Couples who've "swapped" long-term

[MrsCristoforou]

Just musing on this really. I can't imagine it's very common but does anyone know of any couples who were friends and then e.g. one partner from each couple left their partners and got together, and then the other two got together as well?!

Yes a friend of mine at school had parents who swopped with another couple permanently

Yes! Mine and DH’s good friend.

His parents swapped with another local couple when he was about 9 and both couples are still together now 25 years later.

It was all pretty civilised.

Not necessarily, many of these stories could be about the exact same couples, from different people who knew them!

Probably outing but I knew a vicar and a doctor who swapped wives! The vicar lost his career and reputation but the doctor kept his. Both couple are still together many years later. They were all friends to begin with before one couple had an affair and then the other 2 followed suit shortly after.

Any chance you’re Danish? Sounds familiar from my Danish high school day & some of my friends & their teacher parents

@PumpkinParent so sorry , he sounds a lovely man and a fantastic stepdad x

Yes, I know two couples where the guys were best friends. Girl A left Guy A (an old friend of mine) because, although he was besotted with her, she was getting her shit together and moved to another city to pursue her career but he was antsy about leaving home town. I'm not sure why Girl B and Guy B split.

Girl A and Guy B got together pretty soon after, and Guy A was furious, feeling Guy B had stolen his girl, and never spoke to Guy B and Girl A again,

Anyway, girl B got married and had a kid and I think her husband turned out to be pretty awful, and they split after a few years. Guy A gradually got together with Girl B and, from what I could tell I think became a better and more considerate person from being with her, which I'm glad of. He moved in with her in another town and I've lost touch with them.

In the meantime, we've actually become good friends with the other couple and see them quite a lot.

It does happen. Two sets of my parents’ friends ‘swapped’ (us kids were all at the same primary school, which made life quite interesting for all involved). One swapped couple has been happily married for over 25 years, the other swapped couple stayed together probably for about 10 years.

Yes. I know two couples who went on holiday together and came back switched around. They didn't even tell mutual friends, they just let us work it out.

25 years on they all seem very happy so I guess it worked out.

Yes, I know of two couples it happened to. One set of two were friends of my sibling and the other was a work colleague of mine whose husband went off with her best friend leaving her children with the husband and then he and my colleague supported each other through the trauma and eventually ended up together.

A friend's parents did this. The 2 couples did stay together, or at least until death did them part.

My parents have friends who did this over 30 years ago. Both couples still together.

Two prominent morning show people in NYC had an affair, lost their jobs, stayed together and now going to be married. Their respective spouses fell in love and are also in a long term relationship. It was real gossip in the US.

I know 2 couples who did this, one being my dad and step mum. Step mum had an affair and then dad ended up with affair partners wife. The swap didn’t last long and they went back to their partners quite quickly.
The other was someone I worked with and the 2 brothers changed wives but both couples stayed together for 30 years or so..

So sorry for your loss. So glad they got 44 years of happiness together. He sounds like an incredible man.

Yes - the mums and dads of childhood friends of mine. It was the talk of the village. Often wonder if they're still together.

Oh my God I'd forgotten this 🤣🤣🤣

My friends did, they weren't couple friends beforehand but knew each other. They all get on well now (many years later). I don't really know too much about how it happened as I didnt know them then. I believe their ex partners had an affair with each other though. 0

I dated a guy who basically grew up in a cult in country Australia. He said his family was “complicated”…. He was the second eldest, and his parents had four (ish?) kids together, divorced, “swapped” with their besties (who also had several kids) and had several other kids. Then they divorced and remarried the first partners and had some more kids. It didn’t last long because he was quite traumatised growing up in several homes with people everywhere, coming and going with no boundaries. He didn’t know how to be in a relaxed, healthy relationship.

I used to know someone through work who had married his brothers wife and his brother married his (well, ex-wife I supppse by the time he he got married). They were an odd family.

I do! My best friends dad had an affair and when their spouses inevitably found out, they met up to be a supportive shoulder and viola, they’re now married, as are the original affair couple.

I dont know this situation but as my friend's mum was dying she basically set up her husband with her widowed SIL. They got married and the cousins became step siblings!
It worked out well and 40 yesrs on they are still together.

My cousin.

I introduced my DP to this cousin and his wife at a family wedding and they chatted for a while. Afterwards, DP said they seem like a nice couple. I explained 'his second wife's first husband is now his first wife's second husband'. It took a few minutes for DP to work that out.

My cousin's second marriage is still (40+ years on) going strong.

I remember a couple of articles about this subject:

My parents married the couple next door | Life and style | The Guardian

My parents swapped partners with their friends and destroyed my life | Daily Mail Online
Jane Alison wrote a memoir about her experience, called The Sisters Antipodes.

In both examples above, it sounds as though at least some of the children found the family swaps very difficult to deal with.

I knew of a family where one sister ended up dating and then living with the step son of the other sister but they were a bit 'Jeremy Kyle'. Made family events a bit awks, but the sisters remained on good terms suprisingly.