What gets/got you through newborn nights?

[Kate3150]

I’m over 4 weeks in, I find the nights anxiety inducing, not knowing how they will go, how much sleep I’ll get.
I’m breastfeeding so do all the nights.
What helped you?
Virtual hugs X

💞

I just didn't worry, if I was up with the baby I thought I was the luckiest person ever, having baby to myself with lots of cuddles. I was breast feeding and after a few weeks found that BF lying down facing the baby is easiest thing ever. When baby falls asleep you do too.

The factor you can control is when you go to bed - so go to bed early. If you’re technically ‘in bed’ 12 hours a day, so be it.

Agree on breastfeeding lying down.

I use catch cups during the day, and DH uses the milk caught to give baby a morning feed. That way I get a lie in, but don’t have to bother with pumping. Also stops me having to deal with soggy breast pads.

I also find having a really good book to read during night feeds helps. That way I’m excited to read the next chapter when I’m woken up, rather than being annoyed by it.

I’m now 6 weeks in (with my second) and am starting to get some good 3-4 hour stretches each night, which is definitely more manageable than the early cluster feeding nights.

I went to bed at 7pm then hubby brought her up later. I had a biscuit box in my bed, wireless headphones and audio books and films on my tablet. I slept when she did during the day. Im glad my 2nd baby slept alot better.

Co-sleeping, having meals delivered and The Office UK version on Netflix. I quite miss those times!

DH works from home and had a decent pat leave, so he was taking baby from 6am-ish, giving the first feed of expressed milk or formula (the only time baby had formula, but it was essential that I got that break)

I would get solid sleep until I woke naturally - usually 10am ish.

Also we co-slept and I fed baby led down which meant that whilst I was awake, I was "resting".

It was years ago but going to bed silly early and digestive biscuits.

Trashy TV on a device! It's how I started watching Bake Off as well. If this is your first baby, sleep in the day, spend lots of time in bed. Rest as much as you can. Try your best not to watch the clock.

If you have a partner, get them to do nappy changes, settling, get you snacks/drinks etc. Yes, maybe they're back at work, but unless they're a brain surgeon or operating heavy machinery, they can help in these early days - It's not like you're doing nothing all day when you're at home!

Having a partner who takes baby when you finish feeding.

I had to feed sitting up due to bad silent reflux and DD needed to be upright for 30 minutes after a 20-30 minute feed. So when I finished feeding, I handed her to DH to sort her out.
And DD never fell asleep while feeding so we had plenty of nights she had to be cuddled back to sleep in the first couple of months.

He also often changed nappies in the middle of the night.

Hobnobs, huge water bottle and Amazon

We breastfed and ended up cosleeping (wasn’t the original plan but it’s worked out well for us). Save all the best tv shows for the middle of the night to keep yourself awake. Husband did nappy changes as I did all feeds / comforting. Try sleep or at least rest during the day when they’re napping. I’m dreading parenting a toddler and a newborn 😅 think it will be a whole different ballgame

Handing baby to DH for all the night nappy changes.
Handing baby to DH for winding.
Co-sleeping.
Knowing that I didn't have to do much the next day - DH did washing, cooking,. cleaning, so I could rest and recover in the day on the sofa, nap trapped and without judgement.

1. Coffee, lots and lots of it.
2. Having everything I need within reach like snacks, a mini fridge for cold drinks, book, earphones, changing bag etc. One of those cart things would’ve been extra helpful to keep it all organised.
3. True crime, unconventional choice but kept me awake/distracted/entertained. Any TV show, YouTube channel or documentary that keeps your interest.
4. Not forgetting to shower and look after myself, cute pjs, hair and nails done so I felt put together even in bed. I didn’t want to slip back into habits I had when I had depression.
5. Most importantly DH.

Tandem feeding helps in the beginning with a toddler and a newborn! Good for blockages, good for toddler/baby bonding, good for empowerment and feeling like superwoman 💪 TV time goes up for the first few months while you find your feet. The adoration between them is just 😍 and it makes you forget how tired you are...

