To go on a second date

[pinenuts75]

I had a date yesterday, went quite well but I wasn’t physically attracted to him, other things are bothering me though, he spoke way to much didn’t really listen to what I had to say which got a bit annoying, although I get he may have been nervous. Also he invited me out for dinner on Saturday night which I agreed too, he kind of put me on the spot as we were departing, then he said he would like to see me in between now and Saturday and I could always go to his house! I’m not keen on that idea, he’s a stranger for a start, oh also he told me he’s divorced and really glad he’s out of the marriage, said he will tell me all about it another time, I’m not really feeling a second date now reading all this back to myself, but he will want to know why when previously I said I would, what do I do help please!

Just say no. You don't owe him anything. You don't even owe an explanation. Just say you've changed your mind and wish him well.

Exactly

But are these reasons not to go on a second date?

Of course they are!

why on earth would you go on a second date with a man you don’t like or find attractive? You don’t owe him anything and you certainly shouldn’t date someone simply because you are fretting about what he might think of you for saying no.

Yes! Mainly because you don’t fancy him and second he didn’t listen to you and went rambling on.
Then invites you out to dinner Saturday but want you to go to his house before then….Mmmmm!
What do you think he’s expecting when you go to his house, because you’re supposedly so grateful to be invited to dinner?

So -
You weren't attracted to him
He's a professional yapper
He doesn't listen
He's pushy
Why on earth are you even thinking about a second date?

You are allowed whatever reason you want - you're not answerable to anyone else. You don't need to justify anything.

I guess I was pursuing a second date because I thought he might grow on me, but I think I’ve had time to think about it, thinking about it he was quite pushy he didn’t give me much time to refuse his offer.

Should I tell him? Or just stop contacting him? Thing is he knows where I work but not where I live.

Trust your instincts, sounds like he will grow on you like a wart

@pinenuts75
Text him if you're worried.
"Hi X, apologies, can't make dinner on Saturday, take care"
Then slow fade, don't reply to his texts.
You don't have to be polite and you're allowed to say no x

Don’t waste your time! Or his actually.

Text him but be direct - it was nice to meet you, but I don't feel we are a match / don’t feel we have a “spark”, so it’s best if we cancel dinner on Sunday.

Otherwise he’ll just keep asking.

But I wish I had done this yesterday, not carried on messaging him, he’s going to find it strange.

Maybe he will but so what? It’s been one date it’s not a big deal!

It really doesn't matter if he finds it strange. You will have done the decent thing and not ghosted him and have told him you don't want to see him again. You don't have to tell him anything else and you definitely don't have to see someone else again if you don't want to!!

But if you don’t go you’ll miss the exciting drama of his crazy ex wife and why he’s so glad to be rid of her. What an opportunity.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing wish I had just walked away when he mentioned her.