Don't know whether it's a good thing or not that ds said this....

[coffeerevelsrule]

I can't even remember what the conversation was but he said the sibling relationship is stronger than the parent/child relationship. I said no way and he said it was because you know them all your life. He said both he and ds1 (they're 16 and 18) tell each other more than they tell me, and would tell each other about new relationships before me for example. That does make sense obviously as they are close in age.

I mean he knows nothing of parental love and I don't have siblings, so we both only know one of the relationships. I consider us all close and love that they are close. But I don't think he's right. What do other people think of the sibling relationship?

I'm the youngest of 5.

My sibling relationship wasn't stronger than the one with my parents it was just different.

Haha my twins hate each other

I think teens are more likely to confide in their siblings because they won’t be in trouble if they’ve done something wrong! I know that my brother listened to my advice more than my parents’ (2 years younger than me). I guess my experience was more relevant to him than theirs would have been as I was so much closer in age.

as a pp said, not closer, but different.

Sorry op but watching my kids get older and now my mum is elderly and we regularly have to chat about her without her knowing I’d say yes, different relationship but siblings are closer in a bond. Of course they’re part of you and always will be and you’ll share a special love but your relationship changes. Funny seeing it now with my teens, Id be thinking ‘what you went to him and not me?’ but I would have done the same!

Depends on the individual relationships and personalities.

Oh that reminds me of a couple of years ago when we were all sharing a hotel room and I was half asleep and they were talking about their dad, his lack of job and relationship with his mother. They then asked if I was awake and, while briefly tempted for a split second to fake sleep,I let them know I was awake - goodness knows what I would have heard as they certainly had the measure of their dad! DS2 definitely takes advice from DS1 that he wouldn't from me. I do hope they remain close.

I remember now what we were discussing. DS was telling me about some author he likes who has apparently defended her rapist son. He was outraged and asked if I'd defend DS1 in that situation and I said no but I don't think I'd disown him either and he said he would. I then said ok but he's not his mother.

ah ok that’s a tough/ vety out there scenario so!! Yes I do hear them having conversations and think it would be very unusual for them to say those things to me although we do have very honest conversations!!

In my experience, it’s just different. I have 2 sisters and we absolutely would tell each other things we would never have told my parents - from partners in crime as small children, through teens and beyond. I think as well, my sisters and I , being close in age, experience the world differently than our parents did, so that alters our view point. But we definitely kept secrets from our parents.

My parents most definitely loved us unconditionally and we were lucky that they supported us emotionally. If they judged they kept it to themselves.

My 2 are super close and great friends, they aren't bio siblings but have always lived with each other as DSS came to live with me full time when tiny.
DS moved out a few years ago into his own home but DSS is there so much!
They do tell each other everything, support each other and at times tell the other when they are wrong/out of order etc.
If there are big issues they include me but I normally find out second hand, I love that they have this bond as when we are gone they will have each other.