Hate my new house, how soon can I move?

[Toosoon12345]

Post divorce I rented for a year and then got desperate to buy. I wanted a haven when I could recover and look forward to making my own.

I very nearly bought a new build but they weren’t due for completion for almost a year. I then got talked into buying a 3 bed Victorian end of terrace by my adult children.
Viewed it several times in the glorious warm Spring we had and must admit didnt scratch too far below surface.

Moved in July 2025 and soon as weather turned felt I’d made a huge mistake.

The house is freezing, even with CH and wood burner. My heating bills are huge.
There is virtually zero insulation and although I’m looking into getting a grant that’s not quick.
Sash windows at front all need replacing. Cheap flimsy ones were out in years ago and all rotten.
2 of the bedrooms are in the roof space and I isn’t actually a proper room - it’s more of a huge mezzanine and needs work to box it off.
There is some damp in the front lobby which concerns me as there is no obvious cause.

All expensive stressful work and I feel so overwhelmed especially doing it in my own with a very limited spare time or budget.
really regretting my decision and seriously considering just sticking it back on market and buying a modern house. Just feel so stupid

I’d sell now. Don’t invest another penny in it.
I moved into a brand new build following divorce and it may be soulless but its also bloody perfect in every way!

Agree with pp, we all make mistakes, it’s so hard to think clearly when we are exhausted too.
seconding the magnetic perspex windows, they’re great. You can buy them online made to measure for about £80 per window!
get some lovely curtains etc and tell yourself they are for the next house!
I would give myself two years there, then on the market.

Just wanted to say I love my period property but this winter is the coldest I’ve felt over the 15 years I’ve lived here. I think it’s due to how windy it’s been and the wind seems to push the cold through any tiny gaps. So maybe this is the worst it will be ?

in the summer it is lovely and cool - so there is an upside to period living.

If you really want to move to a new build - could you part exchange?

What’s going on with the new builds? Could you approach them to see if they have a part exchange or moving assistance programme? If developers are keen to sell they can have some lucrative incentives so it could be worth having a chat.

My mum was in a similar position, she ended up buying a much smaller 2 bed new build vs older 3 beds and she has no regrets, it was turn key ready, very low maintenance, and she actually made a profit from the energy assistance scheme a few years ago as the government assistance when energy went crazy was higher than her bills!

We're in a 3 bed Victorian terrace. Blankets on the sofa for warmth, hot water bottle in bed before getting in, wearing slippers and crocs inside because of the tiles, dehumidifiers for the damp, thick heavy curtains for the windows until you can get them replaced. The tiles really come into their own in the summer though!

I'm happy we're here not a new build though as our ceilings are so much higher and the rooms are bigger. Every new build we've visited in recent years feels incredibly tiny. Same number of rooms but on an itty bitty scale.

I do wish we had a utility room, garage, extra toilet but we've also got a decent garden, we're on the same street as the public transport, few minutes from a shop, doctors, school, park, barbers etc when so many of our new build mates have to drive to everything.

Swings and roundabouts isn't it.

Sounds like you were in an emotionally and financially vulnerable and stressful time. Everything feels worse in the winter. Yes it feels overwhelming but it's yours. We had our insulation done through a grant. There are grants for boilers (we didn't qualify but the payment plan for the new one wasn't mad).

It's a 3 bed but 2 are in the loft and 1 isn't what you can officially call a bedroom yet? Is that because there's been a bathroom put in upstairs? Concentrate on making YOUR room feel cosy and homely and your uni children can sort their spaces out when they're around.

Windows wise, could you look at getting the front ones done first, then seeing if you feel the benefit? Even if you decide to move, it would make it more attractive to buyers without the full £15k hit.

Of course, you can move to a modern house. No pressure to stay put. I just think that going through the moving process again overwhelms me even more than tweaking where we are. I do get down when I see other people's lovely homes and I can't decorate because there are bigger jobs that need doing that we're saving for. But I'll take all that rather than feeling claustrophobic in a 2020s home.

Your post made me smile @MikeRafone . My previous house was 1730 so my 'new' 1880s cottage feels toasty and luxurious to me. Cosy rooms and thick stone walls instead of huge single glazed sashes and 12 foot ceilings.