Her dad took her every single Friday night through until Saturday morning. I lived for those Fridays.

On other nights, Chicago Fire 😅

Looking back, I should have co-slept from the start.

I used to go for long walks in the middle of the night, a bit like taking them for a drive to settle them only I didn’t have a car so I’d put them under my coat and walk and walk. Was a bit like a secret world in the middle of the winter. We’d sometimes go to the 24 hour supermarket or the lay-by cafe that opened at 6am for coffee and a bacon butty and it was like some weird other-world. Like PPs said I would also read, my second I read the whole of a song of ice and fire (game of thrones books) they were massive and page turners so loved reading them and feeding the baby.

safe co-sleeping/breastfeeding lying down (I’m not recommending this as it’s a personal decision, and I didn’t do it with my dc1 because I was too afraid too; but dc2 wouldn’t sleep AT ALL when put down alone, so I was advised to by a dr, and I’m doing it again with dc3)

apart from that:
a good podcast (‘off menu’ podcast is my current fave) with comfy headphones,
big bottle of ice cold water,
Many pairs of Primark oversized button down pjs,
fruit and nut mix, and shortbread (probably why I’m not shifting the baby weight but I’ll worry about that down the line 😂)
O and downton abbey, buffy the vampire slayer, poldark, say yes to the dress and American horror story!

Snacks, books loaded on my Kindle, start a good series to get stuck into and accept it’s just a short and hard season so try not to overthink it too much. Good luck! X

Dh and I traded off half the nights. I did a feed at 7pm, handed him the baby, slept, feed at 10pm, handed back to him, slept til 12/1am, then Dh brought me the baby, a flask of tea and a snack tray of dried fruit, chocolate, biscuits, etc and he went to bed and I took over. We bedshared when not feeding. When Dh was on duty, he’d walk in circles around the lounge watching box sets for hours to keep them sleeping in the sling. We did that the first 4-6 weeks with both of them. I watched tv during the night when I was awake too.

Cosleeping and breastfeeding lying down as soon as it was possible.

Agree breastfeeding lying down! I had great support from a birth centre, they recommended feed with the breast closest to the bed (so right breast if lying on right side, left if on left side). Me and baby then learned how to do feed with either boob me lying on my right side so less disruption.

DH WFH, picks own hours but very busy. He'd do nappy changes at night, bring water, bring baby from bassinet to me to feed and put him back down after.

I built a milk stash using the haakaa and once we had enough for some bottle feeds, DH started taking our baby for bits of time at night and giving expressed milk. Even 2 hours was just amazing relief (our son was almost officially low birth weight, cluster fed extremely frequently). I then started pumping so 6 weeks - 3mo DH would take him for several hours and I would sleep - blissful. DH wouldn't let me co sleep, too scared of the risks so it was very necessary.

Then started cosleeping from 3 months, DS in solid bedtime routine, would go down for his first stretch then into bed with me. DH would have us on the monitor while he worked overnight just in case, the compromise we reached to let me co sleep and get some sleep. DH also did all cooking and cleaning!

Try and sleep if your baby will tolerate being put down to sleep in the bassinet (mine wouldn't from 6 weeks). But use some of the daytime to do things for your sanity, like go outside.

Big hugs. I'd love another one but the newborn stage was tough! That sleep deprivation was nuts.

I re-read ALL of Jilly Cooper's books.

Fruit and nut and real housewives of everywhere. I still found it awful though, just not knowing what the night would bring and feeling alone, it does pass though, hugs.

I remember those nights. You're doing great💐

The best advice I was given was to try not to think too much about how much sleep I was getting.
I would try to have a nap in the afternoon or early evening. Then I knew if I could get just another few hours at night I would be ok.

Fresh air and going outside every day made a big difference.

Eating and drinking plenty.

Gilmore Girls got me through many nights. Anything comforting you can watch and not think about too much.