mobile" whise number is handed out to the kids on school trips, and is answered by staff on the trip at all times.

Make sure he knows what hus suitcase looks like - ideally not black!

He'll be fine. The teachers will know who needs a slightly more careful eye on them.

Look on the bright side, if he looses his PP (my ADHD DS has this habit) it will be someone else’s problem to fix.

Prepare him as best you can, and then enjoy the rest while he’s away.

I used to really stress about this stuff until I realised DS didn’t care at all. If he lost his passport/phone/keys/laptop/entire bag he would just cope perfectly well without them. He never got stressed about any of it. 😆

to be honest? do all the things suggested about addresses, phone, money etc.

But do the teachers know? if i were a teacher i doubt I'd want him on the trip with me if i thought he was going to suck up all my resources getting him out of a fix.

Tell him to keep his money on him and not in his bag when travelling.

There should be a safe at the accommodation so the kids don't have to take all their money out every day.

Thank you for all these helpful tips. Im a bit surprised @Brefugee that you seem to be suggesting pupils with additional needs shouldn’t have access to trips abroad? His teachers are aware that he is awaiting diagnosis but on a day-to-day basis ie in school he copes extremely well. Its new environments and being out of routine that will be difficult for him.

You can ask me anything about the post-Brexit import rules after AuDHD’s DD’s last overseas trip with school.

(Cost me about £80 and 100 hours I’ll never get back to recover the things she left behind, including her brand new school coat.)

She doesn’t go anywhere without a packing list now and she ticks items off. I’m not sure she would be so attentive to that now had she not had the stomach-turning realisation when it was too late to go back and get them.

Honestly lots of kids with these issues go abroad and teachers are aware of the extra support they need.
I got my inattentive adhd kids post office cards and put money on that. you can then top it up if he needs more.
I also have adhd and we lost the cards in the house after the trips … I just rang the post office they moved the money back to my bank card.
surely teachers hang on to the kids passports?

Send him with cheap stuff he can loose.

(daughter with adhd)

When DD went on a school trip to France t 12 another pupils Mum gave the teacher envelopes with small amount of cash in to be given to the child on the date on the front rather than have him manage it.

Teacher know what they are doing. Every item labelled with his name and the teachers emergency mobile number / ask for this each teacher will have an emergency school mobile - not a personal mobile. Take only a cheap phone with his labelled again with his name eg J smith and the teachers emergency number. Minimise stuff. Wallet again with his name on goes to teacher. They will help him and look after money and phone. Plug in earphones (cheap ones) and spare pair in suitcase.

cheap clothes spare coat in suitcase.

You might be surprised. Have an itemised list of stuff in suitcase eg 5 pairs of pants, 5 pairs of socks, 3 t shirts- take less clothes than you need. Everything replaceable.

Honestly my adhd 13 year old went on scout camp to the back and beyond with over 500 other scouts and and apart from forgetting spare shoes (which we dropped off) he insisted on packing it all himself and he came back with everything apart from one sock and that was nearly 2 weeks. UNO is always good too.

You have had good advice on here already. I just wanted to add don’t let DS see you’re worried. I have a colleague who is very anxious about things like school trips (although different to you as no good reason to be) and the DC has picked up on this so now is a total state before any trip as is the mother making the whole thing stressful for no reason.

Also as an adhd person I lose lists … so now I set myself up with a to do list on WhatsApp (I just set up a group and don’t add anyone).
So you could set up a WhatsApp packing list for him.
For my adhd daughter before overseas school trip I did a list of what she needed to do each morning before she left accommodation for the day - I did this for each day as some activities needed different things. And then I sent the relevant day info in a text the night before. Just bullet points do easy to read.

Teacher normally takes all passports in before and give it to the teacher before the trip one less thing to forget!

Forgot to say suitcase needs a distinct pattern eg and labelled tag inside and out. We got some bright fluorescent tape and put a huge X on each side and he said that was really really helpful! X marks the spot.

My DGS went to Europe for 5 days with the music group he was in at 11 . He was only in year six at primary school , all the others were 13 to 15 and there was a couple of adults with them . His mum packed his rucksack with all he needed, clothes , toiletries and snacks . Meals were paid in with the cost of the trips .
he was a very fussy eater and it turned out he survived on toast and chips . He had a ball! He also came home with a bag full of clean clothes . Apparently it hadn’t occurred to him to get changed so wore the same stuff every day 🤣.

don't be chippy. I am suggesting that i wouldn'T want to take them if they were going to suck up all my time. There need to be enough staff, and aware of your son's issues if he is going to participate.

