So stretched and stressed, I feel like I might actually just keel over.

[ManickPanick]

I don't really have anyone to talk to IRL so posting to get my thoughts out. I have a DH but I can't really share this with him.

I feel so stretched and stressed at work. I can't sleep.
I feel like I'm on the verge of tears at all times.
I have a lot of autonomy in job so I'm not under pressure from 'above' as such.
I have a lot of projects running, which I've opted to undertake, but they're all quite complex with multiple moving parts which don't always fit together.
I'm trying to start a business as well.

I know I need to let something drop but its hard to know what. Its not the amount but the complexity of stuff I'm doing that's the problem. I work closely with another person on these projects and on the business and she's pretty useless.

I want to win the premium bonds and just jack it all in.

Sorry, I don't know what is my question. I just needed to type it out.

Can you talk to your manager about your colleague's poor contribution to the projects?

Why can’t you discuss this with your DH? Is he unsupportive?

Maybe postpone setting up your own business until things settle down?

Please be careful I had a nervous breakdown with my own biz and other tasks. Has taken 3 years to recover. Your health is your biggest asset. Take leave of absence if you can.

@Ilovecheeseyah I'm so sorry that happened to you. Sorry if this is a stupid question but how did you know you had a nervous breakdown? I mean, in what ways was it more than 'just' stress? I don't mean to sound dismissive, I'm just really curious.

@StripedTee Not really. She's in a different department. She'd say that she's doing everything she can within her workload and working hours. There's nothing I can do, I just have to carry her.

@Harrietsaunt DH's got loads of work shit of his own going on. We both got totally overwhelmed and stressed with work last year and weren't very nice to each other. We agreed that in 2026, we'd keep work in perspective and be nicer to each other. He's doing brilliantly at that despite his own work being a shitshow at the moment. I don't feel I can bring my problems into our life and ruin things.

@ManickPanick- sure:
everyone breaks down looks different. My signs were: not being able to perform simple tasks, eg post a letter, catch a bus
staying in bed a lot sleeping
silly things making me cry
a feeling of total overwhelm eg not being able to look at email or answer phone
not being able to do hobbies which I enjoy eg cooking
not being able to do any admin eg forgetting all pins numbers, could not do passport renewal, find my way around London which I know
huge memory loss and sense of cognitive decline
not being able to stay in touch with more than 1-2 low stress people
a sense of total nihilism and worthlessness of life eg “what is the point”

I don’t list this out of sympathy seeking not trying to scare you. Just these are my signs and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. The paranoia is still a frequent companion.

Im in a similar position at the moment so fewl your pain.

I do discuss it with my DH but he is so unhelpful with his comments it's just not worth it. Im fed up with all the just use chat gpt comments from wider family.

DH has a manual labour job but can switch off at 5pm when he finishes wheras I am working till midnight to catch up. I have to work around DD as my hours are more flexible but it builds up and all my work projects are suddenly happening at once.

I've had a very tearful day today🙁

Sorry hope you can get some empathy on here xxxx

@Ilovecheeseyah Thank you for being so honest about what happened to you. I'm so sorry to read this, it sounds awful. I was asking because I've been thinking to myself "Am I having a nervous breakdown? When will I know if I'm having one or just really really really stressed?"

@mogtheexcellent I'm so sorry you're going through something similar. I've chatted with ChatGPT a little bit too, but its good to talk to actual humans as well. I mean, ideally that'd be DH of course. I found myself asking ChatGPT the other day about my options for illnesses that'd take me off work for a few months but not kill me or have long-term issues 😬

Hey OP - sorry you’re going through this. I’m having similar through combination of work, family stuff and health issues - feels like hanging on with my fingernails. Have been hanging on to the idea of getting signed off with stress as a potential out for months but it feels like a bad look right after a big promotion. Starting therapy for the first time this week… 🫨

I would agree with PP - put aside urgency for starting your own business, or, if this is what makes you feel fulfilled, build in some time in your spare time to work on small bits/create stock but without expectation of launching imminently.

At work, maybe consider sitting down to reassess all your current projects and their actual urgency, and whether timelines need revision. If most of the pressure is coming from you, is there a perfectionism issue at play?

If I can make a suggestion that’s helped me, take a day of AL here and there with no big expectations, just to calm your nervous system. Take yourself out to lunch with a book, get a massage or nails done (if budget not a big issue), take a nice walk with a coffee- no big plans to use the day on working on your business or overhauling your house or anything. You may need to get yourself back closer to baseline before you can really look at work with clear eyes. Take care! Wishing you all the best, it’s a hard place to be.

I think at some point a nervous breakdown / burn out / extreme stress becomes a semantic argument. At the end of the day, you have the answer in your original title I am afraid : listen to your body and down tools.

Wishing you the very very best and I shall continue to think of you and wish you well.