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How do I support my parents?

2 replies

NorthernDramaLlama · 05/02/2026 23:04

Hi

Help, please!

I have no idea who to ask for advice, but I can’t keep having the same conversations with my parents.

My mum has short term memory loss, which is much more pronounced when stressed, which she is at the moment, due to my dad’s behaviour.
My dad had a mental health break down and as a result the “empathy” part of his brain doesn’t work. (Please don’t pile on me if my terminology is wrong, I am doing my best).
The Community Mental Health team won’t do anything because he isn’t showing signs of suicide, but he is behaving irrationally - obsessive behaviour, financial irresponsibility (after a life time of not spending excessively), control; both physically as my mum can’t drive at the moment and emotionally as he won’t share paperwork with her if it is in his name.

She isn’t mentally or emotionally in a position to tell him to fuck off. She did leave temporarily , but couldn’t remember why she left and then we had the whole conversation all over again.

Dad needs help as he is as mad as a box of frogs.

mum needs help as Dad being as mad as a box of frogs is stressing out her already confused head.

Whst can I do? X

OP posts:
Endofyear · 05/02/2026 23:30

How old is your mum and why is she experiencing short term memory loss? Could she have dementia? I would take her to the GP for tests as if she is not remembering why she left, that is pretty serious.

What are the community mental health team doing to support your father? Has he seen a psychiatrist? Does he have a diagnosis? Is he refusing to engage with mental health services at all?

I would take your mum to see the GP as a first step and explain the situation with your dad also. If your mum is diagnosed then she is a vulnerable person and should be treated as such. Can she come and live with you for a bit? Can you get her some legal advice to safeguard herself financially?

unsync · 06/02/2026 13:32

Do you have Powers of Attorney for either/both of them in place? How old are they?

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