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Work colleague. How to answer back?

42 replies

storageconcern · 23/02/2026 07:07

My work colleague always responds to conversations with a negative. So much that I usually no longer share what I have been up to or quickly change subject however, on Saturday I was out with friends at a bowls club where we were given food and drinks in their little club house after. We had such a lovely afternoon. Lots of laughs and photos are now on Facebook which work colleague will have seen. Thing is she will say she won’t eat there because she heard bad things or someone’s aunty from 4 doors down knew the postman who delivered there and didn’t like the ground keeper or some other really odd way to decide she doesn’t like it. I could literally say I was in Gordon Ramsay kitchen having Sunday lunch and she would know someone or heard bad things.

It’s the same if I’ve said my car is going for its MOT. She will respond that she’s heard bad things about the garage because her grandads gardener thinks they took his car out for a drive and used 3 miles worth of fuel. Or a camp site will have had a hair in the bathroom. It is honestly every little thing will have some negative comment however, if our boss then comes in and says something like I saw you at the bowls, it looked lovely she’s change her entire story to match what our boss has just said. It’s bloody exhausting!

She made a comment about how I cleaned the work kitchen and that it was ok. It not her clean! I did manage to respond to that by saying fair enough, I won’t bother in the future and I can leave it all down to you. That didn’t go down well.

OP posts:
MadameWombat · 23/02/2026 07:10

Look up Grey Rock. It's fab for difficult colleagues.

Samewrinklesnewname · 23/02/2026 07:10

“Respond with something along the lines of “I’d be worried if you had anything positive to say about it”

Or just roll your eyes. I can’t be bothered with people like her

CheddarCheeseAndCrispSandwich · 23/02/2026 07:18

Honestly…this is tedious, and I have no patience at all with people like this. I’d preempt her nonsense by saying, “Before you start Brenda, unless you’ve got anything positive to say, can you just not? Your negativity isn’t needed today, thanks!”

The first time you stop her will seem rude…but she’s always rude, so don’t feel bad about it.

rwalker · 23/02/2026 07:25

Honestly you’ll just know what to expect I wouldn’t bother

top marks for the kitchen incident though

SparklyGlitterballs · 23/02/2026 07:26

"One day you'll say something positive in response and we'll all think you've had a funny turn Eileen"

Best thing though probably is to not feed into her and don't acknowledge her comment. Just let her finish and casually continue with what you're saying, or change subject.

For a bit of fun you could create your own bingo card of things she'd typically say, and cross them off each time she utters one. When you get a line or full house, treat yourself.

IfThen · 23/02/2026 07:27

Just say nothing at all. Don’t feed the negativity.

ScaryM0nster · 23/02/2026 07:29

Good thing it was me not you then.

itsgettingweird · 23/02/2026 07:50

I agree with grey rock.

Brilliant response about the kitchen.

However I’ve had a colleague like this and I just use to reply “that’s a shame. Lucky my experience was so much better”.

That worked on this situation because she was someone thought herself superior and not was designed as a put down to anyone who do something that they could have got better.

One particular splendid day was the day lots of us decided if she made a comment about someone’s weekend shoot to a local spa hotel we’d all chip in and talk about our wonderful visits there previously (motifs had never been 🤣) with elaborate stories about how wonderful our experience was.

Strangely - it worked!

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 23/02/2026 07:53

It’s only irritating because you are thinking about it. Let it wash over you. It’s like the weather, you can’t control it, stop fretting about it.

BogusBargins · 23/02/2026 08:01

It’s pure jealousy OP, she obviously has a sad little life and reacts bitterly to others doing anything she’d like to basically. I’d react to anything to say with slightly confused humour - haha Brenda, gosh you’re so funny is there anywhere you DO like. Then just don’t let her answer, say it as you’re going to the toilet or something to make her sit with it.

BogusBargins · 23/02/2026 08:02

Another I quite like with these people is to say, are you feeling ok, it’s just so unlike you to share an opinion….

something2say · 23/02/2026 08:06

I would just stay silent and let her negative comment hang in the air, and let her feel the consequences of it.

If she asked me later, I'd say 'Well every time someone shares something good they have done, you put it down!'

Sugarsugarcane · 23/02/2026 08:09

SparklyGlitterballs · 23/02/2026 07:26

"One day you'll say something positive in response and we'll all think you've had a funny turn Eileen"

Best thing though probably is to not feed into her and don't acknowledge her comment. Just let her finish and casually continue with what you're saying, or change subject.

For a bit of fun you could create your own bingo card of things she'd typically say, and cross them off each time she utters one. When you get a line or full house, treat yourself.

The last sentence of your post, although I for sure see the humour in it! Isn’t a good idea sorry 😬 if that ever got out it would be seen as bullying

CypressGrove · 23/02/2026 08:12

Why can she see your Facebook? Id just stop sharing anything with her outside work related conversations.

Sisandbro81 · 23/02/2026 08:15

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HygerTyger · 23/02/2026 08:16

CheddarCheeseAndCrispSandwich · 23/02/2026 07:18

Honestly…this is tedious, and I have no patience at all with people like this. I’d preempt her nonsense by saying, “Before you start Brenda, unless you’ve got anything positive to say, can you just not? Your negativity isn’t needed today, thanks!”

The first time you stop her will seem rude…but she’s always rude, so don’t feel bad about it.

I love this response! Definitely don't feel bad about being rude to her. she sounds like a sourpuss with a constant cat's bum mouth .

Bonkers1966 · 23/02/2026 08:17

Sounds like she enjoys the attention. Take it away from her.

ILiveForTheYadaYada · 23/02/2026 08:21

Preempt it rather than responding to it.You know it is coming and stop it before it starts. You could phrase it like you are worried she only ever has negative things to say that way you are covered if she complains to someone higher up.

MoiraPlunkett · 23/02/2026 08:25

Just say, 'Oh, really?' in a bored sort of tone.

Gamerlady · 23/02/2026 08:29

Stop sharing information with her then, let her be negative elsewhere. You don't need her draining the happiness out of you. Avoid where possible.

ZenNudist · 23/02/2026 08:33

Block her on social media

lljkk · 23/02/2026 08:34

You can make settings so she stays your "friend" on facebook but she can't see posts you don't want her to see.

TBH, I'd find a person like her entertaining rather than irritating. I'd look forward to just how negative they can turn things.

She must be exhausted by all her negativity & you can be grateful not to be her. Is she anxious or just a total Eeyore?

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 23/02/2026 08:51

I've known (and still do know) people like this. I just have a standard comment that I say without even thinking now.
I say "Thanks for sharing" in a really jolly tone of voice and then just carry on with what I was doing.

ThisMellowCat · 23/02/2026 18:32

If she slates it just oh so I won’t be bumping into there then and smile and sit back

ERthree · 23/02/2026 18:33

" Brenda, do you ever hear of anything positive"

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