Bedtime resistance, discarding cuddly toy and other transitions - Year 1 child

[CambridgeCats]

Hello, just wanted to share and perhaps get some feedback, tips from more experienced parents, or reassurance about my 5.5 yo Year 1 DS.

He has recently had a new bedroom - revamped from his old nursery decor (which he was asking for) so this might have triggered things. Generally he’s a good sleeper.

He decided he no longer wanted Sniffy his fluffy bunny he’s cuddled since he was a baby. (I tried to remain calm and cool when he told me even though inside I was crying 😢 🙈)!! I know this is normal but it seemed a bit overnight!

At bedtime he’s massively resisting going to sleep. He’s trying everything and keeps getting out of bed! When my DH does bedtime it’s even worse as he’s less structured than I am so bedtime has gone on for 2 hours! DS slept until 8am on Sunday as a result of not getting to sleep until finally about 9.45pm the night before - unheard of! And not practical for our family either. We are early birds.

I’m trying to work out if he needs a later bedtime, or if that will make matters worse! Or conversely earlier? Before the recent disruption he was going to sleep around 8.15pm and waking around 6.45/7.00am. What do others do at this age?

Tonight I’m bracing myself to do some repeated putting him back into the bedroom and staying calm routine until he gets the hang of it. A year ago he was fine to go to sleep by himself after stories and would just say night night mummy etc and close his eyes, but now he wants me to stay, wants this wants that etc.

In some ways he’s regressed (going to sleep by himself) but in other ways he’s switched into a total teenager overnight (no cuddly toys etc, doesn’t really want to play with toys anymore just play with his guitar and listen to music!)

Has anyone gone through this phase with their Year 1 child and any thoughts?

Does he maybe need you to linger a bit longer and have a cuddle? Maybe he's feeling very young and small amongst the changes and talk about being a big boy etc.

You could be right. Yes he does want me to linger. But I have been! We’ve been lingering for 2 hours!

Bump!

I wonder whether he's dumped Sniffy because he's a big boy - hence big boy bedroom decor - but doesn't really know how to go to sleep without it.

I'd put Sniffy somewhere accessible with his agreement and say that Sniffy is there if he needs him. Maybe tell him that lots of boys and girls have a cuddly at night until they're much older. Just leave the decision up to him and make no comment if Sniffy appears back in his bed. Lots of cuddles and then say you'll be back in 5 minutes. Pop back, then leave for 10, then15 etc etc. Put him back in his room if he leaves in between. Repeat until he's able to drop off on his own.

Good luck!

I would leave sniffy on the bedside table, he will find it challenging to settle without him if he's always been there.

I also wouldn't linger too much as that drags the whole thing out.

It might also be worth reminding him it's perfectly normal to have a cuddly toy snuggle with and that he's only 6 so whilst he feels grown up and mature he should enjoy just being a child for now. He's got a long time to be a grown up and not many years of being a child. Plus being grown up really isn't that exciting.

Agree with the popping back to check every so often and take a little longer to go back each time. Helps if they can't see any clocks from bed, as then you can say '5 minutes' and stretch it.

My year 1 rubbish sleeper (who has always been a rubbish sleeper) responds well to this, especially if I tell him what (preferably boring) 'job' I'm popping off to do in between checking on him e.g. "I've got to go downstairs to empty the dishwasher but I'll be back to check on you in 5 minutes"