Gifted heirloom

[PeonyRose8]

My parents have traditional views, they regularly drop in that certain items in the house will be handed down when they go. It’s a nice thought. My grandparents did the same. The problem is they’ve got angry before if someone says no thank you.
my brother doesn’t like ‘stuff’ so they say they’ve probably got rid of a lot of presents they’ve given over the years. Or someone else didn’t display said item in the living room, it was upstairs instead & they weren’t happy. It’s like they have control over gifts despite giving the gift to someone else.

when I gift something to someone they can then do what they like with it, it’s lovely if it does turn into a favourite item but if they give it away that’s their choice as they own it.

Basically I have a chair they gifted, my brother has successfully detached his chair over the years. Mine is here & doesn’t match our decor. It should go…

Pass on the chair! Be free of the burden!

A small item could be kept to pass on, but a chair is unreasonable.

Can you paint it or recover it? If not then pass it on to the dump.

Older people generally had bigger houses which meant totally different - larger and darker - furniture. We don't have that luxury now.

For items that they plan on giving you after they've gone, can't you just say thanks (for the good intentions; or for the sake of peace) and then, when they have gone and it becomes yours, do whatever you want to with your own property - keep it, sell it, give it away, take it to the tip...? How would they even know?

I like the idea of heirlooms if it's something very small that fits in a jewellery case or shoebox - and I do find it a bit sad when people sell their Grandad's old war medals on Dickinson's Real Deal unless they're really, really hard up for cash; but it's a huge selfish imposition to give somebody a massive dresser or four-poster bed and demand that they keep it in the family forever.

Whether they like it or not, they chose how to live their life and now it's for you to choose how to live yours.

I’m in the process of getting rid of a lounge suite that has been in my family for four generations. I have had it for twenty years. DH doesn’t like it and it’s horrendously uncomfortable but it will be $15k to reupholster so I can’t find a reason to keep it. It’s a real example of Western Australian history from the twenties so looks amazing,

It’s hard.