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Reaching breaking point…

6 replies

BlueOtter9 · 04/02/2026 14:46

I work in a school, I’ve handed my notice in and I have a very very unkind manager. She micromanages me, speaks at me not to me, through gritted teeth. She’s part of the reason I had to go.

She Demands I do things with an unbelievably tight turn around. When I try and explain something she’ll say “just get it done” like I’m a piece of shit. The last straw came about the other day when a report needed to be done. No other dept has finished but I’m under so much scrutiny to get it done. I feel like I’m under a microscope, I do totally understand the importance of this. But no one helped or guided me in terms of how to do it. I’ve also been asked to work with someone very very senior, ceo level to get some support as they’ve been doing it for a long time prior to being upper leadership (I’m in a leadership role too just middle not senior) this person that’s been drafted in is cold with me, no emotional awareness at all, and at times condescending in mannerism. I haven’t done a few things before so I just need that help but I don’t want to be made to feel stupid or under a microscope.

it’s more so the untenable environment, I step in and feel drained. My stomach’s in knots, I’m anxious walking in, I feel an overwhelming sense of dread and disassociate on my drive in. I feel like a robot. Doctor has prescribed propanalol for now. I seem to get waves of nasty headaches and also struggle with getting up on time now. Things are just too overwhelming. Working with too very difficult people at the start and end of the week is draining me.

What do I do? Im scared of having time off. They’ll think im doing it on purpose as it’s been when the meetings occur but thats also when my anxiety spikes ans my body responds by making me feel ill. I feel worried to get signed off as I let the kids down then. What do I do?

OP posts:
Trallers · 04/02/2026 15:10

It sounds like this is partly the awfulness of the work environment and partly your ability to cope with it. I don't mean that offensively because I'm the same.

Do ask yourself why it matters if they think you're off 'on purpose'. She's clearly horrible and will think badly of you whatever, so why waste your thoughts on what she thinks. Do what you need to do and leave it at that - power through with a 'screw 'em' attitude, or take sick leave if you do need it. But dont be guided by the opinions of arseholes. I've watched mentally tougher people than me just not give a crap about what horrible people at work think and it makes all the difference to their mental health and job enjoyment. I have tried to channel some of that (easier said than done) when an awful boss at work was upsetting me regularly and did find it helped.

And you won't let the kids down either way, try not to think of it that way. Your health must be your priority so if that requires time off there's no guilt trip needed.

How long is your notice period?

RipplePlease · 04/02/2026 15:11

If you are able to, get out now.
The behaviours of your manager/SLT make me think that they already want you out.
I’m an ex-teacher and this is exactly how I saw other members of staff being treated that SLT disliked.
Constant scrutiny.
In the end, they buckled and left.
As far as I know, they were surprisingly mentally unscathed. I don't think I would have been.
Sending you my best wishes OP.

BlueOtter9 · 04/02/2026 17:02

Trallers · 04/02/2026 15:10

It sounds like this is partly the awfulness of the work environment and partly your ability to cope with it. I don't mean that offensively because I'm the same.

Do ask yourself why it matters if they think you're off 'on purpose'. She's clearly horrible and will think badly of you whatever, so why waste your thoughts on what she thinks. Do what you need to do and leave it at that - power through with a 'screw 'em' attitude, or take sick leave if you do need it. But dont be guided by the opinions of arseholes. I've watched mentally tougher people than me just not give a crap about what horrible people at work think and it makes all the difference to their mental health and job enjoyment. I have tried to channel some of that (easier said than done) when an awful boss at work was upsetting me regularly and did find it helped.

And you won't let the kids down either way, try not to think of it that way. Your health must be your priority so if that requires time off there's no guilt trip needed.

How long is your notice period?

6 more weeks. I genuinely can’t do it.

OP posts:
BlueOtter9 · 04/02/2026 17:03

RipplePlease · 04/02/2026 15:11

If you are able to, get out now.
The behaviours of your manager/SLT make me think that they already want you out.
I’m an ex-teacher and this is exactly how I saw other members of staff being treated that SLT disliked.
Constant scrutiny.
In the end, they buckled and left.
As far as I know, they were surprisingly mentally unscathed. I don't think I would have been.
Sending you my best wishes OP.

im buckling tbh. I can’t do it anymore. Im in a leadership role which makes me more scared to leave things in the lurch

OP posts:
madaboutpurple · 04/02/2026 17:09

I think you need a lot of time off with stress. You could then spend your time looking for another school where you will be far happier. Your manager sounds truly dreadful. No job is worth it if it is making you ill. I wish you all the best and I am sure you will find a much better school to work in.

SquareSweetsThatLookRound · 04/02/2026 17:24

BlueOtter9 · 04/02/2026 17:03

im buckling tbh. I can’t do it anymore. Im in a leadership role which makes me more scared to leave things in the lurch

Middle management is schools in the worst. Everyone I know who went higher said SLT is less day to day stress. I’ve just quit after 4 years (still a full time teacher) and feel reborn. I developed RA and had three miscarriages in that period and I blame it all on the job and I work in a very supportive school.

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