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Reported a colleague.

8 replies

MissDemelzaCarne · 20/02/2026 22:04

I’ve worked at the same place for 25 years and generally get on well with people. Have been working at a senior management position for the last 5 years.

I had a peer in the same division join the organisation 2 years ago, she’s very prickly and it took me ages to warm to her. She has a reputation for not getting on with people and I’ve heard all sorts of tales from junior colleagues but haven’t witnessed this myself.

She’s notoriously brusque and it made sense when she told me she was ND and I was able to change my communication style so that we could submit joint reports as she won’t collaborate.

One of our department heads, who is one of my direct reports, had requested a meeting with the 2 of us other an issue she had with one of my colleagues departments.

I was shocked at how rude she was to this department manager, who is really experienced. She talked over her, patronised her, argued with me when I attempted to speak and then raised her voice and leaned forward towards her holding her palm outstretched. The department manager refused to continue with the meeting and left the room.

After going after my direct report and made sure they were OK I returned to my colleague who seemed oblivious as to how she had behaved. I told her how she’d come across but she didn’t agree saying that the department head had been rude and talking over her when the reverse was true!

I mulled on it over it over the weekend but then put something in an email to our respective boss. I’d hate for someone more junior to be hectored and bullied in such a fashion.

Our boss got us together and talked it through but she’s gone into victim mode, still saying that the department head was rude, just because she didn’t agree with what bossy colleague was saying. She’s now divulged all sorts of personal issues and says she no longer trusts me.

We’re both in our fifties and I really CBA with all this shit. Part of me wishes I hadn’t said anything and let her get away with being a bully but obviously I know it was the right thing to do.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 20/02/2026 22:08

It definitely was the right thing to do. I'm a manager too and sometimes doing the right thing means you put yourself in the firing line. I do know how it feels - I had a situation where one of my direct reports relayed to me that the person reporting into her was speaking so appallingly to her that she'd taken to crying in her car before coming into work in the morning. Totally unacceptable. So I had the conversation and then got cold-shouldered from then on until the time this person decided to seek work elsewhere (thank goodness). I feel for you, well done for doing the right thing even if it makes your work situation more tricky in the short term.

regista · 20/02/2026 22:15

It’s really hard as a manager to complain about behaviour upward, if junior staff are badly behaved there is an expectation that they will shoulder it and not complain. But managers are people too and I think it was good of you to highlight the poor behaviour. You definitely did the right thing, so sorry if this makes your life more difficult.

BobLemon · 20/02/2026 22:27

Bloody was the right thing to do. Leaders that stand up for people make impacts that continue for a long time.

MissDemelzaCarne · 21/02/2026 15:33

Thank you all, I know it’ll all blow over eventually but the fact that I put it in writing means that HR have been copied in so if, or rather when she does it again at least there’s a record of her behaviour.

I hate crap managers, they can make people’s lives miserable.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 21/02/2026 15:43

I really sympathise, it always frustrates me when adults also don't act like adults!

MissDemelzaCarne · 21/02/2026 16:50

Arlanymor · 21/02/2026 15:43

I really sympathise, it always frustrates me when adults also don't act like adults!

Exactly! I’m too old for this nonsense.

OP posts:
AgnesMcDoo · 21/02/2026 16:53

You’ve done the right thing

ThisJadeBear · 21/02/2026 16:54

You did the right thing.
There is a huge difference between being ND and it influencing how you communicate, and just being a manipulative arsehole.
You did the right thing.

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