Y6 residential trip

[Biscuitlady1]

My son is 9 and due to go on a 2 night residential in the start of the next academic year. I have no anxiety about him being away from me - he lives with his dad half the week and his dad takes him abroad for holidays and that's never been any issue.

I am concerned about overnight supervision on the trip. My son's teachers will be going but will be staying in a separate part of the building overnight. The building has small single-sex rooms for groups of 4-5 kids. A man working for the residential company will be supervising the boys overnight; a woman will be supervising the girls.

If there were two people supervising the boys, I'd not be so worried. But I don't like the idea that my son will be supervised overnight by a man we've never met.

I was a victim of abuse twice and know that the DBS check is irrelevant. I don't have any issues with my son being away and I don't want to stop him from going. I want my son to be independent but I also want to feel safer with the safeguarding processes.

Are there any suggestions for how I might be able to let him go but also ensure that he is safe overnight?

Thanks

It does sound odd that the teachers aren't directly supervising but I assume if a PGL type place the residential staff have a lot of experience and do this all the time without incident.

My son is in year 6 and has done a few school residential and scout/cub camps as well as sleepovers with friends and it is a time that you worry a bit. I talk with my son about the type of behaviour that is ok and not ok, to stick together with a friend and not be on his own, how to say no firmly and to tell a trusted adult or friend straight away if anything seems off.

I definitely want him to have these experiences so in the end I have to have some faith that the adults we ask to look after our kids have positive intentions.

I think your choice is to trust that your child’s school has chosen a competent and professional company (and staff) to manage the trip or to not to let him go.
Which is easier said than done.

Many thousands of children go on residential trips both at home and abroad every year, with unknown adults all over the place, and although a DBS cert is not perfect, it should give you some reassurance. In a room with 4 or 5 friends, I’d be more worried that he’ll have zero sleep for two nights!

Could you talk to any present year 6 parents about how it worked for their child?

It does sound slightly unusual but then it’s just occurred to me I don’t even know where the staff are sleeping/who is supervising on my dd’s y6 residential in a few months. I have just presumed their teachers are on hand. It’s a well used place and I trust the school’s judgement.

Speak to the school to ask what safeguards are in place and raise your concerns.

I echo the pp that have a chat with your dc before he goes about privacy/ inappropriate touching/ telling a trusted adult of any worries. Not actually specifically about the trip, just in general.

Ask the residential company for a copy of their Safeguarding policy. Maybe this will reassure you? I didn’t give it a second thought when my children went to these residential or cub camps etc but I dont have your life experiences.

Thank you all for your understanding. I've taught my son about inappropriate touching and telling an adult etc from a young age so I know he'll tell me anything that happens. I had school trips when I was younger but I don't recall anyone supervising overnight by unknown staff (or at all hence midnight feasts and mayhem!) I think it's the presence of an unknown man that is bothering me. Thanks

That does sound a bit dodgy to be honest. When my DDs have been away they’ve been supervised by their actual teachers or brownie leaders.
The man will be fully DBS checked but like you say that doesn’t always mean it’s safe.
Can you raise your concerns with the school? Ask for more information like how close are the teachers going to be etc

This sounds like a PGL type place. It think it makes perfect sense. They do this week in/week out.

Some children can be a nightmare when they go away and really play up for the staff, making everyone tired and grumpy. They are far more likely to behave for a stranger.

You always have the option for him not to go, but personally I reckon he’ll have a great time.

You probably wouldn’t even have considered who was supervising overnight had they not informed you.

That sounds totally normal to me. What it is that worries you?

This is wild.

Arrangement at my school is the teachers (and TA's) supervise the children and sleep in a room on the same floor. Male teacher for boys floor. Although the year DS went it was all female staff from the school who went along so boys were supervised by a female teacher.

This is PGL and our school always have a "blocked off" accommodation (accessed by door code) so nobody other than the school staff would have access to the kids sleeping areas. I'm not explaining it very well here.... but it's part of the whole deal that the kids are supervised overnight by the staff from their school.

I'm pretty chilled but there is no way any of mine would have been allowed to go with the arrangement your school have
@Biscuitlady1

They didn't inform me - I asked! I check safeguarding info because of my own experiences.

On my children's trips the overnight supervision was more like a security guard.
The teachers still attended to home sick kids etc. Is this the case, or will the staff deal with everything?

Your son will be in a room with his friends. I would worry if he was going to be on his own, but that's not the case.

Kindly, I think you are overreacting, based on your own experience, but I think you should let your son go.

What reason would you give him, if he couldn't go?

Thank you. I am exactly reacting based on my own experiences and other peoples I've met through my life when these conversations have come up before. I know these things happen more commonly than are discussed. One in 20 children are abused and we all know people who've been abused although most don't disclose it so it's not rare. It can't be undone and I'm very aware of the issues that happen when it happens.

I want my son to go so I'm trying to find a way to see if there's another option. I don't know what that is which is why I'm posting but I realise there might not be.

My son is aware I'm concerned about the trip and he would know the reason is because I wouldn't leave him with someone when I wasn't confident about the arrangement. I still think my duty is to make sure he's looked after while he's vulnerable rather than to send him on a trip (he's not going to the same secondary as any of his classmates the following year so I don't think it'll have a long term impact on his friendships).

I know that this seems OTT to those who've not had my experiences. I'll speak to the school and see what had happened in previous years and if they know who will do the night supervision from the residential centre.

Thank you