I need practical advice as to how to cope better

[Coldcoffeekindamorning]

I am in a very stressful situation in that my DP parent is going to die in the next few weeks. It's all been made much harder but a family member who is being extremely difficult (I can't go into more detail than that). It's been difficult to see DPinlaw because of the situation and DH is very stressed and I am trying my best to support him. We only have my DP to help look after our DC so I don't have any time to take a break as I've been asking them to babysit when we are able to visit DPinlaw. DC are 6 (in school) and 3 (nursery 2 days a week and the rest of the time with me). I also work part time and awkward hours, some evenings and weekends.

I am so so very sad, I am very stressed and I am struggling to stay strong for everyone. I feel like a bomb is about to go off and i am going to be the only one to take care of DH and DC when the inevitable happens. I just lost 2 of my very good friends within 6 months of each other not long after DC2 was born (both in their 30) and then a friends baby passed away a few months later. I still don't feel like I've had time to process that and now all this all of a sudden feels completely overwhelming. I do have friends but we live in different cities and its hard to catch up because we all have young children. It's to much to unload over the phone or through text. I do have mum friends in my area but I wouldn't consider them close friends, just chit chat etc. I feel like I have no one to talk to and I can feel the physical stress in my body. Can people give me practical ways to cope during this time? I'm just feeling so overwhelmed this morning by it all.

You just focus on your children they are young innocent need the protection and make your DP know that is how you are supporting him.

And tell DP you will give him whatever you can whenever you can.

You are adults with dependents you just gave to deal with everything else when they are in bed.

Reduce as many optional extra invitations for the time being. Try and relax and recharge when you get a minute, let the housework slide a bit, bare minimum is enough.

And try and look forward, many people lose people earlier than you expect. It’s a blunt hard fact of life. You have two youngsters who are your future and they need you most.

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time OP but it sounds like you are taking on all the responsibility of trying to keep everything going and it's weighing you down. Can you talk to your mum and dad to offload a bit, or try and have a coffee and a catch up with a friend?

Practice acceptance rather than wishing for things to be different. Accept that DHs parent is going to die and that it's a difficult time for you all. You cannot take away the pain of losing his parent but you can be kind and empathetic, give him extra care and cuddles and give him space to decompress after he's visited them, if that's what he needs. Concentrate on looking after your children and make time for you all to get outside and walk in nature - it's a powerful mood enhancer, clears your head and has so many physical and mental benefits. Even a 10/15 minute brisk walk in the woods, along a beach or in a park with trees will benefit you all if done regularly.

Prioritise time together, relaxing and early nights over housework and chores. Do the minimum you need to and remind yourself that you need to take things a bit easier just at the moment. Take the pressure off yourself to try and keep everyone happy and accept that this is a sad time and you're allowed to not be ok. Be kind to yourself 💐