Where are they going?

I used to put a packing list in DS bag as he was a disaster as a teen and label everything even his phone chargers. He’s now living independently in Oz so he did improve .

Are they actually allowed phones on the trip???

So I had these exact concerns with my son. Something that was super useful was that I put a T-shirt, shorts, underwear and socks into a ziplock/Shein zip bag for every day he was away. Plus some extras. I also bought him a new toiletry bag with all the bits in it. I warned him upon death about daily showers and tooth brushing twice a day. I also spoke to the teachers quietly to ask them to remind them about staying clean etc. He took a phone but only used WiFi. I was so worried but actually did amazing well. He said the ziplocks of clothes really helped him.

Some excellent ideas on this thread already .

I felt like you when DS15 withADHD went to South Korea on a trip - I was amazed at how well he coped , the fact that he didn’t lose his PP especially when advised he was going to have to look after it himself the entire trip (I had visions of it getting lost at departure airport) and I thought he would come home without his headphones or chargers etc and the only thing he “lost” was a power bank .

Not sure where yours is going and “rules” from your organisers about money but my DS had a Starling card which was easy to transfer money to, out spending limits on /change spending limits easily /block cash point /unblock cash point/ freeze card as thought lost etc

I hope he has a lovely trip

This is my DS too!
He already has air tags in his coat and rucksack so, if they got get lost, at least I’ll still be able to tell him where they are and see if we can come up with a plan to retrieve them even if I can’t actually go & get them.
As a PP has said, we put each day’s outfit in a separate carrier bag as that makes it easier for him to keep track of what he’s wearing.
No favourite items get to go on the trip!
They’re going by coach rather than flying so I am sending him with a spare pair of cheap AirPods as he is bound to lose one but he will enjoy the journey much more (and so will everyone else!) if he can listen to music
I am tempted with a spare battery pack to as the chances of him remembering to charge things might be low!
Pack a couple of things he can fidgit with (not fidget toys as such in DS’ case but something he can quietly do with his hands)
Pack a tennis ball so that they can have a quick game of something whenever they get a moment and it is safe to do so.
My experience is that staff seem to be pretty good at taking a look around a venue before they leave and making sure that there aren’t any items left. Likewise, they always seem to go above & beyond in sorting out any issues. I’d just rather not create any issues!
DS can be exuberant, naturally. Teachers are aware that he might be the one who pushes over the line but that it will be done out of impulsivity/excitement rather than malice and they are good at reminding him to quieten down. I keep reminding him to be polite, be grateful and channel some of the energy in being helpful. If they need someone to run back to the accom and collect something or to do the dishes even though it’s not your group’s turn,
do it. And if they are asking him to do it, it’s not because they are picking on him but because they can see he’d benefit from running back to the accom to get this item or whatever.
Try and check in with himself and if he needs some time by himself. Or if he needs to give them some time. 13 & 14yo boys, with or without ADHD, can be a bit much and a bit in your face at times, especially if you’re tired.
Your DS may well impress you. Mine usually does. And staff usually comment on how good he is at being the first to get stuck into activities etc so I hang onto that compliment and don’t ask questions about how many times they had to remind him to listen as I know they would tell me if there was an issue.

My DD went abroad work school in year 8 and the teachers looked after the children's money if they wanted them to, is that an option? And they kept all of the passports together for the whole trip. She packed outfits by day in ziplock bags so make things easier. Make sure his bag is recognisable and perhaps use an air tag so you can keep track of it!

I make mine a travel file in a book style file with plastic pockets. I type sheets with important details - travel times, addresses, contact details, may be copy passport, extra cash. They know where to look then and they like it.

And you could consider using Apple airtags or similar to track his suitcase, backpack, jacket etc

AuADHD child. Many school and music trips. I always have a 1-2-1 meeting or call with the trip leader to drive home how difficult things are even if they “look” fine.
pack othing precious or valuable. I’m afraid not everything will come back. Use AirTags.
label everything . Pack an outfit for a day complete with socks and pants in large ziplock bags.
teacher has passport the whole time apart from the 5 minutes going through immigration. Everything else is replaceable.

These tips are absolutely amazing thank you. Im making notes! I am a complete technophobe with no idea what an air tag is 🙈 will google!