Overcoming constant health worries, how can you ever do this?

[ApriltoNovember]

I have purposefully not said health anxiety because I am not sure it is but maybe I am delusional?

For as long as I can remember, and I am talking back from when I was a child, I have worried about death, dying and poor health. I did not grow up with anyone with major health issues so not sure quite where it stemmed from. I have had many many years trying various CBT sessions and counselling to overcome this but nothing helps and the older that I get the worse it is getting.

For almost 30 years I have had issues with my gynae health and gut health and live with this constant unease that things could get worse or develop. I often wonder if I didn't have any chronic health issues if I could have overcome the anxiety about illness?

In my 40's things got much worse with perimenopause and now at almost 53 it continues. My mum has advanced dementia and breast cancer I now live with the fear this could be my future too.

I help care for my mum so I have seen the hideous progression of such a wicked disease which has greatly exacerbated the fear I have for my health. I often feel as though I am losing my mind.

Every time I hear that I have been in contact with someone who has been unwell, say the flu or a tummy bug I am on edge for days until I have passed that 'safe' zone where I am confident I probably won't come down with it. I am on edge atm because my father and I sat in A&E all weekend with my mum as she has suspected sepsis. In the early hours of yesterday morning my dad had D&V and now I am in a state of panic worrying I will come down with it too. I know these are unpleasant viruses for anyone but as someone with chronic digestive issues if I come down with a tummy bug I will feel off for weeks which leaves me in a state of panic for weeks too.

I just don't know if I will ever feel free of this issue especially now that I am older and heading to a time where ill health is more likely. I do all I can to keep well with a healthy lifestyle but I know from what I have seen in life that often means nothing and some of the most healthiest people I have know have become very unwell.

How can one overcome something like health anxiety when the body you live in is the very thing which drives the anxiety? For example, I have a lift phobia but it doesn't cause me much stress because I just take the stairs but I just can not avoid my body, I have to live with it for the rest of my life and with the fear it could let me down at any point. My brain scans my body for sensations, feelings and potential problems from the moment I wake until I sleep, I will go into a blind panic if I feel an aura migraine coming on, if my stomach feels as though I may be sick or have diarrhoea, or anything else which could cause me to have a sudden uncomfortable change in my circumstances.

Has anyone overcome such a fear/phobia and are these issues worse when you have chronic health issues?

I was seriously ill as a child and almost died of encephalitis as a complication of measles, this led to an op to release pressure on my brain, years of tests and meds til I was cleared as I had massive seizures and would wake up in hospital for about 3 years after. I have also lived with a chronic condition all my life as I have scoliosis which causes issues. I have now been diagnosed with angina at 59. I was pretty reckless when young and crashed my motorbike twice, jumped off cliffs, climbed trees plus other risky stuff and I think being ill had the opposite effect on me.

What have you done in your life? Career and hobbies wise? I had an awful miscarriage when I was 40 and needed an emergency op a couple of months later. I remember my sister saying if you die you will have still done more than most do in a lifetime. Maybe that was my way of dealing with ill health and chronic conditions doing a lot, no time to think. My scoliosis is really very painful now I’m older sometimes, I always think well I can feel pain so that’s good it shows I’m alive.

This may sound strange but have you had your iron levels checked . My anxiety is improving since taking iron tablets. And only just realised it had a link

I have diagnosed health anxiety i never found cbt helpful the only thing that has helped is medication and distraction. I was obsessed spent all my time googling health stuff and back and forth to the drs, always checking hr, bp etc. I needed to redirect my focus so im doing the house up room by room now I spend my time googling paint colours and lights etc. Obviously it doesn't have to be this but something that you enjoy and takes up your time.