Ten year age gap struggles?

[Ringatingg]

Anyone with a ten year age gap between their kids - which combined age / stage combo is the peak challenging to parent?!

Yes currently have a ds14 from previous marriage and dd4 with dh. It is hard. They are both at completely different stages and need different things from me. I find school holidays very tricky as there are very few things we can all do together - can’t do cinema as there are obviously no films that would appeal to them both, can’t do farm parks etc as ds is too old. It’s often a case of divide and conquer.
On the positive side, ds is basically self sufficient. I think I would have struggled juggling a toddler and a baby. But it definitely has its challenges. And they both have tantrums often.

It's very hard. Different needs, and easy to emotionally neglect the oldest as they are more self sufficient, but teenagers need a lot of guidance.
From when the toddler had opinions it got really hard. Eldest really wanted to help but toddler just wanted mum so eldest felt rejected. It's hard enough for a parent to understand this, but my child really struggled and so detached from the youngest and basically ignored her for three years. Got a little bit better when youngest was about five and a bit bolder but really their relationship only improved when they oldest moved out. My experience is pretty similar to a friend's too. It's a tough gap. Oldest feels grown up, but is very much still a child.