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Daughters ex bullying and harassing her at school.

4 replies

Sweetpea84 · 04/02/2026 21:22

My daughters ex is harassing and bullying her at school. She’s in year 9 and they were dating for 18 months. She’s broke up with him due to his behaviour, he was quite controlling and then he started to pull away and become distant. He started hanging out with a girl who he apparently doesn’t have any interest in and for context she’s gay as well. He started getting into drugs and doing all sorts of disruptive behaviour with this girl. He got caught at school with said drugs and was suspended.

Ever since he’s been back he’s on this smear campaign with this girl and his other mates to ruin my daughter. Staring at her, making comments, pointing and laughing, spreading rumours that aren’t true. She’s gone to the school who have asked him to keep away as he was standing next to her table at lunchtime causing trouble. He is now standing next to the lunch queue doing the same above.

she’s blocked him on everything but he is still messaging her making lies up to try and talk to her and today sent her a note to say please leave me the f alone I’m not interested any more. She doesn’t want to get back with him but he’s making out like she does. After getting note she did confront him and ask what the hell is he going on about? In hindsight I said you should of just handed the note in and not even read it. She gave the note to the head of year who said you just need to ignore him and he’s a teenage boy who will get bored. The boy has also been going to head of year to ask him to tell my daugher to leave him alone! She isn’t bothering him and wants him to leave her alone it’s like he is making stuff up to get back at her.

He is also harassing her male best friend he kissed him on the lips which I believe is assault and is calling him names. At a local group her ex was calling this boy names (she wasn’t at the group) and a fight broke out which resulted in threats being made that he was gonna jump him and my daughter and they’ll get stabbed by some older boys who are drug dealers.

We’re going in the school tomorrow to speak to the head and safeguarding to ask why my daughter is being harassed. I’m genuinely frightened he will hurt her, what else should we do? Should I ask school to get the police involved? I’ve put her on the waiting list for another school but why should she have to move?

Thanks in advance for any advice

OP posts:
TrashHeap · 04/02/2026 21:24

Are his parents aware of this behaviour?

Sweetpea84 · 04/02/2026 21:29

Yes should of added mum is aware, she has taken him off social media and grounded him but he’s still finding ways to contact her. She’s been in tears to me not knowing what to do as she knows once she lets him back out he’ll be hanging out with this girl again. She is genuinely sorry and loves my daughter to bits but I don’t wanna keep telling her what her sons doing as she’ll get annoyed with me so I’m letting the school deal with it.

OP posts:
Sweetpea84 · 04/02/2026 21:30

It’s like he don’t care if he keeps getting in trouble as long as he’s upsetting my daughter.

OP posts:
Goldeh · 04/02/2026 21:40

Don't ask school to involve the police, you can involve them.

My DD was having issues at school with a boy harassing her, the final straw was when he was waiting for her after she finishes an after school activity and followed her home making suggestive comments. School tried to pass it off as a "silly crush" until I involved the police. At that point school suddenly agreed it was 100% unacceptable and took action. The boy was told in no uncertain terms to stay away from DD and had to go on a misogyny and harassment awareness course. Police also told him that they would take action against him if it continued/happened again.

Basically OP, kick up a huge fuss about it. Your DD deserves to attend school free from harassment and abuse.

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