Dilemma: I’m now talking to two guys at once

[Happyfairy1]

My ex boyfriend broke up with me and I was devastated, I never saw it coming, I really did love him and could not convince him at the time to try with me. His reasoning was he’s doing what he thinks is right. 5 months later I accepted reality and met another guy who I’ve been dating.

The new guy is early day and I do like him but my ex has come back saying he made a mistake, loves me and wants the future with me we originally planned to have before he left. I’m now confused I understand people make mistakes, but I’m struggling to make a decision because this new guy we haven’t fully explored how our futures would work more just dating and getting to know each other and even though it’s been amazing my ex coming back has really clouded this experience.

Does anyone have advice or experience with this ?

Personally I don’t think I could ever trust the ex again and would politely decline contact.

How long were you and your ex together? Any children?

If it goes well with the new date that’s great, if not plenty more fish in the sea.

I wouldn’t give the ex a second chance. How could you trust him again?

Does your ex know about the new guy?

It’s also not an either or. They are not the only me in the world and aside from these two there may very well be someone else who you find you’re better suited to.

what reasons would you have for getting back together with an ex who dumped you and wasn’t interested in trying to make it work?

Ex dumped you. You're not his first choice and you can't trust him. How could you be comfortable with someone you know would dump you with no warning? What bullshit reason did he give for dumping you? Was there another woman he was involved with?

Date New guy. It's early days, it's rushing things to be planning a future. Enjoy yourself.

Is 'Talking to' the new seeing?

So it didn’t work out with the new woman and he wants to come back to you?

You would be silly to give him another chance.

@OP So I did go back to my ex in this scenario- and we have been married for ten years now- so it is possible it can work. But with that we had been dating only a few months when he called it off, and we had gotten together soon after he had come out of an engagement to someone else. He explained he had felt he was about to get into something really serious again and he knew he wasn't in the headspace he could do that just yet. I could understand his reasoning and why us getting back together six months later would be different.

So its possible it could work, but I think you really need to understand his reasons for calling it off the first time and how they no longer apply. If he called it off because he wasn't sure about the relationship I wouldn't go back, because why would it be different next time?

Sorry but you would be really daft to take back your ex.

He said he called it off because he felt low and felt like he shouldn’t be with me. But at the time he still loved me he just thought it was the right thing to do.