Did you leave the status quo? Would you?

[LittlePetitePsychopath]

DS is four, so we've just applied for school places for him... and I can't help but feel that I really don't want him to go.

We've applied for two lovely schools, they're well equipped, small but not too small, lovely communities, great OFSTED ratings, very well recommended locally. He's been to a handful of "taster" lessons at the one we put first, and loved them. He's excited to go.

But it feels so final. He does preschool twice a week at the moment - the initial plan was that he'd do 3 days a week from last summer and 4 from this January, but there's no availability - and I don't think he's got any real comprehension of how much more he'll be away. He loved preschool prior to the Christmas break but now says it's boring and asks repeatedly not to go, although they assure me that he's fine when he's there.

I'm self-employed, and have a decent amount of freedom. Pre-kids, I travelled a lot. Post-kids, I work strange hours and on the days that he's not at preschool, we go to science museums, playgroups, zoos, classes. He does football, gymnastics, theatre class. We build and cook and practice writing.

He's currently mad about cooking and desperate to travel to the places from cooking programs and books; like India and Australia 😂 If I worked REALLY hard for a bit, it's not out of the question that I could travel with him and we could worldschool for a bit... I'd love to teach him languages and culture. He's brilliant to explore with...

Or we could move to Spain. We've got visas, but didn't make the move last summer. DD was just a month old when the visas came through and it wasn't the right time. I've lived there before and DH thinks he'd like to, and it'd give DS and DD a second language, and if we stayed, a second passport...

How do you decide what to do, though? Breaking convention seems very scary, but so does staying stuck in the system. Until recently, we did a lot with DS' NCT group, we had quite a lot going on socially, but that's gradually getting more and more reduced as people prepare for school, I guess. We've no family here to worry about.

He’s excited to go to school and bored at preschool so he could well be ready and you can do languages at home - have “Spanish day” every Wednesday

there’s more ways than one to break the norm

it does slightly feel as though it’s you not DS that’s struggling with the change and growing up

If I had the means to live in Spain comfortably, you wouldn’t catch me here by the end of the week.

Go. You’re not going to like the lifestyle of full time school, and it’s 14 YEARS! If I’d been in your position I’d have left by now. Oh and the NCT friendships will likely get more reduced as the kids go off to different schools. Sure, you’ll make new friends but that will also happen wherever you are. Go go go!!

@itsthetea Oh yeah, he's being well conditioned to expect school, he knows no different. I'm sure he'd be fine wherever he was. Preschool are expecting him to go, and they're preparing him well. That's part of the concern! I have to choose what I think is best for him not just now, but in the future, and for DD, too. He's excited to go to school but has no idea that it'll be every day, and he also asks to go back to Spain all the time. He's four, I guess 🤷‍♀️

@canisquaeso My husband feels the same 😆

@ultracynic Yeah I think that's probably the case, as we've put different schools first, the group has splintered a bit and now it's less of a draw to stay. We spent 6 weeks in Spain last summer testing things out but he struggled with not seeing his friends, but we were seeing them a few times a week then. He's now asking to go back to Spain and saying he won't miss them this time 🥺

I wish we were a country that didn't send our kids to proper school until 6 or 7. Reception is supposed to be EYFS and easier, but not for everyone.

Go off and enjoy a year or 2 away, he won't lose anything by having the experience of abroad.

As regards your current situation. I do wonder if you are doing too much in the way of classes and not enough in terms of nursery/preschool if the aim was going to be to prepare him for school. Football, gymnastics and theatre class is a lot. These are all things many don't start until year 1 or 2. One after school club and one weekend activity whilst in first 2 years of school is more than enough, they are usually too tired for more than that.

@Denim4ever He can't do more nursery or preschool, sadly. He's been there since 18 months and we've been on the waitlist for more than 2 days since then, but the local ones are drastically oversubscribed. We've remained on the waitlist for all 6, but no spaces have come up, except a Monday slot that we turned down last year.

He chooses his classes, he's happy doing them and it keeps him busy. He does swimming and gymnastics on a Thursday, theatre on a Friday, football on a Monday. They keep him busy in the days! We also do lots of park trips and library trips and cooking etc, but we have five days together and we all like to be busy, I think.

He seems to do the same amount of classes as others we know, albeit different ones. One of his closest friends does preschool 3.5 days, plus tennis, football, a preschool dance class and swimming.

Perhaps it's my niavety at being a first time mum, but I had thought classes would be good for helping him listen to an instructor, socialise with friends his age and gain skills. We don't make him go to anything he doesn't like; minus pre-school, which hopefully he'll like again soon! The staff assure me he's absolutely fine when he's there. If he wanted to stop any, we'd absolutely let him. He took the summer off football but then asked to go back. We did tennis for a while before gymnastics and he asked to change. I'm not forcing him into anything 😅

I agree that I wish we started school later, though. It feels so, so early.

@LittlePetitePsychopath I’m biased because I’m from down South myself but if you would live there comfortably, it’s honestly a no-brainer.

The UK has its advantages - life here is far more secure job wise etc - but the biggest downside is how individualistic it is. Spain and the nicer weather and lifestyle lends itself far more to a healthier lifestyle.

We made the jump to home educate and it has been a great adventure for us all. My kids have been very happy. Living abroad could be fantastic. I'd say go for it! This is the easiest time to do it as they aren't so tied by the social side of things and the education part is fairly straightforward at this age.

If it's in line with how things are now re classes and it suits him that's all good. 20 years ago only very sporty parents would do football under 5/6 and I don't think tennis was available at all.