I have finally admitted to myself that I’m burned out. Possibly more than burned out and heading towards a mental health crisis.
My son is 15 and has struggled with school since year 7. Long periods of non attendance, watching his mental health decline, fighting for assessments and an EHCP against a non supportive school, figuring out a new way to parent him, and trying be a present parent for my youngest, all while working full time.
My son has now got a place at a lovely small school for neurodivergent children, but is so low and socially anxious hes struggling to get through the door. Work are being difficult with me having to leave to take him in, the workload is intense and the team is tiny so can’t even share work out as everyone is beyond capacity.
Two of my grandparents have died in the last couple of months, one in a fairly horrific accident. I only had 2 days off for each, the funeral & the day after. My parents are travelling the world until late this year so aren’t around to support. I have a wonderful partner thankfully, but he has noticed the decline in my mental health and tells me every week to get signed off.
I’m beyond exhausted. I’m having panic attacks and spend every week day in a state of anxiety trying to bounce between my son and work until evening hits and every ounce of life drains from me. I have no patience, I’m snappy, I have no energy or drive for things that bring me joy. We’re eating a lot of crappy food because I have little capacity to cook anything most evenings. Im having intrusive thoughts about harming myself. I am Not suicidal, I just want to… not be. Im desperate for some peace. I want my son to be ok. I’m in pure survival mode, and only just achieving that.
im seeing the gp this week and speaking to my manager.
i just needed to get this down somewhere.
please feel free to share your experiences of burnout or getting signed off. Anything will me feel less alone.