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Dummies guide for cancer journey please

10 replies

Scaredandnotsure · 23/02/2026 13:26

I’m after advice please as I have been scaring myself when I Google, and I’m hoping you’ll all be kind and not shout at me to just Google it myself.

I have recently been diagnosed with grade 2 invasive lobular carcinoma. I have a 2cm growth and an MRI found nothing else. I am due to have a wide local excision (is this a lumpectomy?) and sentinel lymph node biopsy next week, then radiotherapy after. I have recently had issues with my stomach (d&v type issues, but overnight only every 3 weeks or so), and worry when I read lobular often spreads to the stomach lining.

What I want to know is:

Bras - I have large, full, breasts (currently). 38GGs. What post-op bra / solution do I need? The M&S ones don’t fit - the cups are too baggy which I’m guessing I don’t want. How many do I need? Should I have vests? As I’m having armpit surgery, can I really not ever wear underwires again?

What other things should I buy so I am ready? I’ve read about a heart shaped pillow - what’s that about? Ice compresses. Are the breast shaped ones worth the extra money?

I have thought maybe I should have my armpits waxed beforehand, so I’m not hairy for months after. Is that a good idea?

Travel - I am booked to go abroad in May. Obviously I need to see what treatment I will need, but is there anyway this could be possible?

Help please. Your best advice for someone who needs a dummy guide…

OP posts:
mylittleyumyum · 23/02/2026 15:42

I am so sorry. I have not been in your situation but I am bumping this as I know many other mumsnetters will have the experience to reassure/chat with you.

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 23/02/2026 16:00

I’m sorry you’re in this situation. The best person I found for information is Dr Liz Rhiordan, she was a doctor and surgeon (I think) and has had breast cancer herself. She’s very informative. You’ll fine her online and she has also written a couple of books.

Please lean on your cancer nurse as well. I used to take a notepad to meetings as you’ll probably have quite a lot of them at the beginning and I used to forget what I’d been told and then could reread my notes later and ask any questions I had.

Bras - again speak to your nurse I was given a bra for post surgery (I had a single mastectomy) and then once healed and had my prosthesis more bras. I’m 7 years down the line but I’d say only get a couple and then see how you go. A charity called knitted knockers makes prosthesis specifically for people who have had lumpectomies as well as mastectomies I believe and are very comfy.

I wear underwired bras now as I want the support for my remaining boob!

The heart shaped pillow is good for after surgery especially when travelling in the car as you sort of tuck it where you had surgery and under the seatbelt so it isn’t sore. I was lucky and my mum made me one.

If you would feel better being waxed, go for it.

I’d ask about your travel asap, we were also due to travel but I needed chemo before surgery so we postponed the trip.

Good luck with all of your treatment.

reabies · 23/02/2026 16:05

Hello, I had breast cancer 6 years ago, so things may have changed since.

I had a lumpectomy/wide local excision and lymph nodes removed from my armpit. I didn't wax my armpit but I shaved pre-op. They encouraged movement pretty quickly afterwards, I was told not to just keep my arm tucked up like a chicken wing (which is where I wanted to keep it) but to move it etc. I don't remember it being too long before I could shave again, once the dressings were off. But if you want to wax I would think that's fine.

My scar doesn't grow hair in it really btw and I just shave my pit as normal now.

You have much bigger breasts than me so apologies I'm not sure what bra would necessarily be best for you as I think you might need more support than I did. Hopefully someone else will be able to advise! I did get some bralette/vest/crop top type things.

Regarding underwire, I have been able to wear underwire and it's not been a huge problem. My armpit scar was tender and felt 'weird' for a long time, and my underarm skin down to my elbow was also tingly/weird. A bit like pins and needles and the sensation was weird when I touched it with my hand. I choose not to wear underwire generally as I don't find it as comfy, but I can and do wear it if I want to, so I wouldn't see why you wouldn't be able to again once you're all healed up (unless your dr says otherwise!!)

Travel - depending on your treatment timeline you may be able to go, but you will struggle to get travel insurance if you're having active treatment or reviews. Have you been told when your radiotherapy will be? I had 4 weeks and it made me extremely fatigued, and it took a while to get back to normal afterwards. You may not want to be away in the immediate aftermath.

Other things to buy - I don't really have many recommendations as most of the things I found useful were to get me through chemo. It doesn't sound like you're having that? I didn't have a particular pillow or anything post op.

Wishing you all the best @Scaredandnotsure, it's scary but there is lots of support out there - Macmillan are great.

Pistachiocake · 23/02/2026 16:05

All I can say from people I've known is that things canvary massivley from person to person, even when they have the same hospital, and seem to have the same condition-I mean in terms of treatment they had, whether they had to avoid meeting others/work/and so many other things. I would speak to your own medical team to ask advice on all of this.

Ohjoyohbliss · 23/02/2026 16:21

I can't help with specifics as I have a different type of cancer but, assuming you are newly diagnosed, you must be in shock. There is a cancer topic under health and there might be more knowledgeable women on there.

Re. the scaring yourself with Google, please bear in mind that new cancer treatments are being introduced all the time, so things like 5 year or 10 year survival rates are meaningless because the new treatments weren't available 5 or 10 years ago.

