Those who have left abusive relationships, how do you cope with losing your home and possessions?

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

I was actually thrown out. He chucked my clothes and photos on the kerb and changed the locks.

I got a lot of my stuff. I’m luckier than most.

But I poured £££ into that house. Decorating, nice rugs, kitchen equipment, plants, media, furniture. I did the garden, laid new patio, bought plants, furniture and an outdoor kitchen.

I was stupid. I paid a mortgage that wasn’t in my name, paid the deposit on a house that wasn’t in my name, I’ll never see it again.

It’s a lovely, lovely house.

I’m in a flat now. Small, easy to clean and in a nice area. But it’s not my house. I miss my house and my stuff. Not how I felt in the house, I just miss material things.

My possessions have been disposed of. Plants left to die. The garden won’t be looked after.

I’ll get over it. I have to. But I still feel a twang of longing for my stuff and what I called my home.

How do I get over it?

What a difficult situation. How long were you with this guy? Please get legal advice - there may be a community hub where you can get a free chat with a lawyer? You should at least be able to retrieve some of the items you bought. I feel very sad for you. All the best.

Maybe you don’t, in the sense that you’re grieving for something you no longer have. Perhaps it’s a question of getting to the point of acceptance.

Houses are bricks and mortar, but we have an emotional investment in them. Your home is where you build your life, maybe raise your children, invest time and money. You’re understandably upset because you’ve invested that time and money and it may not be cared for.

Allow yourself to be sad about it, but set about making your new home beautiful for you.

They're just things. Peace of mind, safety and freedom you can't buy.

Eventually you won't have cared. You'd have just wanted to be out. Maybe it's because it was the way he ejected you. He's done you a favour. Day 1 starts now.