Why are men so pathetic?

[Gettingbysomehow]

I've always asked them out or I'd never have got married or had any boyfriends. I'm well presented and fun but these days when I show any interest in men at all they have no idea how to respond, they either scuttle off looking terrified or don't engage in any conversation just stand around looking into space.
Quite frankly I've given up.
How does anyone date these days, I'm a member of a lot of clubs and social groups and prefer not to date using apps because I'd rather get to know people rather than meet a stranger on an app.
I'm not overly forward just a normal person trying to have a normal conversation.
To be honest I've given up.
One bloke offered to give me a lift home so I said ok as we'd chatted loads of times, I wasn't interested in him at all, never had been he was a lot older than me and a bit gauche.
As i was getting into the car he blurted out - I don't want to go on a date with you or be your friend or anything. I just thought WTF!!
I said no worries there Ian I don't fancy you either and he didn't speak to me the whole way home.
So bizarre.

Look at the good side. No stalkers, no creepy guy, no dick pics, no getting ghosted, no time wasters.

I don’t know what’s happened to men tbh!

And no, I don’t mean they need to be extraordinary in any shape or form,

But where are the just basically decent and competent blokes who are quietly confident, independent of thought, who have basic good manners and basic competence at life?

I am lucky to be married to one of the latter but I am an observer of the young men my young adult DDs bring home and so far, it seems to be my DDs, who have been brought up to be independent and confident, who are organising tickets, driving their bfs to the station, arranging birthday meals, while the bfs sit around gaming! I’m always telling my DDs not to do this btw! And one of them I think is getting the message now!

I know I sound like a judgemental cow, the bfs do both have good qualities too and I understand they don’t have much life experience yet in their early 20s, but only last week we had a very special celebration for an older family member, we were short of time and it was all hands to the deck, very obviously so, and both of the bfs sat chatting while our DDs, their father and I rushed around moving tables and organising glasses. And even once our guests arrived, the young men had no conversation skills, didn’t have the wit to offer to help serve drinks or help older guests with their coats , or with parking or finding them chairs or whatever.

I despair honestly! Are they all brought up to be completely oblivious to what is going on around them or what? We’ve been really welcoming to them over the last two years and have treated them like family and they’ve had lots of dinners and Sunday lunches with us. One of them for even longer than that. I was shocked at the lack of reciprocity tbh! They seemed to think that being young and present was enough 😁😬. And fair enough, they did pitch up I suppose!

Sorry op! That rant was no help to you whatsoever!

Are they pathetic or are they just not interested in dating?

I met mine 5 years ago through a mutual friend.

Before that, I enjoyed a period of time on my own after my marriage ended. I knew I'd be happy whether I remained single or met someone.

People do meet people and generally I have found that if a man is interested in you, he will make an effort to chat.

It’s perhaps my age, but I don’t actually think that x that most men are pathetic. Perhaps it’s just younger men, who I’m not interested in anyway.

Maybe it's you, not them if so many are responding to you like this 🤷‍♂️

Who knows really but it's worth considering rather than blaming roughly half the world's population.

Perhaps men are more discerning!

I'm well presented and fun but these days when I show any interest in men at all they have no idea how to respond, they either scuttle off looking terrified or don't engage in any conversation just stand around looking into space.

Has it occurred to you that they simply don’t fancy you?

Why should they be interested in you just because you show an interest in them?

It’s really odd to think men are ‘pathetic’ because they’re not interested in you. Being ‘well presented and fun’ doesn’t mean everyone will want to date you.

I’m pretty sure any man who said “Women are pathetic because they don’t want to talk to me when I approach them, even though I’m well presented and fun” would be quite rightly told not to be such an entitled twat.

This. And if this guy felt the need to tell you he wasn’t interested it maybe that you’re giving ‘desperate’ vibes so they run a mile.

I’m pretty sure any man who said “Women are pathetic because they don’t want to talk to me when I approach them, even though I’m well presented and fun” would be quite rightly told not to be such an entitled twat.

They'd be called an incel for sure.

Doesn’t sound as though people are drawn to you. Do you have girlfriends?

And there we have it. It must be the womans fault. I was waiting for this response because there is always one bitter fellow woman hater.
Sadly I havent met 50% of the billions of people who live on this planet so I couldnt possibly say.

Do you have any girlfriends? Friends generally?

I can’t say this is something I or any of my female friends have commented on, and for a man to have explicitly said he doesn’t want to date etc I do think there’s probably some vibe coming from you OP

Are you saying it's 100% impossible that it could be your fault?

That makes you sound even more narcissistic than your opening post.

If 'bitter woman hater' is your only response to someone asking you to perhaps look more inwardly, due to the fact you do seem to be experiencing this problem a lot, then I'd say I'm not too far from the truth.

Men are allowed to not fancy you without being pathetic.

But I suspect that's too much of a shock for you to cope with.

It is really tough OP. I feel your pain as a divorced 40 something I’m also close to chucking in the towel. Dating apps suck and have just turned it into a game.
Perhaps it’s just a sign of the times and our now heavily internet dominated lives. We are losing our social skills gradually and no longer sure how to relate to each other, to flirt, to show interest. It’s really sad, but it seems to be what it genuinely happening for a lot of us.

'Sadly I haven't met 50% of the billions of people who live on this planet so I couldn't possibly say.'

But in your thread title you did say!

You would have received more helpful responses if you had asked for tips or advise on how to meet men, if that's is what you want.

If you think that men are pathetic, then you just carry on and think that. No amount of posting or saying that anywhere is going to actually change your life in any way. It's not constructive, it's incorrect and it's not helpful to anyone (least of all you).

As a general rule I wouldn't be attracted to someone who thought of me as pathetic. In fact I'd run a mile. Especially if I found he was online starting threads saying how we are all the same and then justifying this by describing a time he talked to one woman who turned him down.

Not interested in dating. They have porn and onlyfans for that.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Thanks, I needed that!

Guys are allowed to be not interested in you.

The might be interested in you but also prefer to be single.

So no man has ever asked you out? Since you were, what, a teenager? How old are you? I find that strange tbh. Trying not to sound horrible here but maybe you give off some kind of vibes that you’re just not interested in anyone?

And yet you have just written of 50% of the population.