I feel awful that my husband and I haven’t had sex in about 4 months (I’m 36 weeks pregnant) but I just felt extremely unsexy and comfortable from 4 months ago. I feel like a whale and I’ve constantly been sweaty ‘down there’ which just feel so gross. I’m not sure if it’s the extra blood volume but I hate it and feel grotesque rather than sexy. Ironically he’s very attracted to this pregnant look! And then before 4 months we were both worried about miscarriage (I know it’s totally not a cause) bur it felt wrong having sex so we didn’t do it often.
Now I’m nearing the finish line I’m starting to look forward to maybe feeling less ‘whale-ish’ , less sweaty and gradually getting my body back… granted I know I’ll be sleep deprived and breastfeeding so my expectations of having sex PP are low and from what I’ve read it might be 11 weeks PP or a year PP - whenever I feel ready. My husband is very supportive and doesn’t expect sex at all, I just feel bad that we can’t be intimate (although we do other intimate things but it’s not quite the same)
I know there are reasons like not feeling physically ready after birth but I’m also wondering is it morally bad to have sex when you have a baby around? Ie even when I feel ready I might be worried about external factor. Ie Do they know what’s happening? What if we get him to sleep and then want to have sex? Is that bad?! And then when they get older and can walk around and then having sex seems even riskier. I suppose when they start sleeping longer stretches but then there will always be the risk that they can ‘hear’
Before pregnancy we’d have sex maybe 2-3 times a week and it’s clearly not the ‘foundation’ of our relationship as we still cuddle and are very close but I do miss the intimacy and wondering if I’m going to feel unsexy forever.