This is it. Almost time to hand over the keys to my mother's house and 60 years of memories.

[Tolkienista]

It's been a while coming but it's almost here. Just two weeks to go until a home full of memories and everything I ever knew growing up from starting school to being a fully fledged adult is about to be handed over to a new owner.
My mother is now in a care home and bit by bit we've stripped back memories, by removing photos, mementoes and anything special to our family.
I don't know how I feel ..... nostalgic, yes. Sad, yes. However we can't go through another winter looking after it and hoping we don't get a burst pipe, or a gas leak.......we've had them both in the last year!
Any fellow M' Netters who've been through it, please share your coping strategies.

I had a similar situation, although "only" 40 years. In the months running up to the sale, I spent a significant amount of time photographing the rooms, and details of the house, from '70 wallpaper to door knobs.

I created a short film, and a book that I shared with my siblings and the new owners. For me it was a great way to deal with the end of a huge chapter in my life.

@MySweetGeorgina
I had my best friend from primary come for a sleepover on the last day in my , by then almost bare, childhood home. We went out in town, and just slept in the loft one last time 😁 we are both 55
This is such a lovely thing to do. I might suggest my oldest friend and I do this should the day come. She and I lived in my parents attic room when she had to leave home as a teen.
Or maybe with my siblings, one last time.

@Tolkienista It must be a very bittersweet time. Like you say, all the memories, but I guess not having to worry about the house and potential issues again as it's merits.
Someone I follow on Instagram went through a similar thing recently. Her parents downsized from their childhood home and they went back one last time to look at the views from their childhood bedroom window, incidentally which was over Avebury stone circle.

It will be a relief and a release for you.

The memories will go with you in your heart.

Did that with my DF's place. He was there for just over 60 years (with my DM until she died) and I was there until I left home at 22. A very sad and sentimental moment. I still look at the place from time to time on Google streetview.

It’s 3.5 years since my Mum downsized from the home she and my dad lived in from before I was born. I was dreading moving day but actually, locking the door behind us was a relief.

Like all the others have said, the memories haven’t gone but the worry about maintaining a house that didn’t work properly anymore with a struggling elderly parent have. Mum moved to live near my sibling and neither of us live close to the old family home.

Our house was bought by a young family who already lived in the village. We went to visit the neighbours last year and they were full of joy at how it was like when we were all children with kids playing out in the street again.

My family home was sold to a lovely young family who were thrilled to have it. The excitement was plain all over their faces. That made it okay for us. A new family to fill the house with memories. That's the way it should be. I drove past recently and there was a kid's bike lying on the front grass. That made me happy.

My in-laws' house went to a developer who will have torn it to pieces. That was harder. Like a pp said, the thought of the garden they loved so much being all torn up.
We took cuttings and lifted bulbs. So we have things we can see in our own garden to remind us of them.

It's such a strange and upsetting time. Even if you now have your own home and you're happy and settled there. I hope you're okay op x

I sold my parents' home of 60 years 18 months ago. I cleared everything and kept a few things and thought I would be devastated to hand over the keys.

The House was empty and I looked around and realised it was not the house which had memories but that those memories were in me. It was just a house and it was time for another family to make memories in it.

I've been out all day .......and yes at my mother's house too continuing the clear out. So it's been lovely to see all the extra posts that came in overnight. Walking around the house today did evoke memories, but as many have said it will be lovely to see new people in the house creating new memories.
My mother's health is in rapid decline at the moment and I'm almost scared that if she dies in the coming week we're going to be preparing for her funeral at the same time as getting the house ready to hand over.

It's all so stressful.

Absolutely, but let yourself feel the feelings, too. Don't try to force yourself to feel a certain way. It's OK to feel sad and ambivalent as well as relieved you won't need to spend another year worried about repairs and maintenance.

This was me 2 years ago. My heart goes out to you. Its so very hard. I still have to go past the house every day. At first I had to look away.
Be gentle with yourself it will take time.

My parents house was one that they had built for them . I was a teenager and my siblings were younger . All of us travelled , emigrated, bounced back and I regularly visited and stayed with my kids . Parents died within 18 months of each other but still lived at home . When we had to sort it out there was stuff that was 40 years old like cooking pots , ornaments. We each took things we wanted and I still like to see them in their houses . The house was sold to a relative of mine and they did some huge renovations as it was a 70s house that needed it . But they loved it and are raising two little girls there . I still pass it and see what a great job they have made and smile .

I never got the chance to say goodbye to the house as, despite my request to do it differently, we exchanged and completed at the same time.

Ive dreamt about that house a few times a week since we sold it in 2018, so I hope you get the opportunity to say goodbye properly.

Sorry to read this, it's all so tough - your mum, the house, all of it.

