Safety in the playground at school

[JW1991AW]

I took for 6 year old to the park and an older boy aged 11ish arrived on his own. He started playing on the zip wire with my child then I noticed he was teaching her how to swear with fingers. I asked him not to. Then he said I'm going to kick the s* out of you (half joking) obviously then I asked him to stay away from her. Ten minutes after he had kicked her. I asked him to explain and he kept saying I don't care. Eventually I pretended to call the police and he ran off. I reported it to the school and the head teacher called them both in and asked them to stay away from each other. My daughter said in the meeting the boy just closed his eyes and wasnt listening. My concern now is that he hasn't a care in the world and could approach my daughter in the playground. I'm worrying she's not safe at school...

Why didn’t you give the little shit a piece of your own mind? A bit of scary yelling might’ve helped. Why is it the school’s job?

Will they be in the same playground? Don't the infants/juniors have separate playgrounds? I'd be tempted to corner the little shit and threaten to break his legs if he touches your daughter but I understand that approach isn't for everybody 😂

It's not the schools job to deal with things that happen outside of school but they are in the same playground. Spoke to him a few times but he just didn't care. He's the sort of child who feels he has nothing to lose, has no parents etc. That's what's making me wonder if he would still approach her after being told not to. I actually didn't want the school to have them both in the office just to look out in the playground.

I'd speak to your child's class teacher if you haven't already, and they can ask the lunchtime supervisors to keep an eye out.

Honestly though your 6yo will probably barely register with an 11yo, I'm sure he has his own stuff going on.

It could also have resulted in yelling back and escalating swearing and screaming, which is best avoided.

It definitely doesn’t sound like it was dealt with particularly well. Telling a six year old to ‘stay away’ from an eleven year old but hopefully nothing more will happen as their paths won’t cross much.

She already seemed to know a lot about him and had seen him a few times in the playground. Enough to know his name, what year he was in, that hes naughty and has to stay with the deputy head. How an earth she knows all that i dont know. It's a big school and short staffed in the playground. I'm probably being an over protective mother but she's my world!

He is clearly already on the school's radar and they have plans in place. Whilst it was unpleasant in the park, I wouldn't assume it will be repeated in the playground. He presumably came over to your child in the park because there was no-one else there to play with. I would just tell your DD to play with children from her own year at school and let staff (and you) know if anyone bothers her. If there are ongoing issues at school, then you may need to escalate things, but chances are this boy won't be very interested in a random 6yo going forward. Saying that, it seems an odd response from the school to treat an 11yo and a 6yo 'equal' by speaking to them together like that.

Sounds very sad. You did the right thing but it was nice that he was playing with her. He sounds lonely.

I feel really sorry for this boy. He's 11 years old and has no parents. Who does he live with or is he in care?

I felt sorry for him for a moment until I remembered how he'd treated my daughter and he has no empathy for others. I believe he will be with foster carers. I don't know anything else about his background but it was obvious he was on the wrong path.

He was on the wrong path but he has been given an opportunity to turn his life around. He probably doesn't know how to play with other kids nicely. I cant imagine how awful it would be to be having to navigated the world on your own at only 11 with no skills from your parents.

Not that I think you have done anything wrong by protecting your daughter just think his situation is very sad.

I spoke to the deputy after school thinking we were alone. She couldn't say much but reassured it's very unlikely their paths would cross. I said she has seen him in the playground before and she said well I don't know when. He then appeared round the corner smiling and waving like he was listening. It was clear that he doesn't leave her side.

Doesn't leave whose side, your daughter's or the deputy head?

It sounds like this boy needs a lot of intervention from competent adults to help him with his socialisation. I'd just advise your DC to keep their distance as this isn't for them to solve.