Can you tell me not to be scared of a book club?

[GreeneryGrass]

I'm on mat leave. I have two kids and love them but I've officially hit the point where I've completely lost my identity outside of being a parent. I met up with a friend this week and it was my first time socialising without my kids or husband around and I felt so on edge and unsure how to make conversation about something other than parenting so I know I need to do something social - I ended up with PPD last time and I really want to do all I can to avoid it again. For me it was a lack of speaking to anyone other than my immediate family that really pushed me over the edge so I know I need to put myself out there, but I'm so anxious at the thought of walking in somewhere new, alone.
There's a book club near me that meets once a month (it'll be tomorrow) and my husband thinks I should do it. What do you think? Any words of encouragement from someone who has done something like this before?

Please try it, you don’t have to commit to ever going again if you really really hate it and struggle but you won’t know if you try it and you might meet like minded people.
i am part of a book club but it was formed as a group of 8 and I knew everyone - 18 years on we still meet every 6 weeks or so, it’s a very comfortable group and we have shared all of life’s ups and downs together.
Give it a go, talk yourself through what is the worst thing that can happen and try and rationalise it.

Tell yourself you are only going the once and if it’s not for you, you never need to go back.

Do it do you can find out. It might not be the right group for you but you won't know if you don't go a few times. You really have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I've tried a few and the second was similar to your situation. I lasted about 6 meetings but I'm glad I tried. Just didn't work for me as a book group.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time and I think it's great that you've realised that you need to do something for yourself. Do you know anyone in the book club?

In your shoes I'd be tempted to message the organiser/Insta account/however it's organised and let them know that you'd love to come along but you're a bit nervous at not knowing anyone.

What's the book they're discussing tomorrow? I'm assuming you haven't read it so I'd let the organiser know that too, but that you're definitely willing to read the next book.

And also! If you go along tomorrow and you don't like the energy/types of books/how the discussion works then please congratulate yourself for making the effort and look for something that suits you better. If it's something you're having to flog yourself to go to, there will be something else that you will actively look forward to going to.

i wouldn’t go if you haven’t read the book. You’ll feel a spare part and uninvolved. But give it a go when you have read that month’s book. They vary wildly. It might be fun.

Wow thanks so much for such quick responses. It's definitely making me feel a bit more tempted to give it a try - that mentality of trying it once and going from there feels a lot better than something more long term.

I don't know anything about the people, book or anything sadly - it seems to be a chain of book clubs? It's called Chapter 25 and they look to be on all over the place? So I'm not sure how to get details for the one closest to you but I'll look into it. Bit nervous as it's just so out of my comfort zone, there's nobody to hide behind if you get me!

"If you're not a bit nervous, it's not worth doing." Well, that's what you get told at work but, I think it is true a bit as well. Good luck.

When I'm nervous about going somewhere I remind myself I don't have to do anything, or be the life of the party. It's ok to just listen, observe, be quiet. Once I realised that, everything got easier.

Oh man, the club near me has now just sold out. Guess I hesitated too long! I'll keep an eye out. What a shame, I suppose this shows I did want to go. Live and learn!

Disagree with this. Just go along, meet the people, find out how they choose the book, talk about something you've read recently... It doesn't matter. Find out what next months book is and crack on. Please don't wait a month - just go!

Agree, and you'll get a good sense of how the club works/how discussions are managed.

Shame that it's sold out for this month, but keep an eye tomorrow for any last minute cancellations!

If the first book club doesn't work for you, try another. They're all different, have different rules and dynamics. Maybe look for one that focuses on social rather than rules about reading every single book.

Are there any mother and baby groups around you that you could join? When I moved to a new area with a 5 month old baby, I found that was a great way of getting to know people and the local area, and it was very informal.

Do you have any other interests where there might be local groups, e.g. crafts, running etc?

If its the kind of thing that is booked online and can sell out, then it's very likely to have new and different people coming each time. Get it in your diary, try and find out the book and enjoy it.

What I love about my book club is the interesting conversations we have had, random stuff that is triggered by the book. I've become friends with my group and I know their views on many specific things and many stories of their past but it all comes about so organically. No one ever asks 'how's work'.

Your nearest library should have details of book groups and some of them could be wanting new people.