Spending time with cheating friend of a friend

[Whowhatwerewolf]

My friend is friends with a woman who cheated on her husband with a man she dated before she got married. She left her husband but the man didn't leave his wife. The affair has been ongoing for well over a year now and she's still seeing him off and on. They're in their late 50s.

My friend organises enjoyable activities and wants the three of us to do them together. Some of these are overnight trips and the friend's friend does enjoy talking about her troubles in a very "woe-is-me" way.

Would you want to spend time with this woman or would you tell your friend you'd rather do things separately? The activities are a lot of fun but I don't like implicitly condoning the affair and wouldn't like to be friends with this woman as I don't respect her.

I don’t think doing an activity with someone is condoning an affair. Just go and have some fun and change the subject if it comes up. You don’t have to go again if you don’t enjoy it.

I am a big believer in not being around people who do not act in ways you agree with. And would have a hard time with this woman. I would explain to your friend why you would be saying no to time together.

I’d have no interest in socialising with someone with whom I have nothing in common and a polar opposite moral compass. Her life is up to her, but I would want to distance myself from that as I would find her stressful to be around.

So long as she's not using the meetings as cover for seeing the man, I would mind my own business. There is always more to a story than is on the surface, and you won't know the full tale. If she starts talking about the affair you could say that you'd rather not hear about it, but otherwise I don't see how associating with her is condoning anything.

i dont think i could go with them as at some point i’d get tore into that woman for wgat shes doimg and it wouldn’t land well.

Her affair isn’t your business. If you enjoy her company, carry on. If you don’t, then pull away. 😉