Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Would you want to know that your ex cheated on you?

7 replies

LazyStupidandGodless · 09/02/2026 17:38

This scum-bag I know had an affair with a work colleague whilst he was in a relationship. The affair ended and he carried on, stringing his poor girlfriend along. He says he stayed with her cos the rent was cheap - he dumped her 8 years later because he was having erectile dysfunction issues and had met someone else that he wanted to shag.

The poor woman was devastated when he left, she had given him her best years and at 48 was suddenly single again.

I feel like she should know what an absolute creep he is, maybe it'll help her to move on - she hasn't met anyone since and still believes he was her 'soulmate'.

I can't bear the fact that she was deceived for so many years and doesn't know the truth - should I tell her?

He was far too much of a coward to confess and face the consequences of his actions & I think he should be punished.

If he was dumb enough to tell a random person like myself then he should have known that it was going to get back to her eventually as we all work in the same industry.

If it is at all relevant, this break-up happened 10 years ago. And I'll drop her an anonymous email/letter so that it doesn't come back to me.

If I was her, I'd want to know even though it'll reopen old wounds.

OP posts:
ValidPistachio · 09/02/2026 17:39

No, you should keep your nose out.

NoYourNameChanged · 09/02/2026 17:39

Absolutely not. 10 years ago?! Talk about raking over old ground! Especially not by way of an anonymous letter, an awful way to break any news at all. Leave her alone.

WhoStoleAllTheUserNames · 09/02/2026 17:40

No!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dramainclass · 09/02/2026 17:42

If you aren't prepared to say it to her face to face it's best you keep away.

AgnesX · 09/02/2026 17:45

Is she a friend and do know her. If not just move on and mind your biz. The news is unlikely to be received well.

LazyStupidandGodless · 10/02/2026 09:11

AgnesX · 09/02/2026 17:45

Is she a friend and do know her. If not just move on and mind your biz. The news is unlikely to be received well.

She's a friend of a friend - I just think that scumbag should be exposed. He lied to her for 8 years, having her believe he was some good guy.

Maybe it's just because I've reached a point where I have zero f**ks to give anymore.

Why should we not call men out on their shitty behaviour? Isn't this culture of silence just doing more harm than good?

And why would I be the bad guy for telling her when he was the one who did the dirty on her?

Sorry - mini-rant over,..... all this Epstein stuff and the massive cover-up is just making me really angry.

OP posts:
WhoStoleAllTheUserNames · 10/02/2026 13:37

LazyStupidandGodless · 10/02/2026 09:11

She's a friend of a friend - I just think that scumbag should be exposed. He lied to her for 8 years, having her believe he was some good guy.

Maybe it's just because I've reached a point where I have zero f**ks to give anymore.

Why should we not call men out on their shitty behaviour? Isn't this culture of silence just doing more harm than good?

And why would I be the bad guy for telling her when he was the one who did the dirty on her?

Sorry - mini-rant over,..... all this Epstein stuff and the massive cover-up is just making me really angry.

But there are still zero consequences for him. Telling her does not punish him in any way.

And there are possible significant consequences for the victim, you don’t know what that will do to her or her self esteem.

If you’ve got issues with the men in your own life then take it out on them.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page