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I think my son cheated and now they're back together.

4 replies

Rockstick · 16/02/2026 12:39

They were very young (20 and 21) and had been together for 18 months when his GF contacted me to say she wouldn't be coming on a planned weekend away because he had been "talking to" someone else.

I don't really know what that means but I gather in young people speak it's more than having a chat with an aqauintance. Actually unfaithful? I don't know.

All I got from DS at the time was that they'd split up but he was fine. He did indeed seem fine, with no visible signs that he was in the least bit upset.

If there was someone else, I don't think it came to anyhting, as he didn't leave the house much apart from work for the next few months.

Anyway, six month later they were back together and six months after that they've renting a home together and talking about buying somewhere.

I'd always thought I'd help with a first house purchase. There was some life insurance when his dad died, which although technically belongs to me, I've always considered to be for DC at an appropriate time.

However, although I like the GF, I'm not very confident in this relationship. Mainly because I don't know how she trusts him again, which will have an impact their relationship. Also once people start that breaking up/getting back together cycle it never seems to work out long term.

I don't know any real details, and don't want to. I've talked to DS generally about the harm dishonesty and secrets do in a relationship, and he's made suitable noises of agreement. He says he did something stupid (but not what it was) and has learnt his lesson, which I hope is true, but that doesn't make the hurt she felt go away.

But, the only bit that is my business is whether I give them (him?) some money to help with the house purchase. WWYD?

OP posts:
Fishchipspeascupoftea · 16/02/2026 12:44

Have you got other dc, if so will you be giving them money?
Could you give it only if its ring fenced?

ResusciAnnie · 16/02/2026 12:46

Loads of couple who get together young break up then get back together. I broke up with DH when I was 19 an now we’ve been married 15 years. Some might even argue that was sensible - for as many people like you who disapprove, there are people who disapprove of settling down too young.

Give your son money if you want to, just make it clear it’s just for him if you so desire. Put it in writing I spose.

Meadowfinch · 16/02/2026 12:48

You could ringfence the deposit.

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ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/02/2026 12:51

If you can protect the deposit id do that. I wouldn’t be judging their relationship and thinking about the details and how she’s able to trust etc, its non of
your business and won’t help your relationship with them.

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