Everything is relative.😀

Be careful about reselling too soon. People can be put off if they see you’ve only lived there a few months. But after at least a year, I’d cut my losses and move on.

@Toosoon12345 "I see how naive I was - I didn't want a project (been there too many times). I want a home that I don’t have to give too much headspace to and can just relax in. I should have been more sensible"

Please stop beating yourself up. You were trying to keep everyone happy at a difficult and vulnerable time. You didn't know then what you know now. Don't regret decisions in life, you made the best call you could on the info you had at the time. There is no shame in changing your mind. You have one life and you should make the most of every year of it.

We are currently in our first winter since we had a heat pump installed, so we have gone from rationing heating to being warm all the time. We've done plenty of winters at 16 with blankets and layers and I've been all gung ho that it never did me any harm etc, but honestly being warm all the time is just glorious.

I moved into a house & hated it. I painted all the rooms and put new floor down in the kitchen and bathrooms. Tidied the garden and put it back on the market within 4 months. I priced it slightly higher than I paid to recoup lost money. Sold immediately. No questions from the bank and was upfront with the buyers (they were young and worked very nearby so were excited!).

It took about 5 months to do legal stuff and we ended up in our dream forever home ☺️

Sometimes shit doesnt work out and thats ok. Free will n all that

I think because I’m on my own it seems all the more overwhelming and I feel like I’m pestering freinds when I ask for advice.

I hadn’t considered part exhange, must admit it seems very tempting as not sure I could deal with yet another stressful house sale

Really agree with all this Op - you’ll regret a soulless NB with a prison yard garden in summers down the line. You just have to make some adjustments - @AnnaQuayInTheUk do you have a link to the magnetic glazing, this sounds like just what I need for sons room in outrigger which gets v cold because not got other houses /rooms around it and no insulation in walls…

I recently renovated a Victorian end terrace, which I bought post divorce and did some fairly major work to, and am now in another one. I love them, this is my fourth.

I would say that if you loved it enough to buy it, stick it out a bit longer. This time of year is diabolical, everywhere looks miserable, but give it a couple of months and things will change.

Talk to people locally and find a decent builder. Get a quote done for the work you would like to make it home, and then work out how much it'll cost you to move, realistically in fees etc. Don't panic and make a knee jerk reaction, but equally, you're a grown up and you can do whatever you like, and if you'd prefer a new build then get it back on the market.

I think you need to give it time OP, the warmer weather is coming and in a few months time the house will be as it was when you viewed, hopefully that will help you remember what made you like it in the first place.

My DH's old house was a victorian semi, lovely high ceilings and generous rooms with fireplaces. Looked lovely at Christmas but it was drafty and cold in the winter, nice and cool in the summer. I lived in a modernish 1990's build. We have just moved in together to a 7 year old new build. DH and his kids have spent the winter in shorts and t shirts, hoping they will adjust to a house with insulation.

And op omg - upvc windows will not make your house more sellable!!

most ppl who buy Victorian houses want original features and think plastic windows are (sorry) tacky, ugly and anachronistic.
When my friend was selling her parents house in London people would cancel viewings when they realised the house had been ‘upgraded’ to plastic, as the crooked double glazing companies that then preyed in working class first generation homeowners had convinced them was what they were doing. See also pebble dash.

honestly , plastic windows have just fucked how most of Britain looks. We have such a weird attitude to it - our architecture and heritage is something that we as a society generally take pride in, and yet we don’t seem to actually ‘see’ what our country looks like now. most of our streets of lovely houses have been totally visually trashed by ugly lumpy white plastic windows, none of which match the other ugly plastic ones in the rest of the street, plus a selection of lovely mismatched plastic porches to top it off. I walk down those streets and just think are you fuckers literally blind?

I think it’s because our pride in our heritage and that ‘Britain is beautiful’ is in deep conflict with our even more embedded belief that John Bull can do whatever he likes in his litttle fiefdom and fuck everyone else (tossers who play music in the garden, I’m looking at you)

In Germany there’s a law that the outside of your house also ‘belongs’ to the community - you have to replace like with like as people have chosen to live there in part because of the design of the houses in that area.

in my view that is far too lax and limp-wristed and a prison term is more appropriate;-)

op, if you can’t afford new triple glazed wooden sashes I beg you sell up with the old ones intact in the hope that the next person can.

but thanks for giving me the opportunity to get that off my chest 😁

Do you qualify for any grants? There are grants for new windows, boilers, insulation, etc. I would have a look into that and see if your local council can offer anything grants wise.

