What do you wish you'd planned/discussed before trying for baby no. 2?

[ridl14]

DH and I very happy, both tired but absolutely love being parents! Have one DS, age 1, lovely age. We're planning to start TTC a second around summer so there would be at least a 2 year age gap between them. I'll be 34 later this year and we'd like a smaller age gap, especially as we'd like to consider 3 kids total once we've seen how we go with 2.

I'd keep DS in nursery part time during another mat leave so 3 days a week. DH has one of those WFH jobs that can expand and fill lots of hours but he's always been really hands on around the house. I've been on baby duty basically all the time and recently gone back to work. We agree we need to split things differently with a second and he's trying to work a lot now to dial it back when we have another (he owns a business and has a job, mainly picks his hours).

I've heard different things from mums of 2+ about how I'll find it, I understand I'll need to chill out on some of my PFB behaviour for a start. Any advice on:

• juggling naps
• how you split childcare/cooking/cleaning with DH
• second pregnancy, presumably a lot harder, any tips?
• anything you look back and would do differently!

I’m 6 months pregnant with my second, so giving this a bump as I’d like to know as well!

If it helps, I’ve found this pregnancy similar to my first. I’m much more fatigued, but morning sickness was milder. So it might not be worse? No tips to cope, except be kind to yourself and lean on support! I’ve even had a few days off sick at work when I felt the fatigue was too intense so I could send DD to nursery and just sleep all day. And I’m planning to start maternity leave a bit sooner (3 weeks before due date), again to support me in conserving strength.

Thank you! The fatigue makes sense 🫂 morning sickness being milder would be amazing! I just remember having so many naps and there's no way next time round unless I timed them with nursery days as you suggested!

Great idea to start mat leave sooner. I went to just over 38 weeks last time and my DS came 5 days early. Luckily had a few days off at least!

I was doing loads of yoga as well, that's out the window now 😂 maybe running round after a toddler would compensate physically, not exactly calming though!

I know a number of mums of two, obv with that age gap there's usually some nursery days involved but I'd love to know how people juggle two together. Especially now not to negatively affect your relationship with your oldest 🙏🏼

Fatigue in early and late pregnancy was an issue for me, so make sure your DH can be around to take over early evenings if this is an issue. I potty trained dc1 several months before dc2 was due (just over 2 and a half year age gap) and this was helpful. Current advice (ERIC) is not to time it round time of new sibling but not to leave it beyond 30 months either. As for timing naps etc, dc2 amazingly fits into your life with dc1. There is not the culture shock with dc2, so I found it much easier to adapt to having two dc than I did to one. Good luck x

Thank you, this is so helpful! I'm tempted to try over this summer just from having time to be consistent and warmer weather but think my DS might be a bit young, 17/18 months though I have heard of people PTing successfully at that age.