Overwhelmed!

[Justamum26]

I’m feeling overwhelmed by everyone and everything. I just feel like everyone I know needs me to do something.

It feels like I then have to motivate myself to work on my own freelance. How do I get out from underneath everyone’s needs?

You learn to say no.
Then you learn to prioritise yourself.

Thanks Persephone
this has always been a problem! How do I do this? I’m anxious just thinking about it!
I am swamped by guilt and worthlessness if I say no -because I still can’t get on with my own freelance. I just get stuck!
such a horrible pattern.😳

Agh! How?!
everything feels like it’s non negotiable

Deep breaths OP. I would prescribe this: get a change of scenery, sit down somewhere new and make a big list of all the demands on you. Then categorise by person and what you're definitely personally responsible for.

It might become clear what you can say no to.

Then do a thought experiment where you imagine yourself as someone else, who you have a huge responsilibity towards. What does she really need? What does she want to say yes to? Who can provide help? (and who needs to be told to bugger off and do it themself!)

saying no isn’t unkind when people ask still be kind and perhaps say something like: id like to help but i cant right now; or im feeling overwhelmed just now perhaps we can revisit at a later date or sorry can i get back to you when im free. The key is not to feel guilt (easier said than done) but you must prioritise yourself or you will become unwell then cant help them . Good Luck

Guilt doesn't feel as uncomfortable as overwhelm. It's also not as bad for your health.

Ha! Good point smallglassbottle it does come with a side order of massive anxiety though!
thank you mylipstickiscalledhugme a useful excercise. It’s helped me realise I now need to learn how to not take in the moans and I’ve just realised, manipulation and massive triangulation. And imagining myself as someone else is really useful! Gosh, I really need to help me!
freeme31 thank you, I will do this. Responded to what I now realise is a massively confused and manipulative text with a ‘sorry, busy right now’ and feeling lighter already. Thank you!
I guess I need to really retrain my thinking quickly - don’t want to be unwell as you say freeme and can feel myself sliding into overwhelm - feeling useless - depression. NOT Good.💐