Sister and sil fallen out

[WhyWomen26]

sister got married and our sil that lives other end of the country came up for the wedding with our younger brother
they have no kids yet not married yet but recently engaged, been together ten years already and both have a busy social and work life , high paying jobs and lifestyle etc
(not sure that’s relevant but thought a bit of background)
we don’t see them that often but thought nice enough

now here’s why my sister is really upset as sil wore a long white all in one suit to her wedding and was in the photos obviously

I don’t know what to think myself
I always thought never wear white to a wedding anyway but it was a suit kinda style
I can see why it was taken badly and family are talking about her now

but just wondering what others think about the white at a wedding??
I think it’s a bit of a no and it’s a shame my sister’s upset about it
but I won’t be falling out with sil I’m not thinking it was cruel intentions just maybe thoughtless or it’s just her style and it’s probably normal in the social groups she moves in

im trying to make my sister feel better by saying this but just wondering what others people think too?

I’ve added a photo of said suit it’s not the exact but sort of similar and was probably a very expensive piece of attire and I’m not saying I don’t like it because I do! Just not sure it’s wedding occasion

Yep… here’s a lovely dress suggestion…

Get your sister to wear pure white to SILs wedding.

Can you imagine the roasting SIL would have got if she'd asked MN if it was okay to wear to a wedding... 😄

Anyway, yes to editing the colour - not out of malice but literally so as not to draw the eye from the bride.

Agree with others, get photos edited.

I think white at a wedding is fine unless it looks like bridal wear. Haven’t seen any brides wear jumpsuits. Tell your sister to stop following the internet norms and do what works for her. If sil is a good person then go with that version.

Is your sister in law young? I honestly had never knew/heard of this before being on MN, I wore a cream dress to a wedding when I was really young and every time I see one of these threads I am mortified that the bride or any of the other guests thought I was being offensive, I had genuinely never been aware of before.

Oh love this! 😂

SiL sounds old enough to have known better…. 👀 Keep an eye on her, could be important…

I wonder if it matters more now that dresses are often sleeker. A few decades ago when meringues were the thing, an ordinary white or cream dress would be less likely to seem bridal.

Also, it really isn’t anything to get too hung up about. The younger lot probably care much less about it, it is more of a traditional behaviour/thought process…

🤷‍♀️

Isn’t it sort of obvious though?

If it was a pretty universal tradition in the country that for every birthday party, the birthday person always wore an all red outfit, you probably wouldn’t wear an all red outfit to a birthday party as a guest.

If i’d been at the wedding and come across her in the loos i dont think id have been able to stop myself from giving her some passive aggressive feedback with an eyebrow raise and a “nice suit, brave choice for someone elses wedding?”

It just goes to show you can have a high flying well paid job but zero common sense.

I would err on the side of unintentional mistake. Yes, it does make sense that you don’t wear all white/ ivory/ cream to a wedding but younger people tend not to care for this stuff. She saw an outfit she loved and wore it to the wedding - that’s probably the limit to the thought process.

Yes to editing the colour of the outfit. Perhaps a pale lemon or very pale blue. If anyone ever comments on the change, feign surprise at the change which is probably to do with the lighting etc.

yes, this. Your sister is fully entitled to be annoyed but there's no real benefit to kicking off.

If she is quite young and there's never been any other issues then I'd lean towards the 'just didn't know' explanation - if your sister and brother get along as well normally that suggests he also didn't know as otherwise surely he'd tell his partner not to be a dick when she showed him what she was wearing.

Your dsil knew exactly what she was doing!!
Look at me everone, attention seeking at it's finest 😂

I really can’t think that anyone would wear that without intending to thunder steal. Really bizarre

I’m assuming your sister is already planning her outfit for your brothers wedding!!!

Similar post previously, and I’ll say the same.
It’s etiquette and respect. If you’ve been raised with standards and manners, you’d never upstage the bride, whoever they are. SIL needs to apologise.