To move or not to move (house) - help me decide

[Keha]

DH and I need to make a decision on moving house and are paralysed with indecision. We dont have to move for a specific reason, it's about what we want our lifestyle to be like. We are not talking about a big move, just to another part of our city (20 mins or so drive, more in rush hour). We have one DC in KS1 of school and another in nursery. Feels like we need to make a decision now as our mortgage needs renewing and we don't want to move two kids mid primary school.

Current house, 3 bed semi, in a safe but non descript suburban sprawl. Not much going on. No particular connection to the area, have lived here about 7 years. Bought because it was affordable and near work. If we stay we'll extend. We like our actual house but always feels a bit grey driving back into the area. Both have a 20 min commute, but don't know if I'll stay in my job long term. Grandparents 45 mins away, they do regular childcare.

Area we might move to...more of a small town feel, bars, cafes, nice shops. Has a regular market, annual festival. Closer to where I grew up, more sense of connection (although many of my friends have moved). Decent schools although not notably better than our current earlier. Nice green spaces. Would put us 20 mins from Grandparents and nearer other family. Would double my commute but not much impact for my DH. Would move DC school. Would be buying another 3 bed semi, but for more money so couldn't extend for at least 5 years. So basically will have smaller house for same money. May have to make other compromises like a smaller garden.

What would you do? What would be your priorities?

The costs of moving have put me off. Factor in estate agents, solicitors and stamp duty and then imagine what you could spend that on for your current house.

Yes, we have factored that into how much more we could spend on our current house. It's not insignificant, however costs of building and extension also seem extortionate so we could still only afford a smaller extension. We also can't really imagine spending the rest of our lives here, so even if we are talking about 15-20 years, we will move eventually. If we get a good house in the new area we may never need to move. But many ifs and buts and the costs all round are eye watering.

Yep do it now before kids get too settled.

The new area sounds like you will have an improved quality of life. It will also be nice for the children as they get a bit older and more independent to have shops etc.

I'd move. It's not great when you go home and aren't thinking I'm glad to be back.

Location and connection to the community is far more important to me than having a bigger house.

New place sounds like a much nicer place to live, and for your kids to grow up in. I'd move, 3 beds is fine, kids can share if you have overnight guests.

In this situation I would definitely move.

Home is where the heart is as they say

This. Also you’d be closer to grandparents. I would move.

That doubling of my commute would piss me off tbh 😅 but that’s just my opinion. How old are grandparents? Will they be doing childcare on a daily/weekly basis?

As you’re not sure if you’ll stay in your job long term the doubled commute doesn’t weigh that heavily in consideration.
EA and solicitors fees plus stamp duty are inevitable as you plan to move in 15-20 years anyway. A smaller garden and delayed extension are part of the compromise we make when buying properties.
Being in a more vibrant area, nearer to DGP who are providing childcare, having children who are young enough to easily change nursery and school sway the decision to move now. I’d go for it if I were you.

Thanks for all the answers. Seems like the consensus is that moving to the "nicer' area with more going on even if there are some sacrifices may well be worth it. Made me think about what will be good for kids as teenagers and there would be more for them to do round there. To answer some questions, DC are 3 and 5. Grandparents early 70s but fit and active. They will offer some help as long as they are well enough to, but as they get older id appreciate being near them in case I need to start helping them (it's also not just about childcare, see them most weeks socially as well).

I've had some people make me question my gut instinct that I want to move, saying it's not that far to make it worth it and the bigger house/garden is more important than the area.

Agree with this. We moved 12 years ago from an area and house that made my heart sink a little every time I went home, to a house and area I absolutely love and still feel so chuffed every time I get home.

If you can deal with the extra commute, go for it. For practical reasons, we had to move from our more central position in a market town, to the outskirts. We have lovely neighbours, the house is ok; most people would be very happy where we are, but it feels like suburbia to me. We will move again when able, and find somewhere that lights us up. Prefer an old house again, more countryside. My surroundings are important. Like to be near the centre of things or out. Not stuck in the middle.

I moved from city suburbs (dreary place closed to where I used to work) to a seaside town (closer to my partners parents) I decided that if I was to move my children (then 6 & 8) it would have to be an amazing place.

I got cancer so spend a lot of time in the drs. The drs waiting room looks out over the harbour so you can spot the seals and dolphins which are in abundance here. I then walk into town to the chemist and on the way can watch the fishing boats and nature.

my kids love their new schools but also love being able to go paddleboarding straight from school.

where you live makes a dramatic difference to your everyday life.

(*admittedly I live in a very nice up and coming Devon fishing town but it certainly beats walking around where I used to live.

I say go for it!

I agree with this too. I have lived in a house I didn’t like from day one for eight years now. I don’t like anything about the area either. Planning to move this year. I want to feel relief when I get home , not dread.

I would move if you have factored in all moving costs. Now is a good time before your children get settled in school.

Move. We do similar last year. Location is everything

Thank you all for taking time to respond. This has given me some motivation and inspiration to get on with it and try and move. We've had a couple of valuations already and have one more, then need to choose an estate agent. I think getting very close to putting our house on the market and a couple of comments from family/colleagues contributed to getting cold feet. However we've basically talked about it since we first moved here, and I think it'll always be at the back of my mind.

Did you move OP?