Lack of family time is starting to get me down

[MikeL1993]

When my partner returned to work after our son was born, we agreed she would go back to work part time as our finances and childcare etc allowed this. I work Monday to Friday in a 9-5 job, she went back to work and told her employer her availability was all day Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and she was available at a weekend but she only wanted to work one day a weekend to allow us to have family time together. Her manager at the time understood this and accepted it and they agreed she would only work both Saturday's and Sunday's if and when they needed her but not every weekend.

Everything was going fine until her manager left and was replaced by someone who is completely incompetent in the job role and since October she has had just 5 weekend days off work. Throwing days over Christmas into the mix and we have had a maximum of 9 days together in almost 5 months.

It is now getting to a point where I feel like I am at breaking point, on a weekend I feel like I am a single parent because she is usually on a 7-4pm shift meaning we cant really do much at all with our days and even if I just wanted 30 minutes to go for a run or a quick bike ride to clear my head I can't.

I have tried talking to my girlfriend about this so many times and she keeps saying she will see how things go over the next few weeks and then say something but never does. I really don't want to say this to her but I feel like I am in a last resort and can basically only say to her if she doesn't sort this with work then I will have to look at making changes in my life.

The thought of us spending a day together as a family is what used to get me through the stressful weeks in work but currently I feel like I've got nothing to look forward to when I finish work on a Friday.

How can I sort this?

So is she having a lot of time off during the week while you're at work and your child is in child care? Or does her doing things like this mean she never gets a break either but you keep childcare costs down?
I think you need to sit down together and look at finances Vs career plans Vs time off each. And make an actual plan going forward. If she's not fussed on her job and this is a permanent feature of the line of work she is in then she should think about other options. If you aren't that fussed then maybe you could change.

Why don’t you drop a day and have a weekday off together as a family? Why must she be the one to pull back? She obviously doesn’t mind the extra work or she would have pushed back against it already.

You talk about not being able to have time off to go running or bike riding, but when does your girlfriend get time for herself?

How many days does she actually work? Could she increase by one and you decrease by one and have that as a fixed day off for both of you every week.

I have asked my employer about going to a 4 day week and doing my usual 40 odd hour week over 4 days instead of 5 but they won't let me do that.

The way it works is during the week when she is working because of her weekday shifts she will work either a morning or afternoon/evening whilst our boy is in nursery meaning she gets half a day to herself three times a week. Additionally there have been occasions where if she wants to go to the hairdressers for example but can't fit it around her shifts I will work from home and look after our son and work so that she can go out and get it done.