I worry that I'm always wishing my life away!

[topcat2014]

I seem to always be looking forward to the end of each day, or the next weekend. Then don't do much when I get there. Think I've always been a bit like this.

DD 1st year at uni, and we're going to see her for lunch in three weeks.

I also look forward to our phone calls on Mondays.

Thing is, I have hobbies, but even they prey on my mind. And these are not dangerous hobbies: bell ringing and Beaver leader for example.

I'm not sure what I'm waiting for!

55/M but even so I feel the testosterone draining away..

I'm 65, and I find I get depressed if I don't have something to look forward to, however small. That does mean, however, that I'm always waiting for the next thing to happen rather than enjoying the time between and I do feel like you, that I am wishing my life away. Since I have a reduced life expectancy that really isn't a great way to live!

I think maybe that there are a lot of people like us, it will be interesting to see what other people say.

Definitely. I find that I tend to dwell on things I can't go back and change and I get so obsessed it drives DH mental! So yeah, wishing my life away is what I do, wishing I could turn back the clock and even fantasising that if I had 3 wishes, I would go back to the year 2000.. blah blah!

I think, up to a point, we all live bits of our life like this.

Remember being at school and counting days till the weekend, counting days till Christmas etc?

And the year is actually structured this way too: Christmas, Easter, summer holidays. Gardeners looks forward to the snowdrops and crocuses, then the daffodils, then the blossom, then the roses ...

I think it is a very human trait.

Having said that, there have been plenty of times when I was living in the moment a bit more and I think it is when you are doing something you have looked forward to.

I loved university and certainly didn't wish the weeks away. I think the trick is thinking hard about projects you would like to embark on so you are always either looking forward to it (eg a trip to Italy, planning the itinerary etc, or a house renovation, big or small) or doing it.

I remember being stuck in hospital and thinking it would be so heavenly to be sitting on the sofa with DH watching a movie and a nice cup of tea. Once home, very quickly it seemed like it might be more fun to go out for a meal! Things are relative!

You’re 55 and male?

So? This is an issue that can affect everybody.

Generally to point out ageing - and also cannot be menopause in my case. Not meaning to do the "man here" thing..

Thanks all - appreciated

Truthfully, men have manopause.

It might differ in terms of specifics, but it is a general hormonal shift and a case of both body and mind readjusting to different priorities and possibilities.

You can google male menopause and you will see it is similar in terms of hormone shift, fatigue, mood changes etc

No they don’t. Not like us. Our menopause is a huge biological change for which there is no parallel in the male sex.

Fed of blokes coming on here and attempting to get a bunch of women to make them feel better.

I have just been diagnosed with a heart condition, I’m 59 and it’s knocked me for 6.

I think it’s the lack of firsts, when we are young so many things are first time from small things to huge ones. So I’m going on The Eurotunnel for the first time I went in a kayak for the first time last year. Health allowing I’m going to try firsts.

@CousinBette I didn’t get that impression from this post.

@topcat2014 I am a bit like this. Planning for the next thing and then I don’t enjoy the ‘thing’ eg a concert or play. It sometimes feels like box ticking and I am just ‘completing’ life.

I said it isn't the same, and didn't bother to get into the specifics of extent, whose is worse etc.

But they DO have dipping hormone levels and mood swings. It's part of aging.

@CousinBettesorry if I upset you. I've been on here for 12 years, and gained support in lots of areas. Work, adoption (which broke up in our case) higher education etc. I'm not a lecturing person.

Oh give over. There's no reason why anyone shouldn't come onto MN and ask for advice. In any case, the OP wasn't the one who said anything about the 'manopause' and only mentioned that they were male so posters didn't all immediately jump on the 'it must be the menopause' wagon.

Besides, if my experience is anything to go by, my DH definitely suffers from having to cope with me and the effects of my menopause!

Have you tried a gratitude journal. At the end of each day you take the time to write a few things that you were grateful for in your day, no matter how small.

It could be something as small as hearing the birds singing when you woke up or enjoying a really good sandwich at lunch time!

It’s really about getting into the mind set of appreciate each day and the small things in life and it can really help change your every day mind set.

DaisyChain505 Brilliant idea! My DM used to say this. She bought me a plaque that said 'take time to love the little things.' It's the secret to a happy life ❤️

@DaisyChain505that's a good idea! I'm going to give that a try