You said about the damp in the front lobby, are there any drains outside? I had a house very much like you are describing. I had damp half way along an interior adjoining wall. Had umpteen people out to have a look at it. It turned out there was a drain outside and the concrete had split or something and water wasn't going down the drain, it was going under the house!

OP - what is it that makes it so cold? I have done the heated blankets, thermal curtains, replaced misted units rather than whole windows, thicker underlay etc etc etc but my main problem is a suspended flooring with multiple brick vents coupled with solid brick walls. The heat is just escaping through the main (and expensive) structures. If mine were windows and doors type problems I would stay and fix over a few years but walls and floor (and attic atm) are in the tens of thousands so for me it will never be achievable to get warm. I don't have the funds.

Write down the problems, come up with temporary and permanent fixes, do approximate costings. Windows can be done one at a time, attic insulation one roll at a time but external insulation is harder to be done in bits.

@thestudio we used this company:

Magnetic secondary glazing kits for heat and noise insulation https://share.google/1gjM3h48UCRVNvDYC

Really good service. Our sash windows are really big so I think it cost about £100 per window and we did 12 of them. In summer we take them off and store them under the bed in the spare room. The only downside is that, when they are up, you can't open the window. But that hasn't been an issue for us

I looked at part exchange. They would only give me 80% of the value of my house, so I declined.

Hi OP,

Ok, yes, if you really hate it just move and suck up the cost. However I don't think things are as chronic as you describe. Old homes are different and once you understand that it's all doable.

Let me walk you through it:

"There is virtually zero insulation and although I’m looking into getting a grant that’s not quick."

Please DO NOT do this. Do some research, this type of activity is resulting in thousands of old homes being write-offs and unsalable. A Victoria home needs to breathe and not be filled with modern materials. This will make it damp, cold and you will have more of an issue than you feel you do now.

Your house shouldn't be cold, so you need to identify if it has been sealed/DPC'd, plastered wrongly and so on. Identify the issue and use appropriate materials it will all be fine.

"Sash windows at front all need replacing. Cheap flimsy ones were out in years ago and all rotten."

Not quite making sense, I am assuming you have wooden sash windows, original or replacement; either way they are almost always repairable by a joiner/sash restorer. Do not go to somebody selling new windows, find somebody that is specialist in this area. It will save thousands and be more appropriate for your home. Also make sure no silicone and so on is used to seal them, as above this will cause damp issues.

You can also get cheaper than chips, magnetic secondary glazing which is proven more effective than standard or heritage double glazing.

"2 of the bedrooms are in the roof space and I isn’t actually a proper room - it’s more of a huge mezzanine and needs work to box it off."

Not urgent from what you say. do this in your own time if you want to in the future.

"There is some damp in the front lobby which concerns me as there is no obvious cause"

Is this on an internal of external wall? things to check are the roof, gutters and ground levels if an external wall. If an internal wall are there any hidden or obvious water /radiator pipes anywhere near. It's almost certainly a leak from somewhere.

Happy to give more specific advice, Just addressing your concerns in this initial post.

I completely get that over whelmed feeling. I’m in a similar boat, albeit my DH died. But the issues are similar. It’s very hard trying to make the right decisions. 💐

OP, one thing we did during our first winter in our home was borrow a thermal camera - out local eco group has them to lend out - and see where the house was losing heat. As expected, it was mostly through the windows but also the (much newer) front door was an issue, which we were surprised about. So we bought thick thermal curtains for the front door as well. We also realised that some heat was being lost through the roof, despite there being insulation there, so we put more insulation there.

Our house is detached. We've lived in a Victorian terrace in the past and heating hasn't been an issue because you get warmth through the houses either side. So I'd definitely check where exactly you're losing heat from. It may not be where you think.

Re the mezzanine rooms, was the house even sold as an official 3 bed if they are not proper bedrooms? If not, getting them sorted might potentially add more value than the work costs, giving you some funds towards a move.

If land registry has recorded as a 3 bed, then all above board.

Just sell up if you can. It’s not worth the misery.

This is 100% what I need, thank you