What on earth do I do for childcare?

[Uniquesituwhattodo]

In a fairly unique situation, name changed as it might be outing

I’ve been back at work from maternity leave for about half a year. Did not send DC to childcare as the plan was that they would be cared for by me (I work 3 days), their dad and my parents occasionally if their dad worked any additional hours.

We had to leave the family home in quite sudden circumstances and DC does not currently have contact with their dad. My mum has massively adjusted her work pattern but was only allowed to do this until April. I also had a load of annual leave to use after mat leave and my manager has been very flexible so between me and my mum (who also works 3 days) we’ve covered it, by me taking a day a week AL so actually working two days. This annual leave will have run out end of March.

We had a childminder lined up for April and they are now no longer available. I’ve enquired around and pretty much every setting is full until 2027, some longer. There have been a couple with availability but they do not have good reviews locally and poor Ofsted.

My dad will be around but wouldn’t want to care for DC all day on his own more than a very one off occasion.

Does anyone have any idea what I can do? Genuinely really stuck and don’t just want to send DC to any old setting. It needs to be right. I’m obviously a single mum too so any and all of the responsibility falls to me. I love my job and wish I could work more, so I don’t want to have to put another flexible working request to work even less.

Feel really stuck 😢

Have you looked at childcare places near your workplace?

that will broaden the search a bit and means you won’t be as rushed leaving work of an evening to dash to nursery.

Unhelpfully it’s not static and I’m travelling all across a fairly large city every day, so it would need to be near home or within a 15 min drive. Must’ve enquired with 20 nurseries and probably a similar number of childminders, all no space apart from one but parents on Facebook groups say steer well clear of it

A nanny? Or nanny share with someone else locally to bring the cost down?

A shared nanny or as you’re part time look to child share with someone else who works part and is in a similar position to you?

Nanny

Expensive but needs must

What about nurseries further than a 15 minute drive? Or other childminders. A nanny would be too expensive.

Genuinely can’t afford this, would be easier for me to quit my job.

I’m continuing to look but it seems to be a theme :(

The setting that has space - what are the issues identified with it? When was it last inspected by Ofsted? What if any issues were raised at that inspection? Just wondering- if it’s not for example safeguarding concerns, for which you’d think the setting would have been shut down or had remedial action taken - could this be at least a stopgap solution to enable you to work?

Oh I'm sorry, this is so stressful.

I'm not sure there's an answer. Where I am, you'd be hard-pressed to find anything good. There's one nursery that advertises often but nobody stays and the OFSTED is shocking. Everywhere else is insanely busy. We managed to get 2 days for my son after 2.5 years on the waiting list, due to go up to 4 days in late 2024... we're still waiting. We joined the baby room list when I was 16 weeks pregnant and my 10-month-old still doesn't have a place.

I think it's just going to be begging and organising with people to sort what you can. We did a day swap with a friend for a while; we had both toddlers on a Monday and she had them on a Thursday. An older friend couldn't cope with a toddler often alone, but did manage to take them to a long playgroup once a week. We drove to a childminder further away two days a week, although the commute was 85 minutes 🥴 Then I took Mondays off and DH took Fridays... not all of that will work for you, but some might. It's just things that are outside the box, sadly, unless a nanny is an option.

Watch Childcare.co.uk like a hawk for any new childminders setting up and get in straight away. That's the only way we got ours when we moved to the SE.

Firstly look round the dodgy one if you haven't already, ask them upfront about the complaints and Ofsted and see what they say. Make your own mind up. New management can turn things round quite quickly, and it would not need to be a permanent move.

Are there aspects of your job that could be done from home evenings/weekends? Maybe talk to your manager about whether you could temporarily do this and ask your mum to look after DC in this out of hours time. Even if there is not currently an option for this there may be a project or something you could move onto even if it's just one day a week.

Also consider switching days eg avoid Tue & Wed, ask for whatever days childcare has available (likely Mon & Fri) but you have probably thought of this.

Think patchwork solutions. If you find a CM who can do a Friday and you manage to find some way of working out of hours for your second working day that only leaves one day a week in nursery or with a nanny. Maybe a nanny with own child 1 or 2 days might be doable short term?

You can contact you local authority early years people and they will act as a brokerage for you. Have a look at the Council website in their area and give them a call

What is your job?
If you had a couple of years career break would you get another job easily?
Could you afford to not work for a while?
I know you’re asking for childcare ideas and lots of people have suggested possible solutions- but I think working out if a career break is feasible is worth considering too

Feel for you, we had a similar situation after my first Mat leave, the childminder we had lined up closed her business 3 weeks prior to DC1 starting - I’d used up all my a/l extending my Mat leave & DH had set shifts around presumed childcare ready to go, no spaces/availability anywhere (including the “requires improvement” ones)

Just a thought have you tried nurseries attached to hospitals, the one near me has three attached/associated - but you wouldn’t know as they never advertise.

I was at the hospital one afternoon (in the midst of the above mentioned childcare crisis) & noticed a sign for a nursery, it hadn’t come up in my searches so assumed it was staff only, anyway decided to call in & they said they would take DC temporarily, he was there for 18 months 😂

I would still try and get on the waiting lists for a couple (or more) decent nurseries asap, in the hope that they have a space sooner. My ds got a space 6 months sooner than they told us. I do realise there is a bit of a cost to doing this though if you have to pay registration fees. Perhaps hedge your bets and not go for the super popular nurseries or ask how many other kids are on the waiting list. End of summer is usually a high turnover time as the older kids move to school. Then perhaps the not great nursery might be okay until a space somewhere else becomes available.

What's the situation with the father?

Also, I know you don’t want to take more time off but you are entitled to take up to 4 weeks unpaid parental leave a year I believe.

There are likely to be settings that either haven’t advertised or, in the case of childminders, are not listed publicly. Childminders can opt in to lists but don’t have to be listed publicly as it is their home address.

Your LA Family information service is likely a good starting point.

There should also be a mapping tool for children and young people’s services on your LA website.

Ask absolutely everyone you know!

This is a good point. I may be out of date, in my day parental leave had to be taken in whole weeks unless you have a disabled child, but my employer was very happy to be flexible on this in practice. My friend used to take one week of parental leave to take 5x Fridays off in a block. It worked well for our employer, they got to keep her on a fuller permanent contract so win win.