This is it. Almost time to hand over the keys to my mother's house and 60 years of memories.

[Tolkienista]

It's been a while coming but it's almost here. Just two weeks to go until a home full of memories and everything I ever knew growing up from starting school to being a fully fledged adult is about to be handed over to a new owner.
My mother is now in a care home and bit by bit we've stripped back memories, by removing photos, mementoes and anything special to our family.
I don't know how I feel ..... nostalgic, yes. Sad, yes. However we can't go through another winter looking after it and hoping we don't get a burst pipe, or a gas leak.......we've had them both in the last year!
Any fellow M' Netters who've been through it, please share your coping strategies.

I had my best friend from primary come for a sleepover on the last day in my , by then almost bare, childhood home. We went out in town, and just slept in the loft one last time 😁 we are both 55

she chose a few mementos (mugs she remembered from when e we were kids) and the next day my brother came, and e we all said goodbye to the house and I left the keys with a professional house clearance company who FaceTimed me when it was done. They took the keys to the Estate Agents.

that is how I coped last year, it was ok.

had a little cry but it also felt right, hope it goes well for you, it is a big task but also quite a relief once it is done.

I feel for you. I wasn’t particularly happy growing up, but I dreamed of my childhood home for many years. I still look at it on Google Earth sometimes. It’s a wrench. I do understand and hope that in time you can come to terms with this xx

It’s an emotional time- a lifetime of memories - in my case happy ones, of a much-loved family home.

I took plenty of photos when it was empty (inside & out) and of the exterior. I then commissioned a local artist to draw a sketch of it, and had it framed.

My mum downsized to a smaller property, but in her 80’s it was too much & she needed a care home within a year, then died after 12 weeks in the care home.

Hold on to these lovely memories xx

My DM died in a care home, and a few years later my DD downsized to a retirement flat. There was a gap between him moving and the sale of the house they bought as newlyweds.

I did the final lock-up, I filmed a walk through the house. I'd already written a letter for the new owners, with practical information but also wishing them well in what was a family home. I left the letter, chocs and wine; and I said a final goodbye to my Mum even though she had left the house some 5 years earlier and hadn't died there, but she loved that house

Thanks for your replies so far and yes to many suggestions. Definitely going to take multiple pictures.......if it ever stops raining!
We'll definitely get back together in the house.
Lots of happy memories, my parents absolutely loved the house. My mum has stopped talking about it as cognitive decline has set in.
It's been a mainstay in my life.
Never had an unhappy visit to the place and my mum was always a fantastic host, so many visitors over the years all welcomed with a smile and lots of food.

When I closed the door for the last time on my parents’ house, I felt nothing. I loved the thought of a new family moving in and enjoying this house that had been full of people and laughter for so long. The weeks of clearing as it became increasingly echoey had chipped away at it feeling like the home I grew up in. My son filmed a walk-through of the empty house which was poignant but it no longer has sentimental value to me.

I was lucky enough to go back 6 months later and see the new family moved in and how they’d knocked down walls, modernised and improved the house. It was lovely and very ‘circle of life’.

My Mum rented her house for over 60 years from estate my Dad used to work for for a very cheap subsidised rent. Me and all but my eldest sister were born there. When Mum died it took my sister's and 1 about 2 months to empty her home. On last day we had a photo taken all sitting on the stairs. I've looked at that photo many times and we all look devistated in it. I live 150 miles away but 2 of my sister's live locally and when I drive down to visit them I can't drive past my Mum's house. I remember it as it was with a back garden brimming full of flowers. It was sold after Mum died and new owners ripped out all flowers and bulbs and slabbed complete back garden. My sister saw it and cried when we thought of the hundreds of hours Mum spent gardening and on her knees planting bulbs and flowers. It was so beautiful. We did take a few cuttings from fushias for our own gardens and a few snowdrop bulbs to go on Mums grave before we left it.

Certainly an end of an era that I can fully understand with her emotional about. I would take lots of photos to be able to look at whenever you need to.

Oh @Tolkienista I could have written so much of your post, except my Dad had also lived in the house as a boy. I loved that house and garden, and they were my ultimate safe and happy place. It broke my heart to let it go but I spent an entire winter fretting about damp and cold (it was a very cold house and my parents were frugal with heating), and being anxious about the garden, whether it would be targeted by burglars, if pipes would freeze and burst, whether I'd turned the thermostat off etc etc.
In our case, my Mum had died quite suddenly and my Dad some years earlier. I think my Mum knew something was wrong with her health as she'd done lots of organising in the house but there was still so much to do.
When the time came to go, I'd cleared almost everything and the removal men took most of the contents away the day before we finally left. The last night there I spent with my Mum's two best friends and her beloved neighbours: they brought their own chairs and we sat in the kitchen just reminiscing and celebrating what a special place it was. I slept there on my own and just went into each room and said goodbye and thanked the house for keeping us all safe and being such a wonderful part of our family. My son came with a van the next day and we loaded up the last bits and left. I had to stop at the services on the motorway and I sobbed for about an hour, proper ugly crying!
It helped hugely to know how much the new family there loved it, that it was going to be looked after properly and lived in and cared for again. It also helped to know I'd dealt with everything as my mum would have wished me to and that everyone in the family and her closest friends had items they'd treasure. In the end it proved to be enormously freeing and a huge weight off my mind, but I still miss it and sometimes dream I'm back there again.
I've been back once, about six years later, when I was visiting, bumped into the new owner and he invited me in......I couldn't have done it before then. They'd done so much to it and he was absolutely beaming with pride and telling me that they completely love the place and it's their forever home so that makes me happy. The very best of luck and well done on coming this far!

