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Lonely possibly autistic

4 replies

Shani85 · 10/02/2026 11:57

Ive always struggled to make friends since I was young but since I have got older (now 42) I can make friends but I cant maintain them. My daughter is the same and she is autistic i am on waiting list for autism testing but I have alot of sensory problems and social problems. I have one friend that has stuck around but I dont ever see her I speak on the phone every other day to her but the thought of meeting up and doing something I just dont like it and if she says I can go out with her and her friends thats even worse thats a huge no no. Yesterday she had a go at me..I said to her I really wanted to make friends as im lonely and she started shouting at me saying I never take her on her offer to go out or to meet up. I never pop over to hers for a coffee. These things are all true. She said she is giving up with me. I feel sad about this but also relief as I now dont have to make excuses as to why I dont want to meet up. My friend has changed she is always havingna go at me and bossing me around on the phone and i feel overwhelmed. the thing is I imagine myself socialising and having friends and not being lonely. I like the idea of it but I just cant do it. Whats wrong with me. I hate myself right now and feel like am awful person

OP posts:
dragonexecutive · 10/02/2026 20:08

You are not an awful person.

Do you have any hobbies? Sometimes there are activities you can do that involve being around people (with similar interests) but that don't require you to really interact. That can ease loneliness for some people. E.g. lectures if there is a topic that interests you.

whatisforteamum · 10/02/2026 20:11

You sound like me OP.

Aligirlbear · 10/02/2026 20:23

Sad that your friend has shouted at you but it might be frustration on her part as you are telling her you are lonely and want to make friends , she has offered a possible solution for you and you have rejected it. She might not realise how difficult you find it socialising face to face, but this is a part of having a friendship group. Have you considered some voluntary work or joining a hobby club to do something you find interesting. This would give you the opportunity to have face to face interaction with people who are interested in something similar to you but you don’t have to socialise outside of the activity.

EmeraldRoulette · 10/02/2026 20:32

Why don't you want to see your friend @Shani85 ?

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