I am really struggling with loss at the moment (lost a beloved, though difficult, MIL last year, my elderly mum is very frail, my oldest friend has terminal illness) and have struggled with negative thoughts.

I've found it very helpful to stop when I catch myself ruminating on the loss and making myself remember what I am grateful for.

"I'm so grateful I had 30 years of a brilliant MIL and got to support her through her last year. I'm so grateful I've a mum who I love and I get to support her through this hard bit. I'm so grateful for the amazing friendship with my BFF."

It feels absolutely mechanical and quite fake, but I think it does help counteract the gloom that our minds keep pulling back to when we are grieving.

So you might just make yourself say mentally " I am so grateful to have had that happy home to go back to for 60 years".

It does help, but I also think there is a process of coming to terms with loss that just takes time. So be gentle with yourself.

My DM was killed in a car accident at 69, my DF had died some years earlier at 54. I had to empty the family home of over fifty years whils arranging a fundal, winding up her estate and dealing with the police and coroner. Worst time of my life.
The house was emptied and sold and keys handed over almost three months to the day of the accident, just before Xmas, all very quick. I don’t know if that made it easier. She wasn’t a hoarder, quite the opposite, and it has made me very conscious of avoiding tat and clutter. I still live ten minutes away, the accident was ten years ago this year and I’ve only driven past it twice since.

OP I can feel the swirling of emotions through your posts. We bought a house which had been lived in by just one family for fifty years. We took time to learn what the family was like during the buying process. There were memories of them everywhere; shelves they’d build, just little bits and bobs that represented them. We’ve kept all those. We so loved knowing that their 50 years there were happy ones, and it has felt honourable to not strip their history away.

I’m going through it now. My wonderful mam died in October and 60 odd years of memories are on the market. I’m devastated. I was going to keep it but you have to let things go. Memories will live forever though ❤️

I was back in UK last year and thought I would drive past my Mum's house to see how it looked.
The front garden had tall weeds growing and my first thought was that it was definitely not hers any more as she would never have allowed the weeds to grow like that.😁

Never had an unhappy visit to the place and my mum was always a fantastic host, so many visitors over the years all welcomed with a smile and lots of food.

what a wonderful way of remembering all those happy times. It must feel very painful and bitter-sweet at the moment, but cherishing those memories is such a gift you'll always have 🌹 your mum sounds amazing x

Just handed over keys to DF house. Not where I grew up but where he died so it took a
long time for me to be emotionally ready to give it up.
in the end the stress and expense of the house and the fact that I realised as a pp said that memories are in you and not in a house helped.
take photos and cuttings and sit In the house awhile.

Thank you......so amazing.
An amazing mother, grandmother and great grandmother.
Yesterday was one of the saddest days in the last two years.
Her beloved grandsons came to visit her. They knew it was going to be a difficult visit, stayed for the best part of an hour.
She was asleep most of the time and didn't recognise them when she awoke.
It feels like the end is coming.

I feel for you, it sounds like such a tough time too. Remember though, although you are handing over the keys and the physical building, the memories will still be yours. The building itself is not the memories, those live in the moments you shared and enjoyed and no one can buy or sell those.

@DemonsandMosquitoes That sounds so tough. 54 and 69 are no age at all, and you coped with so much. I hope that you have good memories and a place that you can go that was special to you all, even if you didn't have the house . . .

I'm going through this now, my mum died many years ago and my dad last year.

Planning to put their home of 55 years up for sale at the end of the month and I feel sick at the thought. I grew up there, and my dad kept everything, so I'm finding childhood toys etc. (1970's wallpapered wardrobes anyone?!)

It's the last connection to my parents and I don't want to let it go.

But at the same time my lovely mum and dad aren't there any more, and the upkeep/stress is making me quite depressed. So it needs to go and I can hopefully move on mentally.

I'm heartbroken, you have my sympathy OP xxx

I haven't been through it but I have it to come. My DM is 89 and she and my dad moved into their house in 1965 when I was 18 months old. I grew up there and moved out at 26. I go back every week to visit. Dad died in 2017 and mum is now frail. I dread the time when I'll have to go through all the possessions, empty and sell the house. It's been part of me for 60 years and the thought of another family living there and me no longer being able to go inside is a weird feeling.

Having been through this with both mine and my husband's parental homes it is a wrench. That said, the stress of having an empty property and checking it through the year was worse!
A leak through the flat roof of my mother in law's house caused lots of damage because it was weeks before we revisited to find it .
I found it was best to save meaningful items and spread them throughout my own house and garden so that the memories are there without the stress.
I also have loads of pictures from family events through the years and play a slideshow of them as the screensaver on my home computers.
That way I see the rooms and gardens as I always remember them and don't need the physical bricks and mortar.