How do I help 5yo DS to sleep in his own room?

[Combifeeding]

First night in his bedroom tonight. Bedroom all done up - he was keen and excited to sleep in his own bed. He went off to sleep ok…ish. It’s been 2 hours but he is now crying wanting to come back to my bed.

I have happily co slept for 5 years but feel ready to have my bed back! I know we are only night one, but I’m unsure of how to handle the situation if/when he wakes crying and wanting to come back to my bed?

So my DS is now 6 and a half. From day one he hated sleeping alone and still prefers someone with him when he sleeps. He can and does go to sleep alone now and more often than not sleeps though alone. However sometimes he still comes in to us in the middle of the night and gets in bed with us. Sleep has been a real challenge for us for a long time. My thoughts based on my experience..:

1. prioritise sleep for everyone. Sleep deprivation is brutal. So if you need to, do what you need to make sure everyone sleeps.
2. the turning point for us was my son sleeping over at grandparents for the first time. He didn’t want to co sleep with them and so proved to himself he could sleep alone. After this things changed at home in terms of sleeping independently.
3. If he comes in to you upset I’d try once to settle him back in his own bed, if he’s tired enough he may just go back to sleep. I wouldn’t be trying multiple times though (again I’d be prioritising sleep for everyone) and then trying to slowly build up the time he stays asleep in his own bed.
4. to build up the time he can sleep alone consider what keeps him settled. For my son it’s white noise, cuddly toy, nightlight that goes green once its wake up time (although sometimes he completely ignores this 😂) for some things like weighted blankets or heartbeat toys work 🤷‍♀️
5. You could try some kind of reward system for when he successfully stays in his own bed. This didn’t work for us but has worked well for friends of mine.

Most importantly, trust your instinct in the moment. You are his mum and you will know what he needs and what’s best. Good luck!!

Chair in room near bed so you are not leaving him on his own, once asleep you leave. Over a few days gradually move the chair further away until you can be outside door.

I know you haven’t suggested it but don’t get frustrated with him or expect him to go from spending 5 years co sleeping with you to being able to sleep alone in his own room overnight. I think the best thing is to not give in and let him come back to your bed but to be understanding and reassure him every time he is unsettled. Maybe you can try the chair idea the pp mentioned