It's horrible when that day comes . I walked around the house touching the walls , sat on the back doorstep where I used to help my mum shell peas or watch a thunderstorm .
Ten years on I can still remember those childhood memories , so I expect you will also .
We carry them in our heart .

I asked my cousin how she coped when her family house went (worried about how I will deal with it when my parents home of 55+ years has to go) and she simply said nothing would take her memories.
I find it a comforting thing to think.

Oh I love all these extra posts and can empathise with many of your experiences.
It will be sad to close the door for the final time, but in reality it will be an enormous weight off my mind because I'm the one who lives closest and I'm in charge of her financial affairs too.....all utilities, insurance etc.
It's been a huge commitment since she went into a care home 18 months ago.

Yes, exactly the same situation. Mum in care and a family home of 60+ years. I had one last walk round filming with my phone. Took the meter readings and left. It was sad, but also a relief. The last couple of years in the house had not been easy for my mum. The usual old-age issues. My siblings and I kept a couple of small items each. Nothing expensive. Just things that we remembered being there since our childhood. The memories will always stay with you.

I had to do this with my Auntie's house. I just thought of it as passing the baton to another family so they too could fill it with happy family memories. We sold it to a young couple with a toddler and another on the way.

"Go in peace. I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil."

And also

"You are my heir. All that I had, or might have had, I leave to you. You have so much to enjoy, and to do, and to be."

Ah it is the whimsical nature of life. These houses will have a new chapter. I found out about 20 years ago that the starter home that my parent had me in was bought by a close childhood friend’s sister and was their first starter home. I occasionally do a drive by past my old family home and that of my grandparents. I saw a for sale sign up and ( as I do- checked on rightmove and saw that since 2001 when my grandparent died and house was sold that for the last 20 years they had loved and cared for that house and made it another lovely family
home. Equally, so was talking to a neighbour about Maureen (old owner of my house) and what she’d think of what I’d done and she simply said “she would have loved to see it be such a warm family home” (she was a teacher, as am I). And o do often thank Maureen (who, obviously, I never met) for giving me such a lovely house. I still dream about my old family home and my grandparents’ homes so they will always be there.

My mum found her house increasingly difficult, upstairs bathroom,mobility issues etc. So in a way it was a relief not to have to navigate that and try and solve all the problems when she went into a care home. She had dementia and was happy in her care home. I was sad but also happy that another family could enjoy the house.

It was hard clearing out the memories but they never leave you.

I hope it all goes well. It will be nice for the house to be lived in again. Empty houses feel sad.

I found it very hard when the removal company cleared out everything and the only family home I could remember, over 50 years, was just a shell. The kitchen still felt like my mother’s home though, I guess because of the fitted units, kettle etc.

there was an IKEA nearby and I went and sat in a lovely cosy sitting room there as I needed to feel the comfort of furniture. It was hard, but for me unavoidable to do it alone, if you can have support in some way I’d advise taking it.

Totally understand. My parents owned my childhood home for 63 years and I had to close the door for the last time, when Dad went into care 3 years ago.

I found the photos we had taken helpful, but I got real closure very recently when I accidentally spotted it for sale, on street google. Seeing the lovely renovations that the new owners had done, bringing the house back to life was great. I just knew that Mum and Dad would have loved what they had done.

Cherish the memories, but if you know any neighbours, you could ask them to let you know if it ever goes in the market again. I would have loved the chance to revisit, and go inside!

This Is such a beautiful thread.

Just wanted to say that I’ve been there and it’s shite. Hope you’re OK OP 💐

This is so sad. My mum.and dad both died in my family home. We sold it last year to a developer who turned it into bedsits. I stripped out loads of original victorian brass hooks to keep. I always have a part of my home with me now. Also the original victorian front door with eched glass. I still feel a bit sad as it was always home wherever I lived.

I took lots of photos. I just think that the money will help me set my kids up when we get to that point. I still miss it. I'm going to pop down with kids next week actually to see mums plaque at the crem so might drive past. Still expect to see mum waving goodbye on the doorstep.

I can still walk through my childhood home in my memories though I left in 1987. I can see the loose piece of parquet that I hid things under as a child, move the curtain on a dividing wall to see my siblings' and my height measurements on the wall, hear my dad's classical music and smell his cigar smoke in his study. It's all still there, though my folks sold 35 years ago and died more than 20 years ago.
It's never gone, it's just moved on xx

Similar situation in that mum had to move to a care home as the house had so much work needed, and she couldn’t live in it. After a health crisis she finally realised that it had to go. My childhood home, I loved the house but not all brilliant memories, so very mixed. The sheer enormity of the task of clearing it kept the sadness at bay, until the day the keys were handed over. I was ok right up until I was going home, popped into my local M&S and saw amaryllis on sale. I had never grown one before and a very curious thought formed that I had to get one - when I got closer I saw there was a variety with the same name as the road the house is on (quite an unusual name), I bought one each for me, my sister and my mum, and I cried all the way home because it hit me that I would never be that house again.
I can still summon up the kitchen, how it sounded, where my mother used to sit with tea and a fag, how warm it was, the weird microwave that lasted about 35 years. Memories won’t fade.