I wish you all the best for successful treatment.

Cat1504 · 23/02/2026 16:31

Take one day at a time….be mindful that you will struggle to get travel insurance until you have finished treatment….and until you have results you don’t know whether you will be having chemo….radiotherapy etc….I was told my nodes looked clear on scans….but then one was positive on histology …so that changed my treatment plan….be prepared for change…..the MDT are the experts…you will be in safe hands ….any pillow is fine …..defo don’t do underwire bras to begin….and defo do your physio …as your risk of lymphoedema is there with node removal……..if they tell you you need a nuclear medicine injection before node removal ( it’s very accurate in tracing the nodes for the surgeon…replaces the dye method they used to do)….then just be aware the needle goes into your nipple….but don’t stress too much because honestly the thought was far worse than it actually was….I don’t think it hurt much at all…..be kind to yourself….don’t rush back to wrk….and never expect your life to go ‘back to normal’ …because it never will….cancer changes you..,not always for the worse…li wish you well 🍀🍀🍀

Crwysmam · 23/02/2026 16:37

Welcome to the club no one wants to join.
Firstly you have passed go and have a diagnosis, all the waiting and biopsies is hell non earth. I found surgery was a turning point because once done, and all being well, the cancer is effectively gone. Any further treatment is adjuvant ( just in case).

I’m a similar size to you and bought a couple of quite expensive front fastening bras that were bamboo fibre (Theya Healthcare). They were super comfortable and didn’t irritate the incisions because they had no seams. I then moved onto M&S crop tops (Body by M&S Flexifit) which are seamless and have decent support. It’s the lymph node incision that causes the most irritation.

I’m four years post op and can’t wear any structured bra for long. I tend to wear the crop tops at night as well as during the day because your boob does ache when it’s free to flop around at night. It also acts a bit like a pressure garment minimising post op lymphodema.

Buy some Mepitac, soft silicone tape, to use once the incisions are healed. It is great for reducing the formation of scar tissue and also stops clothing irritating incision area.

Read the instructions from the physio and follow it to the letter. It helps mobilise you post op and reduces lymphodema and cording.

A wedge pillow helps you while sitting in bed. The heart shaped cushion supports your arm and provides support protecting the lymph node incision.

I was given a shoulder tote bag for the drain. Vacuum drains are commonly used so you don’t need to rely on gravity. Tape a loop of the drain tube to your chest so if you catch the tube on furniture or door handle it pulls the skin around the tape rather than the drain incision. At night put a chair against your bed next to you to hand the bag carrying the drain. It keeps it tidy and stops you jumping out of bed and forgetting the drain.

Another way of dealing with drains is to find a mens pyjama top ( oversized) with pockets at waste level. Turn it inside out so you can put the drain in the pocket protecting the tubing. Comfort is the main aim until the drain is removed.

Once my drain was removed at five days recovery was much easier. I was able to drive at 10 days. I went to watch my DS play rugby at 7 days.

You should be fine to travel in May unless you need chemo, and as long as radio is finished. But be aware that radio can cause really noticeable fatigue. You will also have t stay out of the sun. But check with your breast cancer nurse.

During radio you need to use moisturiser. I used MooGoo and a French product developed for radio damage called Biofine. I had no skin damage apart from a prolonged tan over the area treated.

Make sure you have plenty of painkillers, paracetamol are fine. Take them regularly within the prescribed limit to stay on top of the pain. Longterm it can take months for your boob to feel normal. Even now, 4.5 yrs on I still get weird twinges. I find massaging with body oil or moisturiser helps more than painkillers and I continued to do the stretches for 12 months after the surgery.

Good luck with your surgery and I hope your results are what they are expecting. Getting the all clear can be a bit of an anticlimax after the huge Adrenalin fuelled rollercoaster of diagnosis and treatment. It’s perfectly normal and most breast cancer units have a psychologist to help.

Finally there is a great Facebook support group. You can ask any question you want, have a good rant or just scroll in the knowledge that every single member knows exactly what you are going through. Sometimes it’s difficult to explain to nearest and dearest just how you are feeling but the Breast Cancer crew will always have your back.

Scaredandnotsure · 23/02/2026 16:52

Thanks so much everyone. I guess I’m still in a bit of shock and trying to stay upbeat for everyone else. I know the nurses say to phone them, but my questions seem so trivial really, compared to what others need them for. I feel bad wasting their time.

Off to Google all your suggestions but I really want to thank you all so much. I’m sitting here crying as I feel like you are all holding my hand.

thank you wonderful people 💐💐

OP posts:
Observed · 23/02/2026 17:36

OP, I haven’t been through this but from what I understand the nurses are only too happy to be asked about whatever is worrying you. You won’t be wasting their time. Good luck - wishing you a speedy recovery 🩷

Zoopet · 23/02/2026 20:24

Please go over to the cancer thread under general health as there is a wealth of support and knowledge there with lots of lovely ladies who have been on/are on this journey.
Regarding travel, I had chemo before my lumpectomy and could not travel abroad.
I am now 18 months post active treatment.
It's a roller coaster of a journey but the staff in the NHS are brilliant.

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