Post Mastectomy advice

[Fushia123]

3 weeks post mastectomy- single. Drains out and recovering. Thought I was doing well but this weekend I’ve had a real dip. Sore, uncomfortable and irritated with DH. Can’t drive and get out easily on my own. First op was in Oct, 2nd in Nov and finally this one.
I’m usually quite good fun, busy and positive. I’m grateful that the cancer has gone away- radiotherapy to come with meds.
Being irritated with DH doesn’t feel fair and I’m trying not to be.
Short daily walks help but don’t want to go anywhere ‘public’ as I feel so obviously lop sided. Too sore yet to wear bra/inserts.
Any advice from anyone who has gone through the same would be gratefully received.

My wife went through this. I felt totally helpless to do anything. I don't have anything to say other than offering solidarity to a member of a club that none of us wanted to join. We just took every day one at a time. Try not to worry about what anyone else thinks. Get out and try to do as much 'normal' stuff as you can.

Big hug.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

I've had a lumpectomy (well two, one in each breast) and am very lopsided. My oldest friend has had a mastectomy on one breast. So we are both lopsided.

Honestly, no one notices. Neither of us wear a prosthetic. And neither of us care very much.

I wish I could show/tell you how not to care. But I cannot, of course.

All I can say is some words like "you are not your boobs" or " your boobs are there to do a job, feed children, not for others to gaze at".

But that doesn't help if you feel differently.

Again, I'm sorry that you feel so ...... Whatever it is you feel. Angry? Sad? Both emotions are understandable.

Thank you for your kind responses. I feel better reading them. Taking one day at a time as suggested.

I has a bi-lateral mastectomy followed by radiation and the only difference between me and how you are feeling is that it was Christmas and I had four children under 8 running around. I was sore and tired and worried but also exceptionally busy. Christmas is hellish most years but that one took the biscuit.

So, I’m afraid, it is one day at a time stuff.

Do what you can, no more.
Find joy in whatever you can, and fuck everything else off.

January sucks in the best years and you’ve just done something so hard, at the worst time of year.

Be very very proud of yourself.

Cancer treatment is a marathon, all you can do is take it one day at a time (cliched I know but true).

Take any offer of help given, don’t feel guilty about what you used to be able to but can’t any more, do anything you can that makes you feel better. Looking after yourself is the priority. Talk to your DH about how you feel if you can, I definitely withdrew and had to make a real effort to communicate.

i couldn’t bear the idea of being lopsided so went for the double. I knew I wouldn’t want reconstruction as with my particular cancer I would have had to wait at least twelve months and I couldn’t face the idea of going back to surgery. You will get to the point where you can use a prosthesis, your body just needs recovery time. Best of luck xx

Thank you. Flatandhappy is a great name!!! Xxxx